Stashed Ensign

[The Chief]

A young stashed SNA wannabe ensign is working late at the Pentagon one evening. As he clocks out of his office at about 8 P.M. he sees the Admiral standing by the classified document shredder in the hallway, a piece of paper in his hand.

"Do you know how to work this thing?" the Admiral asks. "My
secretary's gone home and I don't know how to run it."

"Yes, sir," says the young ensign, who turns on the machine, takes the paper from the Admiral, and feeds it in.



"Thanks," says the Admiral, "I just need one copy..."

 

[k_smittay]

Very nice.

 

[Tactical387]

swing and a miss

 

[nittany03]

A stashed ensign is sitting around bored one day when he gets curious about the meaning behind the shiny gold bars he just put on. He asks the Command Master Chief what the meanings are behind the officer rank insignia.

"Well, sir, that's actually a very good question. You see, you wear a gold bar because you're valuable to us, but still malleable. We're trying to mold you into the officer you should one day become."

"Then, when you put on JG, you're still valuable, but you're a little less malleable. So we give you a silver bar. When you make Lieutenant, you're even more valuable, so you get two silver bars."

"By the time you make Captain, you soar high over your troops, so the symbol of a Captain is an Eagle. And as far as the average deck seaman is concerned, an Admiral is up there among the stars, so that symbol is self-explanatory."

The young Ensign thought this over for awhile and decided that the Master Chief's explanations made a whole lot of sense, but he'd skipped over a couple of ranks. What about Commanders and Lieutenant Commanders?

"Oh," said the Master Chief. "Those are the most ancient insignia in all the military. They go back all the way to the Garden of Eden. You see, ever since Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit and discovered that they were naked, people have always covered their pricks with leaves."

 

[BackOrdered]

I felt a strong draft as that one speed over my head.

*thinks harder*

OIC, funny.