A Marine walks up to the bar and orders a shot of martini.
He asks for a martini politely, and tips twice the amount of the drink. The bartender surprizingly smiles and thanks him. The Marine sparks a conversation with the bartender. He asks the bartender, Hey you like to gamble? The bartender says, "depends on what the odds are, and how much is at stake...why do you ask?" He says...hmmm how about I bet you 5 bucks that I could pull out my toungue and touch my nose. The bar tender says.."hmmm that's not much, so ok. He pulls out his toungue and touches his nose with his finger. The bartender looks upset, and gripes about how that was cheating.
The Marine tells him..hey I didn't say touch my nose with my toungue. You should pay attention to what I say. So cough it up...it's only a tip that I gave you anyway. The bartender says alright take it you petty shiesty lil ****, and tosses the 5 to him and walks away.
The Marine then tells the bartender, "Wait up...How about I give you a chance to make 10 times what you lost?? The bartender stops and turns around...what is it this time?
The Marines tells him, "50 bucks says I take out my eye and put it in my mouth. The bartenders goes you'll take that thing out completely and put it in your mouth right...I mean it. You have to literally take your eye out of the socket and put it in your mouth! No jokes. The Marine pauses and then says yes i'll do it. The bartender takes 50 bucks out of the cash register, and puts it on the table. The Marine takes out his eye and puts it in his mouth. The bartender was shocked. The marine then wiped the glass eye and put it back in the empty socket..."Oh I lost this eye during the Gulf war. I got a glass eye to fill the empty socket. The bartender furiously screams, "****! goddam friggin glass eye wearin son of @#$%
etc.! ripps off his apron and begins to Charge out.
The Marine yells again...hey wait!! Wait. I'll give you an offer to win 10x what you lost! You can't resist.
The bartender turns around. He has a very stark stare and looks very impatient, "What!"
How about this. I'll bet you $500 bucks that I could put a shot glass on one end of the bartop, and I walk all the way to the other end of the bar and piss. I bet you $500 bucks that every drop will land in the shot glass. Not one drop on the bar top.
The bartender thinks about it. He tells the Marine, "You're gonna piss right? Your own piss. No devices, contraptions nothing! You will unzip your pants and piss out of your pinis right? No fake plastic water gun penis nothing...no jokes. You'll piss the same way I do right? The Marine agrees. So the bartender goes to the back and hurries out with $500 and rolls it up and puts it in his front pocket and nods to the Marine.
The Marine does his business, and pisses all over the counter. The bartender all smiles wipes it up frantically and collects his win.
The bartender asks him, "So why did you do it?..you know you'll loose that one. The marines puts his arm around the bartenders neck and pats his shoulder. He tells the bartender, "See that big group of men in the far back table...I bet them $500 a piece that I'd piss all over the bartop, and you'll gladly wipe it off without one complaint.
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Semper Fi
He asks for a martini politely, and tips twice the amount of the drink. The bartender surprizingly smiles and thanks him. The Marine sparks a conversation with the bartender. He asks the bartender, Hey you like to gamble? The bartender says, "depends on what the odds are, and how much is at stake...why do you ask?" He says...hmmm how about I bet you 5 bucks that I could pull out my toungue and touch my nose. The bar tender says.."hmmm that's not much, so ok. He pulls out his toungue and touches his nose with his finger. The bartender looks upset, and gripes about how that was cheating.
The Marine then tells the bartender, "Wait up...How about I give you a chance to make 10 times what you lost?? The bartender stops and turns around...what is it this time?
The Marines tells him, "50 bucks says I take out my eye and put it in my mouth. The bartenders goes you'll take that thing out completely and put it in your mouth right...I mean it. You have to literally take your eye out of the socket and put it in your mouth! No jokes. The Marine pauses and then says yes i'll do it. The bartender takes 50 bucks out of the cash register, and puts it on the table. The Marine takes out his eye and puts it in his mouth. The bartender was shocked. The marine then wiped the glass eye and put it back in the empty socket..."Oh I lost this eye during the Gulf war. I got a glass eye to fill the empty socket. The bartender furiously screams, "****! goddam friggin glass eye wearin son of @#$%
The Marine yells again...hey wait!! Wait. I'll give you an offer to win 10x what you lost! You can't resist.
How about this. I'll bet you $500 bucks that I could put a shot glass on one end of the bartop, and I walk all the way to the other end of the bar and piss. I bet you $500 bucks that every drop will land in the shot glass. Not one drop on the bar top.
The bartender thinks about it. He tells the Marine, "You're gonna piss right? Your own piss. No devices, contraptions nothing! You will unzip your pants and piss out of your pinis right? No fake plastic water gun penis nothing...no jokes. You'll piss the same way I do right? The Marine agrees. So the bartender goes to the back and hurries out with $500 and rolls it up and puts it in his front pocket and nods to the Marine.
The Marine does his business, and pisses all over the counter. The bartender all smiles wipes it up frantically and collects his win.
The bartender asks him, "So why did you do it?..you know you'll loose that one. The marines puts his arm around the bartenders neck and pats his shoulder. He tells the bartender, "See that big group of men in the far back table...I bet them $500 a piece that I'd piss all over the bartop, and you'll gladly wipe it off without one complaint.
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Semper Fi
