Paid Navy spouses?

[Mos]

Interesting op-ed. I'm not married, so I'm curious what those that are think of this.

The Navy has a problem with unpaid labor

The Navy is still operating on outdated models where spouses are often seen as an extension of the service member rather than as rather than as an independent, valuable individual.

www.navytimes.com

Personally, I've always felt that if I got married, I would make it clear to my SO that while my career might impact her family life and geographic stability, it'd be up to her how much she wanted to be involved in the life of the command, regardless of whatever rank or position I might have. I find the idea of paying a skipper's spouse for her/his time is pretty fucking stupid, as there should exist no obligation, and if there is, then the social pressure is wrong, not the lack of compensation.

 

[Brett327]

Agreed... The degree to which a spouse is involved in the command is 100% up to them. No command will succeed or fail based on the level of participation from the CO's spouse. If a CO has certain expectations of their spouse, that is 100% an interpersonal/relationship matter, and not something the Navy needs to be involved with.

When I was a squadron XO, both the CO and I were bachelors. Several DH spouses stepped up to do the CO's spouse role. Likewise, the guy who followed me had a wife with a busy career and she participated in squadron spouse activities in a minimal fashion. Zero impact on the functioning of the command. The idea of the CO's spouse somehow "leading" the other spouses is absurd. It's mostly a bunch of wives getting together to be social and drink chardonnay... which sounds like a pretty good time to me.

 

[robav8r]

Boy, this will be a fun thread ?

Here’s a real pearl: “Historically, there has been an expectation in the Navy that the CO’s spouse would act as a mini-CO to the ship’s spouses.”

Uh . . . . . . no.

 

[insanebikerboy]

I’ve had the range from bachelor CO to CO spouse that was harder to find than BigFoot to a CO spouse that got named in the command climate survey as running the squadron.

Incredibly, the actual impact on flight ops in all cases was zero. ?‍♂️

 

[exNavyOffRec]

Boy, this will be a fun thread ?

Here’s a real pearl: “Historically, there has been an expectation in the Navy that the CO’s spouse would act as a mini-CO to the ship’s spouses.”

Uh . . . . . . no.

I quoted this exact part on one of my nuke boards, this whole thing about spouses wearing their husband/wife rank on their shoulder is how you piss off spouses, a few years ago one of the sub enlisted nukes had said that at Bangor his wife attended some spouse event and the CO's wife started trying to order people around saying they need to be at certain places at certain times, sign up for command events, etc.... She left never came back and told her husband (at the time E-6) that she wasn't going to be told what to do by some woman that after graduating college hadn't worked a day in her life and is out of touch with the real world while she who was a mechanical engineer was working a professional job and didn't have time volunteer in the middle of the day.

 

[sevenhelmet]

The article's conclusion is about paying the command Ombudsman. Seeing how hard ours worked during my last AD deployment, I might be OK with some kind of honorarium or stipend. That shit's not easy, especially in larger commands.

Agree with you all that the COW does not need to be paid for their services. Level of involvement is purely up to them and the CO they are married to. Pay would force the USN to codify something that is unique to each CO/command, making it less individual and more Navy-flavored. Gross. To say nothing of the negative effects on the social and power dynamics within a given command and spouses' group/FRG. Ugh...

 

[picklesuit]

Would absolutely be okay with the ombudsman being a paid gig. That job sucks.

As for the Knives Club, I’ve seen them super active and awesome and I’ve seen them be like three women harping at each other. Dealing with that shit is one reason my wife is happy we’ve been to our last VP squadron.

 

[Gatordev]

Here’s a real pearl: “Historically, there has been an expectation in the Navy that the CO’s spouse would act as a mini-CO to the ship’s spouses.”

Uh . . . . . . no.

I saw this in a squadron for the officer's wives (or is it officer wives?). At one point, after a DH's wife stated she no longer was interested in being a part of the officer wive's club (due to the CO's wife), the DH was debriefed about it by the CO and was told there would be consequences. The Queen Bee attitude was well-known among even the JOs, as lot of the JOs were married, as well.

 

[insanebikerboy]

I saw this in a squadron for the officer's wives (or is it officer wives?). At one point, after a DH's wife stated she no longer was interested in being a part of the officer wive's club (due to the CO's wife), the DH was debriefed about it by the CO and was told there would be consequences. The Queen Bee attitude was well-known among even the JOs, as lot of the JOs were married, as well.

Man I really hope that DH went VFR direct to the JAG. Undue command influence?

 

[Gatordev]

Man I really hope that DH went VFR direct to the JAG. Undue command influence?

I'm not sure if he pursued any other recourse, other than that he called the detailer almost immediately and started negotiating orders. The DH's in the squadron had started to regain some credibility (and decent trust for most of them) with the JOs at this point, so word spread fast this happened. He was a respected DH and post-OIC O-4, but honestly, it wasn't a surprise to hear this happened, at least at the JO level, with that CO.

The stories I can share...