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Hoser Satrapa in February 08 Popular Mechanics

Old R.O.

Old R.O.

Professional No-Load
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Check out the February 2008 Popular Mechanics magazine. Good article on the California fires and the aerial armada that fought it. Front and center (complete with photo) is Joe "Hoser" Satrapa, F-8/F-14/aerial gunnery legend and current CDF Turbo-Stoof driver.
 
AllAmerican, Thanks for the backup. More pics here than in the hard-copy article.
Here's a "Hoser" story from the Winter 2005 issue of The Hook magazine:

Joe “Hoser” Satrapa was one of the legends of Naval Aviation in the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s. Beginning with the Naval Academy Class of ’64, his goal was to finish last in his class without getting kicked out in order to be the “anchorman” and win the pool of money amounting to thousands of dollars all midshipmen paid into. He almost won and was highly upset he missed it by only a few slots. But the legend had begun.
Tom Foster of Fort Walton Beach, Fla., picks up the narrative:
“In the mid-’70s while attached to VX-4, I lived at the beach in Malibu. It was a fine establishment where my roommate and I paid $65.00 per month. Our neighbors paid more than a million for their condos and we had more beach than they did! For some reason they tended not to pal around with us. Our location was a great place for parties or just bumming around.
“Hoser would come over armed with his slingshot and hound in trail for a brew and some sport. We would go to the beach and when the time was right, we’d toss up some bread to attract seagulls. When they were hovering awaiting the next free hors drawers, Hoser would cut loose with his elephant-killer slingshot. He always tried for a wing shot, which brought the little squawkers down but didn’t take them out. His hound would chase the dirty bird all over the beach and make the final kill. Great sport! Kinda like dragging the bogey.
“To arm his slingshot, Hoser used expended slugs. The best place to get them was the NAS Point Mugu rifle and pistol range. Hoser would sneak out after hours and dig around in the berm, filling his stocks. The local rent-a-gendarme took offense to Hoser making free and easy with ‘their property,’ so they ran him off. To make matters worse, they started watching the rifle range closely, thus putting a crimp on his ability to rearm.
“Not to be outfoxed, Hoser started hanging out on base and when a rent-a-cop drove by, bullet in pocket (as with Barney Fife), he would stealthily follow them. If they went one mile per hour over the speed limit, Hoser would flag them down, make a ‘citizens arrest’ and file complaints with security.
“This went on for some time. Finally the base security officer, white flag in hand, called Hoser in and told him he was welcome to the slugs, but to please let them know when he was going to the range.”
 
We're not talking about "Toe"-ser Hoser are we? I knew him when he was at Strike U at Fallon.
 
...with a name like "Hoser", clearly a righteous, magnanimous, strapping fellow with unmatched boozing and womanizing acumen.
 
Ryker044 said:
From the F-14 Tomcat Association forums:

The Hoser Chornicles, some pretty amazing stories.

http://www.tomcat-sunset.org/forums/index.php?topic=2441.0
Click to expand...

Hoser indeed is alive and well and his tales are being told in the Hoser Chronicles as noted above. He heard about people talking about him and showed up in person. I'm talking to him on a regulare basis and will be happy to suggest he make a guest appearance here.

Hoser's gravestone, which is in his yard and he "waters" on a regular basis

Hoser.jpg
 
The story 'bout seagulls is basically true 'cept it was practice for bringing down Mallards and Pintails on the causeway leading to the Pt. Mugu O'Club. Ya see Pt Mugu is a bird sanctuary and every evening 'bout dusk, thousands of ducks would fly in from the west to rack out till morning on the fresh water side of the water mass. O'l Puttz (my dog) and I would park on the causeway half way to the O'club a couple evenings a week and take out 2 or 3 ducks for din din with D-Hose's sling shot using spent .45 ACP slugs. If the lead was not perfect, the duck would fall in the water before or after the road. Then Puttz would retrieve them. The causeway was very nice because it was easy to spot base rentacops from both directions way before they became a threat. Great source of mirth and levity to say nothing bout the great chow. And that's the rest of the story! VR submitted D-Hose
 
Old R.O. said:
AllAmerican, Thanks for the backup. More pics here than in the hard-copy article.
Here's a "Hoser" story from the Winter 2005 issue of The Hook magazine:

Joe “Hoser” Satrapa was one of the legends of Naval Aviation in the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s. Beginning with the Naval Academy Class of ’64, his goal was to finish last in his class without getting kicked out in order to be the “anchorman” and win the pool of money amounting to thousands of dollars all midshipmen paid into. He almost won and was highly upset he missed it by only a few slots. But the legend had begun.
Tom Foster of Fort Walton Beach, Fla., picks up the narrative:
“In the mid-’70s while attached to VX-4, I lived at the beach in Malibu. It was a fine establishment where my roommate and I paid $65.00 per month. Our neighbors paid more than a million for their condos and we had more beach than they did! For some reason they tended not to pal around with us. Our location was a great place for parties or just bumming around.
“Hoser would come over armed with his slingshot and hound in trail for a brew and some sport. We would go to the beach and when the time was right, we’d toss up some bread to attract seagulls. When they were hovering awaiting the next free hors drawers, Hoser would cut loose with his elephant-killer slingshot. He always tried for a wing shot, which brought the little squawkers down but didn’t take them out. His hound would chase the dirty bird all over the beach and make the final kill. Great sport! Kinda like dragging the bogey.
“To arm his slingshot, Hoser used expended slugs. The best place to get them was the NAS Point Mugu rifle and pistol range. Hoser would sneak out after hours and dig around in the berm, filling his stocks. The local rent-a-gendarme took offense to Hoser making free and easy with ‘their property,’ so they ran him off. To make matters worse, they started watching the rifle range closely, thus putting a crimp on his ability to rearm.
“Not to be outfoxed, Hoser started hanging out on base and when a rent-a-cop drove by, bullet in pocket (as with Barney Fife), he would stealthily follow them. If they went one mile per hour over the speed limit, Hoser would flag them down, make a ‘citizens arrest’ and file complaints with security.
“This went on for some time. Finally the base security officer, white flag in hand, called Hoser in and told him he was welcome to the slugs, but to please let them know when he was going to the range.”
Click to expand...

About the Canoe "U" deal, it twernt a miss by a "few" on the "Anchor Man" deal. D-Hose was 924 out of 925 class of 64. The class started with 1340 and 925 made it. Tough times.....5 suicides, 4 naturals and Tex Foley who suffered a broken neck in football practise 3' to my left on Farragut Field in 1962. The field was renamed,,, "Foley Field". The other 405 bug outs were cause of grades, medicals and personal "druthers". Zeroing in on "anchor man" was dangerous and very difficult. In fact, D-hose gets called before the Battalion Aptitude Board six weeks before graduation and..... well,,, that's a whole 'nother story. VR D-Hose

PS: How 'bout a spelling check so us dummies do not stand out!
 
Hoser's tips on deckspotting

Passed directly to me by Hoser for posting:

DECK SPOTTERS! Flying F-8s off 27 Charlies, when you passed the ramp, you are in the wires. Not so on a big boat....After bagging the Golden Tail Hook 2 combat cruises in a row on the Intrepid, D-Hose is a bit cocky transitioning to the Vigi: never had a clue that he was a deck spotter until the first day VFR trap aboard the Saratoga on his initial Vigi CQ.

Holygwackaskmoly,,,,rolling into the groove....Damn! That looks like a Air Farce floating runway....Never seen such a giant deck! Well, passing the ramp, it looks very high and a bolter is forthwith??..so figuring the ball ain't even close, D-Hose opts to "Go for it",,,egh! D-Hose settles into a taxi to a one wire with a blown mainmount and big time egg on chops as well as copious amount of s--t on boots having to shut down in the wires and get a tow to a spot to tie down. Major el spankoe!

Well, obviously, D-Hose feels like hammered Gerbil Poop and is replaying the screw up in his squash...Bottom line, when ya pass the round down on a big boat, ya have a hell of a lot of flying left to the wires. Seems liek an eternity, still flying the ball to touchdown after the ramp,,,Think "Boom" Powell saw this flagrant demo of deckspotting and reinforced "ya gotta fly the ball all the way to touchdown".

Guess some guys go their entire life not knowing they are a "Deck Spotter!" Once, when a shot up A-4 took out the LSO platform and MOVLAS station, 9 of us made it back aboard the Fighting "I" with no lens and zero LSOs,,,but that's a whole 'nother story.

VR= D-Hose

PS: Don't believe I ever spotted the deck again!! Well, at least not 'til getting into the Turkey!
 
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