Help a future aviator plan a wedding!!!

[sassen]

Hey all, I am currently engaged to the greatest girl ever I'm leaving for ocs on 9/20, expected graduation on 12/20. The biggest problem we need to address is setting a date for the wedding. I am going in to be an NFO, so after OCS I have API, primary, intermediate, etc. We were hoping to get married sometime in the spring or early summer of 2004. I know api is 6 weeks, primary is 14, then intermediate depends on which plane I get, etc. I have no idea how to find out when all of this will take place and thus have no clue how I can go about setting a date. And we can't plan the wedding until we have set a date As if that wasn't enough fun, she wants to have the wedding up north (she's from the Boston area), so I would need to physically leave Pensacola to get married. If anybody has any information or suggestions that can help me figure this out, it would be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks!

-brian

"Peace over anger, honor over hate, strength over fear."

 

[HrntDrvrsWife]

Hi Brian,
Speaking from experience, setting a "firm" date for a wedding during training (or once in the Navy for that matter) is going to be extremely difficult; no matter what way you look at it...
But if it helps, the most realistic approach would be to shoot for one of the federal holiday weekends...that way you are almost guaranteed at least 3 days, and then depending on how gracious your instructors are and where you are in training you may be able to "snivvle" for some extra leave..
My husband HornetDrvr and I took this approach while he was in the advanced level over the Thanksgiving holiday in the midwest (thus having to request leave), offering that extra day as well.
And just to be up front and honest, I hope you and your future spouse-to-be realize while getting married during training is frowned upon, it is almost certain you will have to postpone any plans for a honeymoon

...
You might also want to start talking to some of the guys as well so they can give you some insight on how to approach this topic with the powers that be, because ultimately they determine what happens in the long run.
I hope this helped you some.
And BEST OF LUCK to you both!

 

[1devildoc]

The long holiday weekend is a good idea. My husband is active duty Navy, and currently applying to OCS. We got married over six years ago, and it was an experience planning the wedding around the Navy. We ended up changing our wedding date three times because we had no other choice. We ended up getting married a year sooner than we had "originally" planned. We had a little wedding, only 25 people, and he deployed for 6 months a few weeks later. We were unable to have a honeymoon, because he couldn't get the time off. Hoverver a year later when we were stationed in Spain we spend two wonderful weeks in Italy. It was sort of a late honeymoon, but it was great! I have learned so much these past 7 years I have been with my husband. I am an extreem "planner" by nature, but I have learned that the key to a happy life in the Navy is flexability!!! Hope that helps a little. Congratulations on all your upcoming events.

 

[JenniH]

My husband just finished OCS a couple of weeks ago and the Navy made them take a "mandatory" 10 day leave right after graduation. That may be your best bet, although it wouldn't be in the spring if you graduate in Dec. It will be hard to take leave during IFS/API, but there is also wait time to start classes there..so you could be stuck in a stash job and could probably take leave then. But...there's no way of knowing what, if any, wait time you'll have. It's probably safe to say that you will have leave time right after OCS.

 

[DevilDucksGirl]

Well Brian- I can definitely add my 2 cents since I am a newlywed myself!

My husband and I got married on July 19th. And that was the end of his 4th week of API. Now, when we planned that date months ago, we had planned that to be before API- but Greg got accelerated quite quickly into API and so, that fell on the 4th week. Like JenniH said- there is no telling how long you will have a break between OCS and API. Some guys in his API class had waited 3 months- Greg only waited 2 weeks. It was good timing too- the first 4 weeks of API are all academics. So, he said it was a good end to that!

However, I am from Ohio, and in order to get married anytime soon I had to have my wedding down here in P'cola and only had immediate family there. So, that is where I traded off. But for me a big wedding wasn't necessary. Don't get me wrong, I would've loved to have had it, but just after the small quaint wedding we had- I actually was quite glad I didn't deal with half of the stress that most brides go through. What we had decided to do is have a military wedding- and then throw a big reception- and/or vow ceremony (so all of the friends of the family could witness too) up in Ohio. So, that is are plans now. Of course with him being in API- as Dawn mentioned above- we did have to sacrifice having a big honeymoon.

We could only go away for the weekend. I was and am quite sad about that- but we plan on doing something really really big when we do go somewhere.

I also agree with what Lis4Lady said- You can have a small ceremony at the base (it is free for the chapel and facility- donations are always good though) and then plan a big 'bash' up north later. Then, you have the benefit of being married and getting benefits earlier. But- if you are dead-set on a tradional wedding-then after OCS- and taking leave is probably the best- or just gamble- but that is really really risky.

It is a hard thing to decide. We had a lot of trouble deciding this. You can just ask some of these gals on here! It was a 'hot' topic for a while.

But, in the end being together was really important to us- and most of all being married was the ultimate prize- so we really didn't see any reason to wait. I hope this helps at least answer some questions for you in your decision making. I am always open if you or your fiance want to PM me! I can give you a lot of tips for doing it in P'cola- or at least answer any questions you have. Good luck!

And just remember to follow your heart and do what YOU and HER think is best!

Heather

Supporting my Ducky in the Navy

 

[Undertow]

My wife and I did the justice of the peace in P'cola last November and are going to be scheduling a formal ceremony once we both come off our respective deployments in Nov. of this year. That's my personal experience.. take your time with the formal stuff, don't rush it. As far as setting firm dates, the only thing that never changes on our board is "Plans are subject to change". Hey you're not even active duty yet and you're already experiencing scheduling difficulty.. wait till you get in Welcome to the Navy