Getting married during flight school

[rbridges416]

My fiancee and I are trying to figure out when we want to have our wedding, but it's difficult to plan something a year or more out when one works for someone as uncertain as the navy.

I was wondering how difficult it would be during any phase of training (looking more at primary or advanced training) to take leave for a wedding and honeymoon. Is it even possible to coordinate something like this? And considering the long timeframe one needs for wedding planning, how far in advance would i be able to ask for leave?

 

[SETX07]

This was discussed a while back in another thread. From what I have picked up on it is possible but you kind of have to just do it on short notice between schools. Other than that I'll let someone with more experience chime in as for I am just a boot Lt. waiting to go to TBS. Masterbates might be able to help though...

 

[HAL Pilot]

This post is a good starting place.....

http://www.airwarriors.com/forum/showpost.php?p=334812&postcount=65

 

[TheBubba]

Just so you know... I got married right smack in the middle of NFO primary... My weekend went something like this:

Thrus AM: Checkride.
Thurs PM: Get outta P-Cola
Fri AM - Sun AM: Wedding stuff, chill out for one night with new Mrs Bubba.
Sun PM: Fly back to P-Cola
Mon AM: Ground school

Hope it helps.

 

[BigIron]

I suggest you wait until after winging and before the FRS if that is possible, or better after your first cruise.

 

[usmcecho4]

If you can convince her, I highly recommend getting a courthouse wedding. It takes less than a half hour and you start to draw BAH w/ dependents. It works out to a couple hundred dollars a month that you can put toward your chruch wedding/beer fund.

Semper Fi,
usmcecho4

 

[NozeMan]

I managed to do it during API. I gambled on the fact that I would graduate in May, do IFS at my NROTC unit and then sit in the A Pool for a long time down at Pensacola. In my case it worked out perfectly. We got married during the "Christmas Break" for the Training Commands and it worked out very well. My friends in primary etc got pretty descent leave periods for the Christmas time frame, but they had to actually HAVE the leave saved up. If youre going to attempt this, don't use up any leave before you start flight school and save it all up for Christmas. Thats how I worked it.

Keep in mind a lot of this is no longer possible. You can't waste 50-60 days doing IFS at home anymore. So that may speed up your wait time before starting API.

 

[Huggy Bear]

My wife and I started planning a June wedding (I was in advanced). My class advisor said not to do it, we can't guarantee leave and you should be real busy then. He advised me to wait until I was winged.

June came and went and I only flew 3 times that whole month. :icon_rage

We instead planned a wedding for between Xmas and New Years and it worked out OK.

Here is the dirty little secret. The training command folks will tell you to wait until you are winged. BUT, the FRS is probably on an even more strict time table and won't want to give you time off. "Wait until you are done and in the fleet." When you get to the fleet, however, depending on where they are in their turnaround will not or cannot give you time off for possibly a long while.

So the bottom line. Don't get married until your shore tour. Your fiance will understand.

 

[TheBubba]

If you can convince her, I highly recommend getting a courthouse wedding. It takes less than a half hour and you start to draw BAH w/ dependents. It works out to a couple hundred dollars a month that you can put toward your chruch wedding/beer fund.

Semper Fi,
usmcecho4

Agree... I have a few friends who did that. My wife and I thought about it, but because of the distance and some other circumstances, it wasn't feasible.

You end up getting 1 or 2 hundred more in BAH, your wife can start to use Tri-Care, and if there's a base near where she lives (providing you're not living together), she can get Commissary/NEX privileges. That's what my wife and I were looking at when we decided to look at a courthouse wedding then have the church wedding. But, like I said, it ended up not being feasible.

 

[RAS]

or don't get married at all. It saves on a lot of expenses during your divorce and aftermath. Cynical, yes, but the divorce rate is too high in the Navy to ignore the fact that a lot of marriages fail. Yeah I know, "it won't happen to me". Mine failed during my first tour, fortunately before I got married. She decided she wasn't moving to Guam and that was that -- buh bye. Good luck.

If you must, do the civil ceremony. There's a lesson to be learned if she needs to have a big church wedding will all the trimmings.

Personal highly biased opinion :icon_wink

 

[scoober78]

or don't get married at all. It saves on a lot of expenses during your divorce and aftermath. Cynical, yes, but the divorce rate is too high in the Navy to ignore the fact that a lot of marriages fail. Yeah I know, "it won't happen to me". Mine failed during my first tour, fortunately before I got married. She decided she wasn't moving to Guam and that was that -- buh bye. Good luck.

If you must, do the civil ceremony. There's a lesson to be learned if she needs to have a big church wedding will all the trimmings.

Personal highly biased opinion :icon_wink

Come on...airplanes crash too but you still go flying...:sleep_125 Caution is good advice but this line is getting old. Yeah...marriage can fail...and sometimes it works. Look at your relationship with a critical eye and if you want to make it work, stay flexible. This is your first lesson. Good luck to you.

 

[Kathy]

BUT, the FRS is probably on an even more strict time table and won't want to give you time off.

We got married while my husband was in the P-3 FRS. They gave him Friday - Tuesday off (normally, it would have been Monday, but Monday was a holiday). We weren't able to take a honeymoon until after the FRS.

 

[RAS]

Come on...airplanes crash too but you still go flying...

Aircraft accident rates are far below divorce rates. If everyone had a NATOPS for selecting their bride and getting married it might be better

The problem I see with getting married during the flight pipeline is the rush. The critical eye you mention is less than reliable without all the input you need. 6-9 month deployments can be rough on any relationship. If all you have is college and flight school to make that judgment you don't have all the facts, you don't know what will happen during that first work-up and deployment. Everybody is different though which is why I mentioned that I recognized my highly biased opinion.

As for me, best thing that could have happened was not getting married to her, maintenance was too high. I did fine

 

[NavAir42]

My two cents: plan on getting married over a three day weekend. All of the training squadrons I was in basically said they'd give us one working day off. Doing it that way, you'll get 4 days or so instead of the normal 3. It's nearly impossible to plan when you'll be finishing and/or starting primary or advanced so trying to game the schedule so that your wedding will fall between them is impossible. The lone exception to this is early in A-pool before API. If you know when your report date is you may be able to count on a few weeks off before starting IFS/API and plan accordingly, but nothing is gauranteed.


Also, don't plan on a honeymoon any time soon, and make sure she understands that it won't be happening of awhile.

 

[Jen]

The hubby and I were married before flight training began, so I can't help you out with a timeline, but I second the courthouse wedding. My husband and I did this and I don't regret it at all. I will say that at first I did, but now that I look back I thank God we didn't waste all of that money! We would have had to pay for everything ourselves, and who knows.. had we had that fancy ceremony, we'd be paying the loan for that instead of the loan for my hubbys little red GTO!