Female Aviators and Family?

[HeartofTexas]

I'm 26, single, no kids and in the process of applying to OCS to become a pilot. I'm already familiar with the aviation community, mostly from the enlisted side. Based on my observations, particularly of female pilots/NFOs, it seems they either never have kids or once they have a few, they work on finishing up their commitment and then getting out. I'd like a family someday, but my top priority for the next 5-6 years is my military career and maybe if I get a shore tour, then worry about starting a family. Who knows. Most of the male pilots I know are married with kids and their wives are either STAHM or have flexible careers that support their spouse's constant deploying. The female Os I know are either divorced with no kids, or still establishing themselves in their pipelines with no plans for kids anytime soon.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice or observations on female aviators being able to successfully (or unsuccessfully) balance work and family (to a reasonable extent) or if "being out of commission" for a year created career setbacks?

 

[IKE]

I've known multiple female aviators with kids who have flown for 20 years and promoted to O-5. Most tactically aimed for having kids during their shore tour. I don't personally know any who made CO, but they must be out there.

My last CSG RDML was a SWO married to a SEAL RDML and had twin 9-yr olds, so anything is possible, depending on your priorities.

 

[Uncle Fester]

Most female officers time it to have their kids during shore tours. A guy in my first squadron married a girl within the same community. She had their kids on shore duty, tried out the Career Intermission Program (I think that's still a thing?) for a couple of years to stay home with them, and subsequently made squadron CO, Wing Commodore, and Deputy Supe at the Academy, so it's definitely do-able.

 

[Renegade One]

I don't personally know any who made CO, but they must be out there.

I do, and they are.

 

[DanMa1156]

I've known multiple female aviators with kids who have flown for 20 years and promoted to O-5. Most tactically aimed for having kids during their shore tour. I don't personally know any who made CO, but they must be out there.

My last CSG RDML was a SWO married to a SEAL RDML and had twin 9-yr olds, so anything is possible, depending on your priorities.

During my JO tour, we had a CO in my wing who was using it as her time to have kids. Anything is possible.

Plenty of my female colleagues had them during our shore tours.

I know of one who had one in flight school and went on to fly Rhinos - callsign "Juno." Well respected aviator in the airwing.

TLDR: totally possible in different phases. The Navy is getting better at managing it, but that doesn't mean that having kids comes completely consequence free. Ultimately, being a parent and studying the amount you'll be expected to study in Naval Aviation is a challenge unto itself. You may also find that you just want to do a couple of flying tours and you're ready to try something new and there's nothing wrong with that either.

 

[Pags]

It can be done. Also, it's not that much different from a guy being MIL and having a spouse that works a job that's not 9-5. I have several MIL friends whose wives are doctors, nurses, mid wives, lawyers, etc that require the non-MIL part of the family to work long hours and they find ways to manage. Takes family, nannies, aupair, etc. In addition there are plenty of people outside of the military that work jobs with non-standard hours and they all have kids. Doctor/nurses. Oil rig workers.

Bottom line: it can be done, it's just hard.

 

[picklesuit]

It’s feasible, just depends on who you have to watch the kids for you. Previous OPSO was a single mother, she made it work.

Biggest career impact will be the 12-18 months you are not deployable during a pregnancy and post-partum healing. If you get pregnant at the squadron, you just shot your chance at being useful or competitive.

The CIP is definitely a good use for this, if you don’t want to do it at work, otherwise a shore tour without flying will be your time.

My wife delivered our first about three months before API (40 days after OCS graduation!) and we had our second between contacts and instruments in advanced. We scheduled the induction to line up with my phase of training and I only missed four days of work so I didn’t get behind.

There are sacrifices to be made no matter how/when you have kids, so it’s not a small decision.

 

[zippy]

I'm 26, single, no kids and in the process of applying to OCS to become a pilot. I'm already familiar with the aviation community, mostly from the enlisted side. Based on my observations, particularly of female pilots/NFOs, it seems they either never have kids or once they have a few, they work on finishing up their commitment and then getting out. I'd like a family someday, but my top priority for the next 5-6 years is my military career and maybe if I get a shore tour, then worry about starting a family. Who knows. Most of the male pilots I know are married with kids and their wives are either STAHM or have flexible careers that support their spouse's constant deploying. The female Os I know are either divorced with no kids, or still establishing themselves in their pipelines with no plans for kids anytime soon.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice or observations on female aviators being able to successfully (or unsuccessfully) balance work and family (to a reasonable extent) or if "being out of commission" for a year created career setbacks?

Women staying on active duty and having kids is way more common than it used to be. Some stay married and have husbands that follow them around, some are dual mil even and others do the single parent thing.

If it’s important to you, take the time and prioritize it. It won’t prevent you from making it to retirement provided the rest of your paper is good enough.

 

[HeartofTexas]

Thanks for all the responses! My community is pretty small and the number of females even smaller so I really appreciate the outside input.

 

[Slingblade]

My last boss. She is now the CO MCAS Miramar H H&S. She is married to Navy O-5 as well that deploys regularly. Has two kids ages 3&4. Definitely can be done. She is a beast though. She is extremely adept at managing her time. It really is impressive.

Read bio for reference:

Lieutenant Colonel Christine M. Houser

LtCol Houser is a native of Garden City, New York. She graduated from the United States Naval Academy in 2001 and commissioned as a 2nd Lieutenant with a Bachelor of Science degree in

www.miramar.marines.mil