Different Types of Fratinization/Is this One?

[SimpleMind]

Good Morning All,

First I want to say how incredible I think this site is. I've been coming and reading post for awhile, watching how you all help one another and it is truly impressive. The reason I'm writing today is because as a civilian I have worked for the military for about 8 years now, but have a relatively small amount of knowledge concerning fratinizing, and I'd like to know more. The reason is because I have given a big part of my life and heart (after a painful divorce) to a man who's making me keep our relationship a secret because he says it could be fratinization. I'm not in the military, only work for them as a contractor, but he is in the military. We work on seperate bases (Seperate states for that matter) but work for the same cause. He cannot fire me from my position, I cannot demote him, and if something were to happen between us, there is no concern for it affecting our performances (little to do with each other on a day to day basis.) I am not one for lying, or keeping secrets, so as you can imagine its driving me up the wall. I can't seem to be myself, can't tell people about the things that make me happy because it would lead back to people knowing we are a couple, yet he frequently talks about spending the rest of his life with me. I guess I dont feel like this is a superb way of beginning a life together, lying to friends and co-workers. Can anyone shed light on me about where this could be fratinizing or maybe what fratinizing is between civilian and military?

 

[Gatordev]

Based on what you've posted here, I'd say it would be pretty hard to find any reason why you couldn't go public. The only issue I could see someone having would be a conflict of interest since you're a "contractor," but from what you've written, that doesn't even seem to apply. I'm sure you're trying to keep some anonymity, but what's his paygrade (O-5, E7, etc)?

Frat can be boiled down to two basic issues. One is man and woman, whether it's officer/officer, O/E, or E/E (like a chief and junior enlisted). This is fairly easy to identify. The second is harder to define at times, and includes socializing w/ specific individuals who don't fall into your category. Like a male officer going to the bar w/ a male petty officer and socializing all night (deployments, notwithstanding). Obviously, you don't seem to fall into either of those categories.

Hope that helps some.

Edit... Please don't take this the wrong way, but I have to ask. You're sure this isn't a line he's feeding you? You said he has said he wants to spend his life w/ you, but I'm just asking the question, because his attitude (as you're describing it) seems like an easy out. Again, no disrespect meant. I'm a guy, thinking like a guy might.

 

[Brett327]

Based on what you've posted here, I'd say it would be pretty hard to find any reason why you couldn't go public. The only issue I could see someone having would be a conflict of interest since you're a "contractor," but from what you've written, that doesn't even seem to apply. I'm sure you're trying to keep some anonymity, but what's his paygrade (O-5, E7, etc)?

Frat can be boiled down to two basic issues. One is man and woman, whether it's officer/officer, O/E, or E/E (like a chief and junior enlisted). This is fairly easy to identify. The second is harder to define at times, and includes socializing w/ specific individuals who don't fall into your category. Like a male officer going to the bar w/ a male petty officer and socializing all night (deployments, notwithstanding). Obviously, you don't seem to fall into either of those categories.

Hope that helps some.

Edit... Please don't take this the wrong way, but I have to ask. You're sure this isn't a line he's feeding you? You said he has said he wants to spend his life w/ you, but I'm just asking the question, because his attitude (as you're describing it) seems like an easy out. Again, no disrespect meant. I'm a guy, thinking like a guy might.

Agreed. Definitely not fraternization, but I would say that it's still not a good idea. Don't sh!t where you eat, people. This guy is probably telling you what you want to hear to keep you at a "booty call" status. Time to move on.

Brett

 

[saltpeter]

Sounds like this guys married. Has he told you he can't give out his home phone number either. Kick that douche bag to the curb!

 

[Mayday]

I would venture to second, or should I say "third" that. Especially if you work in different states (??), yet he's telling you to keep it quiet? I'd start looking into what else he's got in the closet, or more likely who else he's got in his own state that he doesn't want to know of your existence. Just calling 'em as I see 'em...

 

[TheBubba]

Concur w/ all of the above.

Be careful. Based on your info, its clearly not frat...
However, if he's telling you its frat, he's doing one of two things, maybe both:

1. He's hiding something/someone from you

and/or

2. He's hiding you from someone.

My advice... keep this dude at arms distance till you find out more info.

Hope all works out for ya.

-Bubba's $0.02.

 

[Steve Wilkins]

You want answers?

Go here for answers: http://www.intellius.com/

Pay the few extra bucks for the "special features"....it's worth it!

 

[VarmintShooter]

Does the guy have any influence over government contracts? ie. could someone say that your company was awarded/not awarded a contract due to your relationship?

That might be a legitimate problem. Not fraternization, but an issue nonetheless.

 

[SimpleMind]

Thank you all for the replies. Ask and you shall receive right!!! lol

E6 to answer your question gator, and Vermit no he doesnt have control over the contracts, or anything to do with them for that matter.

I must admit that my thoughts were equating about 20% of his intentions to actual concern for his career, and the other 80% to keeping the allure of being single at his current command. He has this one dream in life I've heard a few men have....wanting to be worshipped by all women.....lol I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt on this one, but I guess like you guys have described it doesnt seem reasonable to propose fratinization as an issue with us. Anyways thanks again, you guys are great...some of you a little blunt...but you got me laughing.

 

[BurghGuy]

Go here for answers: http://www.intellius.com/

Pay the few extra bucks for the "special features"....it's worth it!

That's a pretty crazy site. Does it really work or is it just some persons scheme to get rich or die trying? I mean, does it go into any real detail? For like $100 I'd really hope they were providing some service beyond, "They live here, now go get them you psycho. And thanks for the cash."

 

[beau]

Sounds like the dude is trying to protect his career from some shenanigans he cant seem to stop. Probalby a married dude ....my first guess..

"hey Favra...whats that place you like.....

 

[Fezz CB]

that site is pretty nutty. its scary to think that all this information about oneself is available to anyone with a computer and internet.

im gonna go live off the grid like john conner.

 

[Ryoukai]

that site is pretty nutty. its scary to think that all this information about oneself is available to anyone with a computer and internet.

im gonna go live off the grid like john conner.

Are you also going to break the laws of time and space by sending a machine from the future back to the past to protect yourself in said past without altering the future?

 

[trvsmrtn]

I typed my name into that website and it shows mine and my wife's name and our ages. Says that there is other information available. Would be interesting to find out what other info it has on me. A ton of information is available out there without having to pay for it. Many cities have a GIS website where you can find out where people live, how much they paid for their house, a floorplan, and even an aerial photo. It is kinda scary, and kinda cool at the same time.

 

[SimpleMind]

Okay call me the fool, but I actually paid 7 bucks to see what information appeared................are you guys holding your breath. His address. I think google does that for free.

I imagine paying the 50 bucks might get into a little more detail about marriages, divorces, etc, but I can think of a few more things to do with the money besides snoop for heartache. Like something for after he finds out I'm not doing the secret thing anymore, and I'm single again.

"Hey mom meet your new son-in-law, oh wait let me take him out of the bag first."