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Boyfriend joining the Navy in Oct., need advice!!!

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st1977

Registered User
Hi
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My boyfriend is joining the Navy next October (OCS / Flight School) and we are trying to make decisions that are healthy and realistic for our future.
Because of various factors, I will not be able to follow him and we will have a long distance relationship, probably at least for the first few years.
I have read a lot about the subject, and I know I will have to be very understanding and patient. I want to be supportive to him and help him through the whole process (vs. being a distraction or adding stress to his life). I'm just not sure whether it is even realistic for us to consider a long-distance relationship while he is at OCS and in Flight School. I think I have a fairly good idea of what to expect, but it would really help to hear from people who have experienced a similar situation.
I have posted a similar question on other sites, but want to make sure I have all the information I need to make a good decision. By that, I mean I need your advice whether it is encouraging positives OR hard-to-swallow negatives.
In the end, I do want to make it work. But if it is highly unrealistic that it will work, or if it will be extremely hard, I also want to have that feedback.
Thanks so much for helping!
 
solenita72

solenita72

SWO Wife
Long distance relationships are hard, period! Being a navy signifacant other/spouse, you will have deployments in the future, that will mean that you probably will not talk to him for periods at a time. At this point, you will still have phone contact, once a week at first at OCS, then more frequently towards the end. API is a school, and they get more freedom there, and there are a few girls here that are involved long distance and thier guys are there now, that I am sure can give you the ups and downs of API. My husband was gone for OCS, and it was hard, being several states away from him. He is a Surface Warfare Officer, he went straight to the fleet and will be facing deployments in the future, and I don't see them being any easier, if not harder, but I know that I love him, and this is just where we are in that part of our life. I think that you need to evaluate your relationship, and if it is strong you'll make it. You need to decide if this is what you want in your life!! Good luck!!
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megan620

megan620

EA-6B ECMO/IA Wife
It is a tough choice, but I think Solenita has summed it all up pretty well. My boyfriend just graduated from OCS last friday (woo hoo!) and it was a very tough time, but in the end we both wanted things to work out and I think our relationship is stronger thanks to the distance. You and your boyfriend need to have a heart to heart and see if long distance is what you both want. If it is, then you'll both figure out some way to make it work until you can be with him. I understand your concern, trust me. I can't leave the city I am in until after the end of Dec 2004 because I am in the middle of getting my masters degree and I cant leave until I am done, and he'll be in flight school for SNFO in P-cola (at least at first). I just plan to visit about every 6 weeks or so! :) Good luck on your decision and just talk it out and think it through with him!
 
slabicro

slabicro

Helo wife
My husband was in the Air Force as enlisted when we got married and we did the long distance thing for 2 years. It brought us closer and things have been great ever since. He now has joined and goes to OCS 18 Oct for SNA as well and I am not crazy about the time apart but know with a strong relationship we will make it. I wouldn't give up. It can work. I am a graduate student right now so once he gets done with OCS I won't even be with him right away. I won't go until I graduate in May 04 to be with him in flight school. What class date is he going and where do you live?
 
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st1977

Registered User
Sorry for the delayed response and thanks for the post... Air Force and now SNA, huh? You have to know quite a bit about how it feels to be in a relationship with someone in the military.
My boyfriend is going to OCS October 4 and we just moved to Jacksonville recently (a few weeks ago).
 
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smellyheather

Registered User
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 4 years. These last 2 years we have had a long distance relationship. It was very hard but we made it and our relationship is much stronger because of it. Being away from each other make you appreciate the other person so much more. Good luck!
 
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AndysGirl

SNA Wife
I think what everyone has said is 100% correct. The best thing you can do is to talk to your boyfriend. Tell him all that you are feeling and together you will make the right decision. Good luck to you both!

Rebecca

Go Navy
 
slabicro

slabicro

Helo wife
Ok I had to reply again since I know ST1977 in person now
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We met through air warriors just two weeks ago and live in the same city...what a small world. After meeting Sabine (st1977) and Josh, I have no doubts that they will work
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Yes- there will be days when you don't want to do this any more and think it will never last...but hang in there. PLus, you got me
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As for anyone doing long distance, it's not easy. I no from experience and I, too, will be doing some again through a lot of it not to mention TDY's. BUT, "we will prevail"
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Renee
 
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crimson

Registered User
Hello, Hola,

My father was always gone when I was a kid (he did international healthwork) and I know it was hard on my mom raising us alone. However, I think that the advice given about how strong it makes a relationship is really swell.
My boyfriend graduated from the Naval Academy and has just left to Pensacola, where he is waiting to be classed up for API. I really do not understand the military so please excuse me if I do not know the lingo. I am a medical student so I speak a different lingo altogether.
It would be a waste to distract him or myself from our goals. You have to accomplish goal for yourself first and foremost. The best advice I can give is to make plans, look forward to seeing each other when you can!

AdJ
 
Kathy

Kathy

Reservist Wife
Contributor
Hi, Adriana. I've added your name to the list of people with access to the Private Spouse's Corner forum. Welcome!
 
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