AF/F-16 Jokes

[andrew@itmpl.com.au]

I do not want to start a flame here but I ran into this article recently...
I know that you have probably seen them all before but here it goes..

F16's legs are too short. And they've only got one (semi-reliable) donk.

Lean, Mean, Flameout Machine.

I SHALL RETURN...Well, I might.

Mach Nix.

The F-16. Takes a licking, and takes a licking.

Have you hugged your chute today?

This Vehicle Makes Frequent Stops.

I came. I saw. I bingo'd.

No deposit, no return.

We've spent so much money on this thing that we can't afford to admit we were wrong.

A triumph of style over substance.

The best damn second place fighter in the world.

Instead of a CAS mod, we're going to install a roll bar.

And now with this LANTIRN thing and our new Block 40's, we can hit the ground at NIGHT!

We cover the target like a thong bikini.

And BINGO is my Name-O.

We crash more airplanes before 9-o'clock than most people crash all day.

Last in the talent show, but first in the swimsuit competition.

Lose a few, lose a few.

Feet and knees together, eyes on the horizon...

Designated no-hitter.

Everything you wanted in a fighter and less.

Optimist: F-16 pilot who's worried about dying from cancer.

Only Michael Jackson is more manly.

Hey, today we didn't lose a single jet.

This is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you.

User friendly... if you've got three hands.

If we have a war with BDUs, we've got 'em beat.

Careful badguys...I'm carrying BOTH bombs today. I'm talkin' wall-to-wall MK-82's Pal.

If I carried more weapons, and if I had enough gas, and if I could actually hit the target, and if I had some more REALLY expensive electrons so I could find you, and if my motor didn't quit, and if My wings didn't crack, Boy, I'd really teach you a lesson!

 

[slasher]

haha nice. I needed that this morning!

 

[Av Fan]

Yeah, they dont call that thing the "Lawndart" for nothing.

 

[phrogdriver]

I've seen that same list as a Harrier joke!

 

[EODDave]

Just a few pointers. No flaming here.

The Viper can carry 4 2000 pounders
Has no problem breaking the mach clean
Wasnt meant to have long legs like an F-111 (thats what tankers are for)

The lawn dart saying came around when the electric jet first came out. The AF planted a bunch of vipers in the ground. Since then its reliability is ten times better.

And from a Navy standpoint, I'd love to fly that plane. Dont get me wrong, the Hornet is going to be a blast to fly. However, the F-16 is just one plane that I'd like to fly someday.

Dave

 

[goldwingdreams]

Boo F-16!

 

[Av Fan]

Boo goldwing!

 

[vegita1220]

Boo Av Fan AND F-16! Actually, I'm just kidding, being the young'un I am compared to some of the old buzzards here I don't know about the Viper's early reliability problems so I just think it's the ugliest thing to fly. Don't know how "style over substance" came about cuz that thing's UGLY!

 

[contrail_dash]

Speaking of the Viper....a Thuderbird F-16 crashed on the 14th at an airshow up at Mountain Home AFB. The pilot ejected safely. Story at www.af.mil

 

[Daedalus]

I can't place it, what is the Viper?

 

[Av Fan]

No one in the AF refers to the 16 as the "Fighting Falcon" except on a public forum like a newspaper. Pilots just call it the "Viper". The F-15E is the "Mudhen", B-1 is the "Bone" (for obvious reasons,) the A-10 is the "Warthog", the T-1 is the "Tube of Shame," the T-38 is the "White Rocket" or the "Smurf Jet" depending on which model, and the F-117 is the "Flying Cockroach." Those are just a few examples. Does the Navy have nicknames for their planes like this?

 

[vegita1220]

Hummer, Hoover, Turkey, Bugs, don't remember what Prowlers are called...was it Queers for VQ? Not sure.

 

[Jaxs170]

OK, I cannot stay silent here:

Dave Porter: Pleeeese don't become a sellout on us. The Viper scares the guys who fly it. I heard one AF guy here at Vance, when asked what he wanted to fly, respond with: "Well, I can tell you what I don't want to fly, 16s!" He had worked on them as a mechanic and he added they didn't have the best track record. The 15, well, I'll just say good luck to you the first time you and your Hornet or Tomcat have to go head-to-head against one.

AvFan: T-1 isin't the "tube of shame" if your Navy, and a lot of the AF guys up here flying them actually wanted them, not 38s.

So that leads me to Vegita: Go ____ yourself for the VQ comment, punk!

 

[Av Fan]

Dude, I know people pick the T-1. If I dont get a T-44, I want to track a T-1. I dont really have any dream of being a fighter pilot. I was repeating its nickname from the 38 side of the house.

 

[vegita1220]

Hehe I take it Queers isn't the public friendly nickname for the VQ guys. Seriously, I have no idea what the "official" nick for Prowlers is.