Now I'm not a big fan of stuff making fun of the Navy, but heres a funny story of how the Marine Corps came to be.
In the beginning was the word, and the word was God. In the beginning was God, and all else was darkness and void, and without form. So God created the heavens and the earth. He created the sun, and the moon, and the stars, so that light might pierce the darkness. The earth God divided between the land and the sea, and these he filled with many assorted creatures.
And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of the oceans, God called sailors. And he dressed them accordingly with little trousers that looked like bells at the bottom and with shirts that had cute little flaps on them to hide hickeys on their necks. He also gave them long sideburns and shabby looking beards. God nicknamed them “squids” and banished them to a lifetime at sea, so that normal folks would not have to associate with them. To further identify these unloved creatures, he called them “petty” and “commodore” instead of titles worthy of red-blooded men.
And the flaky creatures of the land, God called soldiers. And with a twinkle in his eye and a sense of humor that only he could have, God made their trousers too short and their covers too large. He also gave them pockets so that they might warm their hands. And to adorn their uniforms, God gave them badges in quantities that only a dime store owner could appreciate. And he gave them emblems and crests, and all sorts of shiny things that glittered, and devices that dangled.
On the 5th day, he thought about creating some air creatures for which he designed a Greyhound bus driver’s uniform, especially for flyboys. But he discarded the idea during the first week, and it was not until years later that some apostles resurrected this theme and established what we now know as the “wild blue yonder wonders.”
And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested. And on the 8th day, at 0730, God looked down upon the earth and was not happy. God was not happy!!!
So he thought about his labors, and in his divine wisdom God created a divine creature. This he called a Marine. And these Marines, who God had created in his own image, were to be of the air, the land and of the sea. And these he gave many wonderful uniforms. Some were green, and some were blue with red trim. And in the early days, some were even a beautiful tan. He gave them practical fighting uniforms, so that they could wage war against the forces of Satan and evil. He gave them service uniforms for their daily work and training, so that they might be sharp and ready. And he gave them evening and dress uniforms, sharp and stylish, handsome things, so that they might promenade with the ladies on Saturday night and impress the **** out of everybody! He even gave them swords, so that people who were not impressed could be dealt with accordingly.
And at the end of the 8th day, God looked down upon the earth and saw that it was good. But was God happy? No! God was still not happy! Because in the course of his labors, he had forgotten one thing. He did not have a Marine uniform for himself! But he thought about it, and thought about it, and finally satisfied himself in knowing that, well, not everybody can be a MARINE!
"THE FEW, THE PROUD, THE MARINES”
(A Story of Creation)
(A Story of Creation)
In the beginning was the word, and the word was God. In the beginning was God, and all else was darkness and void, and without form. So God created the heavens and the earth. He created the sun, and the moon, and the stars, so that light might pierce the darkness. The earth God divided between the land and the sea, and these he filled with many assorted creatures.
And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of the oceans, God called sailors. And he dressed them accordingly with little trousers that looked like bells at the bottom and with shirts that had cute little flaps on them to hide hickeys on their necks. He also gave them long sideburns and shabby looking beards. God nicknamed them “squids” and banished them to a lifetime at sea, so that normal folks would not have to associate with them. To further identify these unloved creatures, he called them “petty” and “commodore” instead of titles worthy of red-blooded men.
And the flaky creatures of the land, God called soldiers. And with a twinkle in his eye and a sense of humor that only he could have, God made their trousers too short and their covers too large. He also gave them pockets so that they might warm their hands. And to adorn their uniforms, God gave them badges in quantities that only a dime store owner could appreciate. And he gave them emblems and crests, and all sorts of shiny things that glittered, and devices that dangled.
On the 5th day, he thought about creating some air creatures for which he designed a Greyhound bus driver’s uniform, especially for flyboys. But he discarded the idea during the first week, and it was not until years later that some apostles resurrected this theme and established what we now know as the “wild blue yonder wonders.”
And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested. And on the 8th day, at 0730, God looked down upon the earth and was not happy. God was not happy!!!
So he thought about his labors, and in his divine wisdom God created a divine creature. This he called a Marine. And these Marines, who God had created in his own image, were to be of the air, the land and of the sea. And these he gave many wonderful uniforms. Some were green, and some were blue with red trim. And in the early days, some were even a beautiful tan. He gave them practical fighting uniforms, so that they could wage war against the forces of Satan and evil. He gave them service uniforms for their daily work and training, so that they might be sharp and ready. And he gave them evening and dress uniforms, sharp and stylish, handsome things, so that they might promenade with the ladies on Saturday night and impress the **** out of everybody! He even gave them swords, so that people who were not impressed could be dealt with accordingly.
And at the end of the 8th day, God looked down upon the earth and saw that it was good. But was God happy? No! God was still not happy! Because in the course of his labors, he had forgotten one thing. He did not have a Marine uniform for himself! But he thought about it, and thought about it, and finally satisfied himself in knowing that, well, not everybody can be a MARINE!
