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You asked for it...you got...A deployment day for a P-3 PPC...

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zab1001

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pilot
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DAY 1- FLIGHT DAY

0300- Wake up in hotel room/BOQ room/strange closet-like 'quarters'/or tent. Stumble, try to figure out where you are and why.
0330- Aircrew bus picks up officers (3 pilots, 2 NFOs) at quarters. Silent nods and occasional grumbles as you admit to yourself that you are going to spend the next 16-18 hours with these guys AGAIN.
0335- PITCH BLACK RIDE, TOP SPEED. Someone farts on the bus. blame nugget 3P
0340- Pick up enlisted aircrew at their quarters (2 flight engineers, 2 acoustic operators, 1 radar operator, 1 in-flight-technician).
0345- Pick up today's in-flight meal: MREs...great...save me a good one...
0355- Arrive at Hangar. FE's and IFT go to 'read the book', or bookS, as most aircraft will have at least 2 if not 3 ADBs...
0400- Tactical Brief. Watch former VP Pilot or NFO on a hard-fill billet shore tour drone on and on in a monotone voice about your mission details. See the dark circles under his eyes, witness his nicotine-yellowed fingers, his cheesy-milky substitute teacher coffee breath...remind self to not end up here....(DISCLAIMER: TSC guys...I KEED I KEED). Realize you have written half the brief all over your hand with pen you stole from your TACCO.
0430- 3P and NAVCOMM struggle for 45 min to get crypto load, paper and electronic, straightened out. PPC and TACCO read the ADB, or fight with aircrew to read the ADB. 2P drives to base ops/tent to file, get weather, flirt with cute 2nd LT metro chick. She is not impressed with his pit-stained flightsuit and 5 o'clock shadow...but i digress....
0500- Pre-flight in full swing. It is a full 30 degress colder in tube than it is outside. Nothing works. ATs utilize every method they know to get gear running, including steel toes, duct tape, ice bags, rosary beads. All 4 props are leaking and look suspicious. Salty-Dog Flight Engineer older than you wipes them off, winks, and says "Looks good". You grimace.
0630- Somehow everything works. Crew conducts "Planeside Brief"....inside the plane (never could figure that one out). Someone farts. Blame 3P.
0640- Last walkaround for PPC. Weapons secure, gear pins removed....oh there's my coffee cup...on the mainmount...
0700- Wheels up. Unbelievable. Nothing wrong....yet.....hold breath. Transit to onstation. Talk about hot famous chicks on ICS with aircrew. See storms ahead. Grimace. Wish you could still smoke in the flight station....
1000- Begin Tactical mission....CLASSIFIED...(ASW/ASUW/SUCAP/ISR)...count on things breaking...200 feet prosecution...radar fails, but comes back...tube fills with gunpowder smoke from buoys...acoustic operator vomits...3P farts...radios die 5 times...rpm flux...drink too much coffee...eat the last MRE crew left for you, the hot dogs....
1500- Go home. worry about fuel. "will we have on-top???". Aircrew sleeps while you let 2P and 3P drive the bus. Attempt nap on radar cabinet. Think about effects of radiation on nads....
1800- Land. With perfect gas...on deck with 8K. FE pats self on back. Put plane to bed, de-brief.
2000- Friday night where-ever you are. Find booze, find fun, sneaky if need be. Drink. Smoke cigarettes. B*tch about each other, admit you are having time of your life. Sleep later.

Web-Monster...er Master...feel free to ad/edit as you see fit

(and "time til someone b!tches about VP" clock hack....NOW)

COMING SOON....DAY 2...."THE READY"....
 

DairyCreamer

Registered User
When I get in down the line, I can only hope to know someone with the sense of humor you have. That is the most hilarious post I've read in ages.

Radiation and nads... now there's one I havn't thought of yet. Awesome!

~Nate
 

zab1001

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pilot
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Having a sense of humor will save all of you a lot of headaches when you get to the fleet. The BS piles up quick, and it rolls downhill to you: the Junior Officers of the squadron. If you can't laugh at the funny stuff and smile at the not-so-funny, you will end up hating your time in. Remember, the WORST day in an aviation squadron is better than any day as assistant manager at TGIFriday's.
 

Fly Navy

...Great Job!
pilot
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zab1001 said:
Remember, the WORST day in an aviation squadron is better than any day as assistant manager at TGIFriday's.

Amen!

10 chars...
 

wink

War Hoover NFO.
None
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Nice zab. Time to throw that together AND come up with another avatar. Seriously though, did you notice that the TACCO was more than happy to help out his 2P with a pen and still got the entire brief without writing down a darn thing. I have to admit, even VP NFOs are all that!!
 

zab1001

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pilot
Super Moderator
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I was notorious for forgetting our callsign.

"Redcrown, this is.....uh.....standby...."
 

PropStop

Kool-Aid free since 2001.
pilot
Contributor
well this certainly fires me up! I keep hearing that deployments are lots of work but also lots of fun. knowing you won't be landing on a boat has really gotta improve things.

you know, i never experienced the plane being COLDER than the outside, but our AC worked only so-so in Jax. Whidbey should prove to have better AC characteristics :D

thanks for the post!
 

zab1001

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pilot
Super Moderator
Contributor
PropStop said:
well this certainly fires me up! I keep hearing that deployments are lots of work but also lots of fun. knowing you won't be landing on a boat has really gotta improve things.

you know, i never experienced the plane being COLDER than the outside, but our AC worked only so-so in Jax. Whidbey should prove to have better AC characteristics :D

thanks for the post!

Knowing you aren't going to the boat is one thing. Knowing you will be landing best case at mins, max xwind, wet/icy/snowy/sandy runway after a 10 hour tactical hop is another. Happens A LOT (Kadena/Oman anyone?) Sometimes a big plane is fun...sometimes it isn't. Fuel planning and on-tops are key.

As far as the temp thing goes, just wait until the desert/Diego. Then you'll get it.
 

zab1001

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pilot
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And after re-reading/considering your post, I get your point. Yes, going back to a real room after a mission rocks, as do o'club/beer tent/drinks in a lounge privileges.
 

UncleFester

Hummer NFO To Be Reckoned With
or flying the mighty Warhummer. only 5.0 hr missions, but you still get to sit and wonder about the 1MW transmitter 15 feet above your head... then you get midrats dog on the boat!
do you know Todd Jacobs? west coast (Hawaii) P-3 guy? out in Japan now, i think.
 

zab1001

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TJ and i were in the same winging class and RAG class. Funny guy.
 
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