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Who pins the wings at winging Ceremony? Wife or Dad?

Discussion in 'Main Forum' started by funnygirl3, Aug 24, 2013.

  1. funnygirl3

    funnygirl3 New Member

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    I am just curious, when it comes time for the winging ceremony, if a former pilot dad wants to put the wings on his son, should the wife feel upset? Aren't the pins usually placed by a wife or fiance? What do you think? Should the wife get over it and allow the aviator's dad to put the wings on or should the husband tell the dad that he wants his wife to put the wings on?
     
  2. Flash

    Flash SEVAL/ECMO Super Moderator None Contributor

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    Is this a trick question? Bcause I have a sneaking suspicion you want to hear one answer and not the other.

    To be frank it is whoever the wingee wants to have them pin them on. My two cents, I think it would be more significant if the Dad did it especially if he was a Naval Aviator himself and my wife would have likely understood if that had been the case for me and she was around then. If it is going to cause that much trouble though why not have them both do it? Has anyone ever seen that done?
     
  3. funnygirl3

    funnygirl3 New Member

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    Thank you for your input. I have not seen this done before but if it got to that point I think one or the other would have already backed down. So you don't think it would be a slap in the face to the wife or make her feel less appreciated?
     
  4. Flash

    Flash SEVAL/ECMO Super Moderator None Contributor

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    It depends on the husband and wife. Mine would have likely been cool with my Grandfather (WWII USAAF pilot and my original inspiration to fly) pinning my wings on it if they had both been around at the time but I know other wives that would have flipped out if they weren't able to. If my wife was that hard up about pinning though I would defer to her since she is the one I am currently sharing my life with, if I had been forced into that type of decision by either party though I would have resented it. Have you considered that might be the result in this case if his hand was forced by one or the other?

    It is HIS day and it should be HIS choice, whoever pins them on would be honored to do so and whoever doesn't should be proud of HIS accomplishment and the fact they are able to share the day with him and see the culmination and recognition of HIS hard work. Both should respect HIS decision, period.

    Reason #431 to wait to get married, or in Brett's case just not do it at all. ;)
     
    707guy likes this.
  5. villanelle

    villanelle Nihongo dame desu Contributor

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    Up to the wingee. So yes, the wife should "get over it", it that's what the pilot wants. Even if he wants it because his dad is making a big deal out of it, it's his decision and he's welcome to use whatever criteria he wants, even if that criteria is bowing to pressure from dad.

    It might well be perceived as a slap in the face to the wife and might make her feel less appreciated, but that's on her. And doesn't bode well for the future.

    DH's winging happened in a blur. (He volunteered to be winged at NHA because it was near our family's hometowns, so he didn't wing with his class and we had a crazy quick move.) I hadn't though to ask him, and when he went up there, I asked his mom if she wanted to do it. She quickly and adamantly deferred to me (fiancee at the time), which I suspect would have been what he wanted as well, so I did it.

    Really, if you (er...global "you") don't do it, what does it matter? Does it make your contributions to the process any less (or any greater if you do pin)? This moment isn't about you--not even a tiny little bit. Let him choose, and when you ask what he wants (if you have to ask; maybe it is already clear), do it in a way that makes it very clear you are open to his decision and that makes it very easy for him to give you an honest answer. Let him know you are fine with whatever he decides (and try your hardest to actually mean that) and that you respect his decision and are proud of him, no matter what.
     
    Flash likes this.
  6. RedFive

    RedFive Active Member Contributor None

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    My wife was in Afghanistan, so my Dad pinned mine. Be happy that both wife and dad get to attend at all.
     
  7. Renegade One

    Renegade One Well-Known Member None

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    Well, it's your choice…as others have said. Luckily, there are two...count 'em…TWO prongs on a set of wings, so you could actually have Dad and spouse "co-pin" you. I'm sure it's been done before.

    Me? If my Dad were a former pilot, I'd go that way. Call it a "legacy" thing. Wife will have many, many (hopefully) opportunities to pin on new rank insignia over the years.

    Need a "tie-breaker"?:
    1. How long has your wife been your biggest supporter/cheerleader?
    2. How long has your Dad been your biggest supporter/cheerleader/role model/mentor/ hero/the guy who played catch with you/the guy who taught you how to drive/the guy who…well...you get the idea. :)
     
  8. ChunksJR

    ChunksJR Student. Again. :) Contributor None

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    Well, of course both can tack 'em on. I keed, unfortunately.
     
  9. Fallonflyr

    Fallonflyr Active Member

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    Who paid for your college?
     
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  10. BusyBee604

    BusyBee604 St. Francis/Hugh Hefner Combo! Super Moderator Contributor None

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    Just a thought... who pinned on the Enswine bars at commissioning? If it was Dad/Mom, then maybe they would be cool with Fiancee/Wife pinning on wings, or vice versa. Either way, it would be useful OJT for "diplomacy" on 'wingee's' part!;)
    BzB
     
  11. BlkPny

    BlkPny Registered User None

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    When my daughter winged and my son winged, it was really meaningful for me to pin on my original set of wings. At the time(s), however, they were both single. Had either one been married and wanted a spouse to pin on the wings, it would have been fine with me.
    As an easy compromise, have the spouse pin on the dad's original set of wings. Covers all the bases.
     
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  12. ea6bflyr

    ea6bflyr Working Class Bum Super Moderator None Contributor

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  13. picklesuit

    picklesuit Shit, I'm lost again... Contributor None

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    Your Dad raised you to be the person you are, your wife is only a short lived addition to the equation. I'd have your Dad tack them on...

    And, if he has any sense of history, they WILL be tacked on. (He's not subject to UCMJ, what can they do?)

    Mine were "forcefully attached" by my father and the senior leadership in attendance merely smiled and we proceeded to drink.

    Pickle
     
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  14. villanelle

    villanelle Nihongo dame desu Contributor

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    I may have drawn a wee pit of blood with Husband's. I thought he deserved the tradition, even if it had to from me. The face on the Admiral presiding over the ceremony was priceless.
     
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  15. Spartan43

    Spartan43 Friendly New Guy None

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    I believe funnygirl is the wife in question
     

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