Wed over xmas leave in Intermediate?

[BurghGuy]

How long do guys in Intermediate get for December Holiday leave? The reason I ask is that my fiance and I are trying to set a date (finally), that wouldn't involve me waiting to finish flight school in two years. Right now I'm right outside the starting gate for API, I class up beg/mid Feb, and judging by how the pipelines been flowing right now, I should be about 2 months into intermediate at that time. Any thoughts would be great.

 

[HH-60H]

I wouldn't make any plans based on when you should be in intermediate. There are so many variables that you could very well be in the middle Primary still. If you want to get married during Dec of next year you probably need to get the gouge for Primary and Intermediate.
I got married in the RAG and it was tough to try to pick some date where I might be finished with the RAG and enroute to the squadron, in fact it was impossible. We finally just picked a day (I ended up still in the RAG) and asked for leave, I only took about a week off, and easily caught up to my classmates in the syllabus.

 

[Gatordev]

First up, there is no Intermediate anymore. It's all Primary or Advanced (or whatever the Jet guys call their special program). Second, 2 months is waaaaaaaaay optimistic. HH-60H is right on, it's impossible to try and plan it that far out. Just shoot for a weekend, and you'll probably get a 96. If you wait until the RAG, they might give you a week.

 

[KBayDog]

If I were you...

...I would hold off on setting a date. At this stage of the game, you don't know where you are going to be or what you are going to be doing next week, nevermind next year. Heck, you saw how folks on this board (who are in the "flying" part of flight school) had to wait until pretty much last week to find out what this Christmas leave dates were going to be!

If she is "the one," she'll be there after you get winged, and you can set a date for when your future is a little less "week by week." I would wait until my future was somewhat certain, and when I'd have time to immediately take her on a nice honeymoon (trust me, it is worth it). Your wedding is not something you want to squeeze in during a long weekend, if you have the option.

It sucks, but even in the benign world of the training commands, schedules are day-to-day. I'm not there yet, but it sounds like the RAG is the time to do it. The nature of Primary and Advanced (the pace, and the fact that you are basically just a "number") does not give you the flexibility you need.

(Nobody read into the "number" comment - training is professional, and you are an individual, but let's face it: When there are hundreds of students that need to be trained in a relatively short time, the staff can only help you out so much.)

 

[NavyWife2001]

If you want to get married, just do it! If you keep waiting and waiting that isn't fair to either of you! Yes, you will miss birthdays (done that) anniversary's (yep, done that too), holiday's (yes, but just a minor one), oh and a birth (almost both of them).
The thing is if you 2 love each other get married. Life is to short to just wait around for "perfect timing". There is never a "perfect" time for anything.

 

[ChunksJR]

My .$02...

While my heart concurs with NavyWife2001, there's also the fact that no one on this board knows your fiancee. My wife, for example, had been dreaming of the big wedding, 2 weeks of honeymoon, all that jazz etc, since she was 2.

Don't bank on wait times between schools. Also, don't bank on staying up every day until then (sicknesses) or that the weather of PCola will cooperate for weeks at a time.

Keep Catastropic health insurance (if she's not already covered) for her and have her go to planned parenthood for her annual checkup (if you're tight on $$ and not already covered) if you are morally/religiously/generally (or all 3) opposed to a Justice-of-the-Peace (this will also get you more money...not that that's a good reason to do it, but the latter mentioned items are...).

If she's like my wife, she'll appreciate the wedding you can THEN plan and have at your first squadron. I got in touch with my future squadron's OPSO while I was still in the RAG/FRS and cleared it with him. Then as a wedding gift, my CO gave us 21 DAYS of BASKET leave for the wedding, planning and honeymoon...It was awesome. That's the kind of flexibility that you'll get once you get out of orange and whites...and to me it was worth the wait.

And above all...TALK about it with her! Communication...most important CRM skill.

~D

 

[Kathy]

The RAG isn't necessarily the perfect time either depending on what you are looking for. The P-3 RAG only gives Friday-Monday leave for weddings, so if you want to take your honeymoon immediately, you're out of luck.

 

[Brett327]

If you want to get married, just do it! If you keep waiting and waiting that isn't fair to either of you! The thing is if you 2 love each other get married. Life is to short to just wait around for "perfect timing". There is never a "perfect" time for anything.

Frankly, that's the kind of reckless attitude that contributes to the high divorce rate in this country. Would you offer that same advice to two 18 year olds, or a couple who has only known eachother for two weeks? I'll counter with a little more common sense (hang on ladies) approach: If you really love eachother now, then waiting for when the circumstances are more convenient (I.E. not in the middle of training) shouldn't matter. What's the big rush - love endures, right?

Brett

 

[NavyWife2001]

Brett, Are you even married? Divorce rates have NOTHING to do with how long you have known each other at all! How many couples got married during WW2 on a whim and stayed married till they both died. It CAN be done. It is work, noone said marriage is easy. BTW, you can know someone for years before you marry and then they still get divorced. It is all in the way you approach marriage. You have to know going in that you won't divorce (unless there is something super serious like abuse, etc.). There must be an unwritten rule that it just won't happen at whatever cost! Too many people go into a marriage thinking that "Oh, if it doesn't work out, then we can divorce". That is setting yourself up for failure. None of you get into a plane and think well if I stink today, then I can just eject. No, you do what you can every day to make sure you are performing at your best, you want to bring that plane back to the hangar/boat untouched and just as beautiful as it was when you left. Doesn't mean you will have perfect flights all of the time, but when there is some turbulence, you learn to cope and you learn how to handle the situation so next time it happens you are equipped. Same with marriage.

 

[NavyWife2001]

PS...Sad to say that James Carville is from my state. Great pic. LOL!

 

[rare21]

I got married by the JP a while back because I knew she was the one and the big wedding could wait. And its more sensible. If you and your fiance are together and she gets in some huge accident, the Navy pays for it. If you're not married you and her are pretty much on your own. Over a year after me and my wife were married she got injured and needed 2 surgeries (and more to come) on her foot which if we hadnt have been legally married we'd of had to have foot the bill. I cant even imagine what that would have cost.
Another story from a LCDR after I asked him if I should just get married:
A Navy couple married secretly so that their parents wouldnt know and planned a large big wedding afterwards. On the way to that wedding they both got into a car accident. The wife needed extensive brain surgery that would have cost an astronomical amount of money. Fortunately for them because they were already married it was completely paid for by the Navy. Its a choice I'm glad I made, i mean besides monetary issues its just much easier.

 

[Brett327]

Divorce rates have NOTHING to do with how long you have known each other at all!

Actually, they do, and so does the age at which people get married. The National Center for Health Statistics has some great data on this - facts, not opinion. I urge you to educate yourself. The national average for first marriages is now 28 - why rush it?

You have to know going in that you won't divorce. There must be an unwritten rule that it just won't happen at whatever cost!

The height of naiveté. Everyone says that, but the statistics tell you that more than 1 in every 2 marriages will end in divorce. That means you are more likely to get divorced then stay together. The notion that you can avoid divorce by simply willing it away with a positive attitude is also naive and immature. I'm not suggesting that no one get married, just that they do it responsibly and armed with all the information (and a prenup - just an opinion).

 

[NavyWife2001]

Are you even married? If you aren't you haven't a clue. Statistics aren't always true and if you rely on that for life choices you have a lot to learn, young grasshopper.

 

[Brett327]

Are you even married? If you aren't you haven't a clue. Statistics aren't always true and if you rely on that for life choices you have a lot to learn, young grasshopper.

Young grasshopper, I doubt it. Your reliance on emotion and illogic in the face of facts suggests that you're beyond help. The information I post is for those that can appreciate it and benefit.
Feel free to ignore everything I say. :icon_boun

Brett

 

[NavyWife2001]

Since you have avoided the "are you married question" I would guess you aren't. When you do get married then maybe you can give advice!