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Taking leave during primary?

Donald Auld

Member
Hello all,

I am headed to OCS within the month and I have also asked my girlfriend to marry me! Lots of big changes in the coming months.

My fiancé and I are trying to get the wedding date nailed down and I am curious if we shouldn't hold off major decisions at least until I get out of OCS and the future is a bit more clear.

Any suggestions?

The date we are currently looking at would be right in the middle of primary training, so I was hoping someone could shed some insight on taking time off during primary. Is your training just put on hold? or are you literally falling further and further behind each day you take off?

Any insight on this situations would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
 

picklesuit

Dirty Hinge
pilot
Contributor
It's usually allowed for family stuff, depends on the squadron. Best on a four day weekend.

If you are certain you are getting married, you are losing money on BAH, DLA, FSA, and health care costs every month you delay.

Go to a justice of the peace or courthouse and knock it out now and bank.

Also, get a prenup. Seriously. Nothing will destroy your life faster than a pissed off dependapotamus with access to your financial and personal info.

Get a prenup.

That is all,
Pickle
 

SynixMan

HKG Based Artificial Excrement Pilot
pilot
Contributor
What Pickle said. If you're married before OCS you'll get BAH while you're there, plus guaranteed follow on orders to Whiting. Oh, and if something bad happens, she'll be at least partially cared for. The Navy gives zero fucks about girlfriends. You don't have to tell family.
 

Donald Auld

Member
Haha, I'm not sure if you coined dependapotamus, but that is pretty AWESOME!!

We are actually getting married in a few weeks, but the official ceremony will take place in the coming summer. I'm just trying to make sure I don't screw my training schedule up. Seeing as we will have been married for months the actual ceremony date is flexible, but will still require planning months prior. Which is proving difficult with so much unknown in my future.

I'm also curious how exactly I should bring up the Prenup issue. I'll probably just be straight forward and say, "A guy named Pickle told me we should get a prenup." I think that's a winner!
 

Flash

SEVAL/ECMO
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
All but one of my friends in the military got married before their wedding 'ceremony', I did as well. Makes everything legal and will ensure your wife is good no matter what happens to you.

As for the prenup....unless you have significant assets prior to your marriage I am not sure it is worth it. Many states have divorce laws that will ensure things are divvied up a certain way (California - Community property, Virginia - Set formula/amount for child support, etc) and I am not sure a prenup would help much if at all if you don't have squat to begin with. I am not sure the things that are likely to be most valuable can be covered by a prenup like your retirement. If you already have significant assets then it may be a different story but it probably isn't worth the money otherwise.
 

Donald Auld

Member
Thanks for all the insight! However, I'd like to ask again, will taking leave for the official wedding ceremony hinder my progress during primary?
 

villanelle

Nihongo dame desu
Contributor
The thing is (and I'm speaking here as a lowly dependapotamus), leave isn't going to be guaranteed. Husband and I married during the FRS, which seems to me like just about the ideal time. But someone pissed off someone, and there was *no* leave being granted, which was unexpected. However, while it was unexpected, it wasn't a complete shock. We chose a 3 day weekend for exactly that reason. I'd encourage you to do the same. I'd also encourage you to talk with your fiance about the reality of Navy life. That's how it works. To paraphrase the Jews, Man plans and Navy laughs. Plan it so that if you have to fly out Friday night and meet up with her (hopefully making the rehearsal dinner, but who knows?), and then you have to return to work on Tuesday, you can make that happen. Our ceremony was close enough that Husband drove up from the FRS and just made it to the rehearsal, but I'd prepared to video it it with a stand-in so he knew where to stand. It was stressful, but that's far from the last time we've had that kind of uncertainty c/o the Navy.

You said it's proving difficult to pick a time with all this uncertainty, but that's how you do it--you make sure you need as little from the Navy as possible, and you are much more likely to get it. You can always ask for more time if command policy and your progress allows it. But make the plan such that you don't need anything more than no flight on Friday night so you can catch a flight, and no flights or duty over a holiday weekend. If you can get a couple days before and after, great. I would consider getting time for a long (week or more) honeymoon to be a dream. Prepare now for that. If that dream happens to come to fruition, great, but prepare yourself for a few days off, at best, and you (probably) won't be disappointed.

No one can tell you now whether you will be in a position to get time off. That's not the way this works. You and she are going to have to get used to that ASAP or there will be a lot of pain, and perhaps all this cynical conversation about pre-nups and community property will end up being relevant. Nature of the beast, I'm afraid.
 

Donald Auld

Member
Well I'm certainly happy to have heard the dependapotamus's perspective! In all seriousness, thank you very much for your post. It is a great help!
 

Surf

Well-Known Member
pilot
As someone who is also recently engaged and planning a wedding, aim for a holiday weekend (Memorial Day, July 4th etc..). In my limited experience here in the VT's, STUCON is willing to work with you for something as big as your own wedding. However,make sure to inform your class advisor and the STUCON clerks immediately on check in. Also, don't expect a big honeymoon, that would work best in between Primary and Advanced before you class up. Best of luck at OCS. It's "fun".:rolleyes:
 

Uncle Fester

Robot Pimp
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
It's usually allowed for family stuff, depends on the squadron. Best on a four day weekend.

If you are certain you are getting married, you are losing money on BAH, DLA, FSA, and health care costs every month you delay.

Go to a justice of the peace or courthouse and knock it out now and bank.

Also, get a prenup. Seriously. Nothing will destroy your life faster than a pissed off dependapotamus with access to your financial and personal info.

Get a prenup.

That is all,
Pickle

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zippy

Freedom!
pilot
Contributor
Willingness to grant leave to primary students is largely dependent on how far behind in production a squadron is, and the CO/XOs personal opinion on what to grant leave for.

I've seen a blanket policy of no holiday leave for those pre-solo and no leave for weddings for students during periods of time while I was an IP. I've seen guys get scheduled for events in the morning on a Friday when their wedding is in the afternoon. It's not common, but it becomes so when squadrons feel more desperate during an X crunch.

Your safest bet is plan on having the wedding on a Saturday of a 3 day weekend, and don't plan on all of your primary buddies being able to get time off to go if you're not having it in town in Pensacola.
 
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