No apolgies required - you gotta remember that A4's is a just a crotchity old man who has been "stunned" one too many times.
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Personal Statement
- Thread starter mblanche
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No apolgies required - you gotta remember that A4's is a just a crotchity old man who has been "stunned" one too many times.
WVUBetaHornet
Sweep the leg..
A4s...It often helps to have friends before seeking advice from one...
/end teasing rant
What some folks are trying to say (IMO) is: the "personal statement" is a reflection of your professional attitude, confidence and just plain "how hungry" you are. I have sat on many boards to recommend enlisted folks for OCS, STA-21, LDO/CWO, etc and I can tell you that their personal statement tells me a lot about who and what they are. Often, I think to myself, that a statement I'm reading is not the way I would have expressed the same sentiment, but it's powerful, genuine and "personal." When I read your personal statement, I want it to match the "look in your eye" and the "fire in your belly." Make sense ???
Right, but it still doesn't hurt to have someone look over your statement. That's why we have drafts, redrafts and rewrites. I've always asked for advice on English papers. I've drafted speeches and I'd get critiqued on it where I'd have to defend what I wrote, why I used certain words, etc. It helps to have that, whether is a personal statement or an English paper.
Some folks may not need it, good for them. Others do need it. We're all different. Nobody is asking someone else to write the statement for them. We're just asking for some advice as to how to make it stand out, based on what the Board is looking for.
I don't know. Maybe I'm crazy.
And therein lies the rub. The board wants to see "how you stand out", not the collaborative efforts of your prose.
This has always been a contentious issue on this board, and you will get LOTS of advice from both sides. The question is: what do you want the board to see?"
Here is something I used to help me write mine. Might come in handy for other people on here.
http://doni.daps.dla.mil/Directives...t Program and Techniques Services/5216.5D.pdf
http://doni.daps.dla.mil/Directives...t Program and Techniques Services/5216.5D.pdf
AND amazed, too .... you forgot that part ....No apolgies required - you gotta remember that A4's is a just a crotchity old man who has been "stunned" one too many times.
One has nothing to do with the other. Right or wrong has nothing to do with popular...but since you ask...no, I haven't.
Personally, I think asking for "assistance" on your personal statement not only short changes you (hijacking one of the boards best opportunities to get to see "you", as it were...) but is of "questionable" legality considering the instructions. Do it yourself.
No offense meant btw...lots of people disagree here...just my .02. I would say it might be wise for the powers that be to levy some sort of final word on these types of requests to prevent them from turning into a 10v10 furball...
No mistake made, no apology required nor desired .... you didn't "offend" me. Trust me; I've been "offended" by experts, and this wasn't "one of those" times .....
I realize I don't count in the greater scheme of things; I'm just trying to suggest what will do you the most good in the long run. I want YOU to be the best --- and do the best --- that YOU can do. Not a community of efforts .... just yours. Like someone said, it's a "personal" statement; the Board wants to hear YOUR thoughts and look into YOUR head ....
You'll be a better man/woman for it ....
When the shit hits the fan in the military or in civie street, and you have to react and make decisions -- maybe life & death ones at that --- you usually do not have the luxury of consulting with a panel of "collaborative experts" .... YOU have to do it and get it done.
"Do-er's" .... men and women capable of individual initiative and creative thinking followed by positive action leading to a successful conclusion. I think that's what the Navy is looking for in it's Officer Corps .... at least, one would hope ???
Spekkio
He bowls overhand.
As long as people don't give him advice like "say that you have XYZ traits because the board likes people who say that," I don't see a problem. Most people are looking to have their personal statements edited for grammar and clarity. It's a very smart thing, too, because 75% of people coming out of college can't write worth a shit.
WVUBetaHornet
Sweep the leg..
62% of all percentages are made up 100% of the time.
Spekkio
He bowls overhand.
Yea, I made it up. I teach part-time at the high school level, and my mother teaches at the masters level. The difference between the average student essay, other than length, is marginal. Both are often very poorly written.
You'd be surprised how many junior and senior year students I encounter who don't even know all the parts of speech, let alone how to correctly write parallel structure and keep essays in the active voice.
You'd be surprised how many junior and senior year students I encounter who don't even know all the parts of speech, let alone how to correctly write parallel structure and keep essays in the active voice.
MasterBates
Well-Known Member
Injineers dount neid to have grammar or spellink pat doewn.
Not a criticism, just an observation.
75% you say ??? That's a gratuitous. catch-all excuse for losers.
BUT: that's why 95% (sic) of those coming out of college don't deserve a commission in the Navy. And we don't need 'em ....
They would NOT be a credit to our "race" ..... i.e., Naval Officers.
Right, I speak in the language of force, crystal lattices, thermodynamics and fatigue failure.
"You failed English? You SPEAK English!" -King of the Hill
I don't know the parts of speech, and I have written some pretty good stuff when it was required of me.
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