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Marriage at Flight School

SWACQ

Well-Known Member
pilot
Contributor
SWACQ: no you don't have to tell me, I got that one figured out.
Swanee & SynixMan: Right now I am trying to get selected for OCC-207 and "supposedly" API will start up soon after TBS because the pipeline should be up to par. Will there still be plenty of time no matter what? How much time is there from OCS to TBS? Is it even possible to get leave? Or is it just too much...

My last response was based on your question which nobody here can answer. Your instructors as TBS cannot answer it. You can call MATSG Pensacola and they cannot answer it. A lot can happen between now and when you get down there a year or more from now. And that includes both your own progress through OCC and TBS and possible changes to the Marine Corps force structure, etc, etc.

What kind of wedding are you trying to plan? Is this going to be a $50-100,000 extravaganza or a quiet wedding with a few friends at the base chappel? I personally got married at the base chappel on a weekend that worked for my wife and I and our parents flying in. This required no leave since Saturday was already a day off, and it was a relatively bland event.

As long as the Marine Corps holds the trump card and gets final say on what you are doing any given week or weekend, and by Marine Corps I really mean any officer with more rank than you but perhaps less empathy, common sense, or understanding of your situation, you are not in full control of life events. As long as you understand that, and more importantly, your fiance understands that, you can still manage to plan a nice wedding in advance. You just have to be prepared to lose money on deposits if the date needs to change, or inconvenience family and friends who may have tickets purchased, etc.

I would suggest that the safest bet would be to plan a wedding in P'cola, but even that is a crap shoot, because you could be rolled from one TBS class to another, or depending on the API wait you be kept in Quantico or stashed elsewhere.

Perhaps the best option is the very common secret ceremony in Pensacola by a Chaplain or Justice of the Peace that gets you married, benefits, and living together and then you do a big fancy wedding for the family at a later more convenient date. The family may or may not know about the first wedding.
 

ChunksJR

Retired.
pilot
Contributor
Perhaps the best option is the very common secret ceremony in Pensacola by a Chaplain or Justice of the Peace that gets you married, benefits, and living together and then you do a big fancy wedding for the family at a later more convenient date.

Most important benefits of medical coverage in case something happens. But be careful as some religions (Catholic, especially) may not marry you if you get married before being "Married before God."

My fiancee and I got married after flight school. If you're a helo/P-3 bubba it'll only be a year or 1.5 yrs at most from Primary to Wings. We got catastrophic medical insurance @ $250/month and prayed. She went to Planned Parenthood for Birth Control. It worked out.

In hindsight, we should have just gone Justice of the Peace like everyone else did, but oh well. At least we didn't have any guilt checking "are you married now? / NO" on the Catholic questionnaire...
 

VINNYNY

New Member
Q. Should you get married at flight school?
A. No.

Q. Why not?
A. While it's possible that your new wife will bring all of the benefits cited above, it's an absolute certainty that you will not be able to concentrate 100% on successfully completing flight school if you get married during the program. Let's assume the best-case scenario...

No matter how much planning you've already done for your wedding, you're not really done planning your wedding until you return from your honeymoon. You don't need any extra stress while you're here. All of the benefits mentioned should be available whether or not she's got a ring on her finger. If she won't wash your boxers and cook you dinner without a ring, then take her to Vegas and promise her a real wedding after you get your wings.

Great wives can handle lots of the support functions mentioned; however, even the best wives require maintenance. They need time and attention that will be in short supply as you struggle your way through the program. With the increased standards for pilots and NFOs, IFS and API are no longer the casual courses they once were. Flight school is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity--don't blow it on a wedding that can wait.
 

A4sForever

BTDT OLD GUY
pilot
Contributor
It doesn't matter whether or not you're married as a flight-STUD in the NAVAIRTRACOM ...

We had both ... bachelors & married guys w/w-out kids ... the ONLY difference seemed to be the married guys w/kids had a little more of a logistical problem finding a baby-sitter for those long, late-night parties ...


The difference in grades/flight school success was negligible ... anyone who says otherwise is either uninformed or a liar trying to justify something.
:)

Besides .... 50% of you will be divorced by the time you are 40 and 90% of you will be divorced if/when you get to "The SHOW" ... so don't sweat it.

Rock on ... :)
 

Rios

New Member
Quick question. Is there a break in the primary training schedule during Christmas/New Years? I was under the assumption that this may be a good time to take leave iot get married.
 

SynixMan

HKG Based Artificial Excrement Pilot
pilot
Contributor
Quick question. Is there a break in the primary training schedule during Christmas/New Years? I was under the assumption that this may be a good time to take leave iot get married.

NASC has a holiday stand down usually where one can take leave. Not sure about MATSG-21 though.
 

Swanee

Cereal Killer
pilot
None
Contributor
Quick question. Is there a break in the primary training schedule during Christmas/New Years? I was under the assumption that this may be a good time to take leave iot get married.

In VT-2 pre-solo students were only allowed a 72 for the Christmas and New Year weekends. I was in sims everyday between the two holidays.
 

cameron172

Member
pilot
Can't seem to find a better topic that addresses my question. I'm in HTs and plan to wing in July. The fiance and I are planning a November wedding. I should be well into the FRS and SERE complete. Is the FRS like the VT/HTs where taking two weeks of leave for a wedding and honeymoon is out of the question or are they typically more flexible than the training commands? The advice I got was to wait until after I wing but before I'm able to be deployed. Any wisdom to be passed along?
 

zippy

Freedom!
pilot
Contributor
Can't seem to find a better topic that addresses my question. I'm in HTs and plan to wing in July. The fiance and I are planning a November wedding. I should be well into the FRS and SERE complete. Is the FRS like the VT/HTs where taking two weeks of leave for a wedding and honeymoon is out of the question or are they typically more flexible than the training commands? The advice I got was to wait until after I wing but before I'm able to be deployed. Any wisdom to be passed along?

Unless your wedding is over the holidays, don't expect a long break of a wedding and honeymoon. You'll be a production # in the FRS, and then once you hit the fleet, your life will be driven by readiness quals. Plan around a 3 day weekend for the best chance of your wedding plans not getting thrashed by OPS.
 

cameron172

Member
pilot
Unless your wedding is over the holidays, don't expect a long break of a wedding and honeymoon. You'll be a production # in the FRS, and then once you hit the fleet, your life will be driven by readiness quals. Plan around a 3 day weekend for the best chance of your wedding plans not getting thrashed by OPS.
I'm planning it around Veteran's Day to minimize the amount of "flying days lost".
 

Gatordev

Well-Known Member
pilot
Site Admin
Contributor
I would plan on getting, at best, a 96. Worst case, you'll get a 72. Middle of the road is that they'll work with you and give you an event in the morning and give you a "80-ish."
 

villanelle

Nihongo dame desu
Contributor
It was a number of years ago, but Husband got exactly zero days of leave from the FRS for our wedding. (He could have gotten leave if he'd hard to travel outside the geographical boundary, but still would not have gotten any actual time off from scheduled workdays.) At the time, the squadron had put at word that basically, no one would be granted leave for anything short of emergencies.

We'd planned for that potential and picked a 3 day weekend. I had a stand in ready to go for the rehearsal (which would have been video taped for him so he knew the order of things and where to stand when), but he drove up after work on Friday and just made it. Wedding Saturday, hangover Sunday, things newlyweds do on Monday, and Monday night we drove back so he could be back at work on Tuesday.

I'd try to plan something close to your FRS location so you don't have to deal with flights, and then look at this a good chance for the li'l lady to practice the much-needed skills of patience, compromise, and flexibility.

Still, I'd agree that doing it during the FRS is probably your best bet unless you are interested in a quick, low-key affair that can be planned on a very short notice.
 

CommodoreMid

Whateva! I do what I want!
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
Depending on your FRS you might be able to plan ahead from days that are designed as non syllabus event days for students. For VP MCS calendar there had days built in way ahead of time as staff days, etc, that might involve the instructors working, but not the students, and those days conveniently often fell on Mondays or Fridays. When you check in, go to your class leader and see if you can get ahold of those dates to give you some more flexibility. When I was in the RAG my roommate did exactly that and, knowing her situation, the staff worked with her and even got her an additional day so she basically got a 96 for the process. At the end of the day, you are a production number and if you're behind or something you might not get any special consideration, but your instructors are human and if you work ahead of the issue you might get a good deal.
 

Pags

N/A
pilot
I got married in the fleet as my squadron was better able to accommodate my wedding and honeymoon once my initial deployment was complete and I had over a year at home. They didn't have the same time to train/production constraints that flight school and the FRS do. I did, however, go to the courthouse and get a JP marriage prior to deploying.
 
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