Marriage at Flight School

[Johnny25]

I am a part of the STA-21 program, selected NFO, and I graduate next week. Although I do not yet have orders, I am told that I am expected to get them next week to report to Pensacola by Feb. 4th. With all of the uncertainty that the flight training pipeline was going through, I planned my wedding for April 30th about 7 months ago. If I do report in Feb. there is a good chance I will be in API during the wedding. I was wondering what the chances of getting even one day of leave off during the pipeline were?

Also, how backed up is the pipeline still? My friend reported December 3rd as a pilot and said he does not expect to start at least until the end of the month. Is this due to the holidays?

 

[C420sailor]

Don't do it.

But if you must, talk to Flight Management when you check in. They'll probably be able to work some scheduling magic so you can cash in your balls...err I mean get hitched.

 

[MIDNJAC]

I'll second that. Trying to mix flight school with being a newlywed is a challenge. I was in my final months of advanced, bouncing for the boat, doing multiplane onavs and ACM when I was freshly married. It was definitely a challenge for both of us. Just my .02, even if you didn't ask for it

 

[SynixMan]

It's very possible, at least before API. Just mention it right away at checkin, in public if you want to be ridiculed, or private if not. Don't expect a month off for a wedding and honeymoon to Europe though. This officer thing ain't all Choker Whites and Dinings Out.

I'll let others speak to the virtues of getting married in flight school.

 

[nugget81]

There is no problem with getting married in flight school, especially right at the beginning. Marriage is a challenge--always has been, always will be. There is no "good time" to get married, so just do it when it feels right. As stated above, work with Flight Management to get that weekend off. Chances are you will be in A-pool sitting around doing nothing anyway. Or if you are classed up you'll probably get the Friday or Monday around that weekend off. Don't sweat it too much.

 

[Wudgles]

Don't do it.

Best. Advice. Ever.

Seriously, though, I would caution against getting married in flight school. I'm not married, and I've only been at NASC since September, but I sure as shit know that being hitched makes things a bigger pain in the ass. If you can wait, I highly suggest it. If you can't, put in a leave chit and make sure Flight Management is in the loop.

Oh, and during the Check-In Brief, they'll tell you to break up with girlfriends or fiances to make make your life easier...

 

[LFDtoUSMC]

Nugget, crazy post count for a thread about weddings. A sign maybe......

 

[AJB37]

Best. Advice. Ever.

Oh, and during the Check-In Brief, they'll tell you to break up with girlfriends or fiances to make make your life easier...

Wait... so I can use the excuse that I was ordered to do it as a way to break up with my fiancee... flight school is awesome

 

[Swanee]

Best. Advice. Ever.

Seriously, though, I would caution against getting married in flight school. I'm not married, and I've only been at NASC since September, but I sure as shit know that being hitched makes things a bigger pain in the ass. If you can wait, I highly suggest it. If you can't, put in a leave chit and make sure Flight Management is in the loop.

Oh, and during the Check-In Brief, they'll tell you to break up with girlfriends or fiances to make make your life easier...

How do you know? You aren't married.

If you marry the right person I think it makes things easier. I come home to someone that I don't work with, that has something to talk about other than work, and genuinely cares about how I am doing. My wife helps me study, (I made her EP cards; she will whip one out on me when I least expect it), I have home cooked meals, AND I let laid way more often than my single buddies (whose only female contact in Milton seems to be the bartenders or waitresses at Texas Road House on Saturday nights). She understands when I say, "Hey sweetie I know it's your birthday but I have to study for my checkride tomorrow, let's make up your birthday on Tuesday" just as much as she understands when I'm studying on my birthday. Or only taking 3 days of leave to see her family at Christmas. If you married the right person it won't be a problem at all. If you marry the wrong person it may suck.

 

[HAL Pilot]

^ So she's looking over your shoulder when you post?

 

[TexasZJ1]

I got married in advanced helos between the BI and RI sims....worst possible time. However, she knew th priority was to complete flight school and move on.

No problems.


Hunter

 

[81montedriver]

How do you know? You aren't married.

If you marry the right person I think it makes things easier. I come home to someone that I don't work with, that has something to talk about other than work, and genuinely cares about how I am doing. My wife helps me study, (I made her EP cards; she will whip one out on me when I least expect it), I have home cooked meals, AND I let laid way more often than my single buddies (whose only female contact in Milton seems to be the bartenders or waitresses at Texas Road House on Saturday nights). She understands when I say, "Hey sweetie I know it's your birthday but I have to study for my checkride tomorrow, let's make up your birthday on Tuesday" just as much as she understands when I'm studying on my birthday. Or only taking 3 days of leave to see her family at Christmas. If you married the right person it won't be a problem at all. If you marry the wrong person it may suck.

This is a very good point. Wives can be great study tools especially when it comes to EP's. I agree even more with the first statement he made which can apply to even more than marriage: you shouldn't talk about it if you haven't experienced it for yourself.

I was only married a few months when I got to API and after learning about the amount of studying that was going to be involved, I sat her down and explained to her just that. It doesn't mean that she won't bitch and moan every once in a while because wives can be human sometimes too, but overall she did very well.

Stu con should be able to accomodate you at least for the weekend, unless you luck out and get a 72 or 96 during API. The Christmas break fell right in between academics and water survival for me so I got a sweet week long honeymoon in Jamaica during that time, but that is certainly the exception. But mention it as early as possible and it should work out.

 

[Wudgles]

I've never cut my arm off, but I know life is easier with two arms vice one. That's sort of what I'm getting at with this: it's easier to worry about just myself than having to deal with the added stresses a new marriage brings. While I haven't experienced the joys of marriage, which I am in no way knocking, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that being single is easier during flight school. You're all correct that you have an incredible person to support you during the harder times, which I'm honestly envious of. However, I'm pretty sure it's easier to just worry about myself during an extremely hectic and pressure-filled time like flight school.

OP, I'm happy you found the one. If you're dedicated to it, things will work out. My comment was only geared towards what's easier logistically (with a little bit of hyperbole, no doubt). Best of luck in both endeavors.

 

[porw0004]

It's not that bad at all. Have a few babies while you're at it too! The single guys using their friend who picked up some white-trash redneck Pensacola bimbo looking for a meal ticket and married her as their example for not getting married have no idea. Personally, I suspect I've had an easier go of it. Having someone at home taking care of the house, laundry, and meals is a great load off the mind.

 

[villanelle]

I opened this thread because I am always entertained by the "Wives are the debil" posts that spring up when the topic comes up.

I am sure for some people, with some wives, that's true. If you have any tiny inkling that your fiance might be one of those wives, then the timing of a wedding isn't the decision you should considering; the selection of mate is. If she can't handle flight school with grace and ease, you're both screwed once you get to the fleet.

On the other hand, if you have the right relationship, there is no reason flight school should be any more difficult and in fact, I'd wager to say it might be just a touch easier. The Husband had someone to cook his dinner (okay, I nuked some Hot Pockets or boiled some pasta, that being the extend of my culinary prowess, but none the less...) and do his laundry and some housekeeping (to the my exactingly low standards, but again, it saved him washing his own towels and PT gear).

When he was around and not studying or otherwise busy on his own, we were either doing EP quizzes, or having sex. (And yes, occasionally those were combined. My teaching methods are unconventional, but effective.)

He didn't have to "worry" me. He said he was busy and I went and found something shiny to distract me. I had my own life, as much as anyone can have a life in the shithole that is Milton, and I knew he had other priorities so I made sure I had other things with which to occupy myself. If your wife is a a big girl (mentality, not size, I feel the need to clarify) and you are clear with her about what is at stake, then you've either chosen poorly, or you'll be just fine.