• Please take a moment and update your account profile. If you have an updated account profile with basic information on why you are on Air Warriors it will help other people respond to your posts. How do you update your profile you ask?

    Go here:

    Edit Account Details and Profile

Flight School...a spouse's point of view

Status
Not open for further replies.

e5b-wife

Registered User
Yeah, I'm following my hubby's lead on this one. But I thought some of ya'll that are just getting started might apprecite this side of things as much as the student's. For now I'm going to leave OCS and TBS out and just start with API.

I think maybe API was the hardest part for me. My husband studied more during API than any other part of flight school. He would come home and lock himself up in his office and study all day. Granted, he would take 15 minute breaks every so often and come play with our son. But even though he was at home, I felt like he was deployed sometimes. LOL From what I've heard from some other spouses their student pilots were the same way.

There were days that I got frustrated because I felt like I didn't have any help with the kid or the house, and I had no life of my own, blah, blah, blah. But it really wasn't that bad. We knew we were going to Corpus Christi for Primary so I knew I wouldn't be on my own forever. I think the hardest part of API for me was not living on base or near other spouses where I had some adult interaction. My personal opinion here is that if you're going to be at Whiting Field for Primary live in Milton, either in base housing or near it. That way you have a support group of other spouses that know what you're going through. It's a lot easier to enjoy flight school if you have friends that are all in the same boat.

So for API, expect lots of studying and lots of stressing about the many tests and quals but in the end if you stay calm and just tell your loved one that they'll do fine it will be easier for you both. Just try not to let their stress, stress you out.

Off to Primary......I thought Primary was pretty nice actually. OK, I'll admit Corpus Christi is kind of a ghetto as a town goes but it had its upside. We lived on base which was definitely the best thing we did. (BTW, the new housing there is absolutely spectacular!!!!!! If you go try for base housing, it's well worth it.) It's so much safer than living in town. The hubby did quite a bit of studying here too but it wasn't constant like API. And if he had a flight that day I could pretty well set my watch by it. 4-5 hours max and he was done, unless he was doing two flights or something. I decided to go back to work while we were in Corpus which made things fly by too. Mind you it was so hard to put my son in daycare but I discovered that the CDC (Child Development Center) on base was AWESOME. I can't say enough great things about them. It is difficult to find a job in Corpus at least one with decent pay. It took me about two months. I finally went through a temp agency which actually turned out to be great. It's a bit less stress. They found me a couple of long term temp jobs, one working as an Admin Asst. for Texas A&M and the other in a CPA's office. I'll admit I did miss being at home and being able to just hang out with the other wives or jump in the car and go to a movie on a whim but in the long run it made Primary more enjoyable for me. I think Primary was actually a lot of fun. But again the key is that you have to stay relaxed while your student gets all stressed out. But I think Primary was a lot less stressful. I know my husband really enjoyed flying the T-34. We really had a great time in Corpus. I think maybe the hardest part for me was when he selected. Of, course I think that's tough on the sudents too. It's hard to sit there and wait to find out where you're going and if you really have your heart set on one thing and don't get it that can be rough. My advice on that is to hope for the best but keep an open mind. We were lucky in that department and he selected his first choice. And they don't give you much time between Primary and Advanced to move. He selected Helos on April 15, we packed out on the 19th and left for Milton on the 20th, by the 21st we were in our house and got our household goods on the 22nd. It was a fast and furious move.

Advanced.......Again we lived in base housing, well worth it I think. The houses aren't as nice as the new ones in Corpus but they really aren't bad at all and they are being renovated. The community here is awesome. I would say that this is, next to Quantico, the friendliest community we have lived in. In the beginning, my hubby did a lot of studying, in the middle it was a lot of flying, and towards the end he studied and had to do a lot of planning for his flights. Sometimes, I am amazed at how well he did all of that with a 2 year old running around. Again, I decided to work while we were here. I had an easier time finding a job here. Fleet and Family Support was a huge help to me in finding a job. I did end up working in Pensacola but my drive wasn't that long since I was working on the Northeast side of P-cola. Oh, and we found out that I was pregnant about two days after we moved in to the house. (The baby was due on DEc. 23, he's UA now.....we're still waiting). Needless to say Advanced has been interesting especially when you consider Hurricane Ivan. Again working made the time go by a lot faster. But the community here is so nice that sometimes I felt I was missing out on so much with the other wives in the neighborhood. But I enjoyed my job and had a great baby sitter for my son so all in all there wasn't much to complain about. And most days the hubby was done before I got home and would study for a couple of hours and then go get the kiddo after he woke up from his nap. After the hurricane my job and the drive were too much to deal with at 7-71/2 months pregnant. So I quit and became a stay at home mom!!! I miss my paycheck but I have had such a great time since the beginning of October. I've been able to enjoy some time with my neighbors and make some great friends, I've had a lot of time to enjoy with my son since he won't be the only one soon, and I've been able to relax for the last trimester. My hubby finished his last flight on the 17th and I don't think it has sunk in yet. WOW, the last 18 months have whizzed by and I can't believe how much he has accomplished. I can't wait to see the Winging Ceremony!

I know that this was really a description of what life was like for me since API started. Hope ya'll don't mind me being so long winded. Now, I want to share just a couple of real thoughts on this whole process.
First, I have talked to other wives that are all stressed out and uptight about this process especially, if their husband is a study fiend and stress monster. Don't let it get to you. That only makes the whole process more stressful for him and you. Don't get me wrong, our service members do need to realize that this can be hard for us too but the best thing to do is stay relaxed. When he gets all stressed, just tell him all the things he's already gotten through and that you know he'll make it through. It really does help for them to hear that and then you'll find that they see your hardships too.
Secondly, for all of you who say I don't want to start a family until I'm done with flight school here's something you might want to think about. This is one of the only times in your career that you will be home more than not. Once you finish Advanced deployment is likely a little less than a year away. We found this to be an opportune time to have a baby. My husband gets to be here for the whole thing, the pregnancy, the birth and some time with the new one before he has to leave us for a time.
Of course, having a family is a personal choice and you have to do what you think is best for you and your spouse but it's food for thought.

Now, keep in mind I'm a military brat and now a military spouse so my opinions are definitely colored by that. This whole experience is different for everyone. I hope you all have as great a time as I have through this.
 

ben

not missing sand
pilot
Super Moderator
Contributor
I'll be the one going through flight school but I enjoyed your post nonetheless. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the fleet!
 

Pcola04/30

Professional Michigan Hater
pilot
Congrats on the second baby!!!

30 days restriction 1/2 months pay for 2 months and reduction in rate.......That will teach him (or her) to be U/A. :)
 

BigWorm

Marine Aviator
pilot
Hey, when the wife makes breakfast not only for her hubby, but another single dude stressed out over the aero 1 test, it's hard to make fun of the married life.
That was awesome, after our PT session, we had a couple hours until class - and she whipped up a mean breakfast!
 

ACurry

Thank God for Kidney Stone Medical Waivers
Great Post!!!! My Fiancé and I have been bouncing around the idea of getting married before API since the wait is so long and I'll be stashed in JAX. However, we'ev also considered to wait until I'm done with winging. Any Thoughts?
 

Pcola04/30

Professional Michigan Hater
pilot
Dont rush into marriage because of the training pipeline. I got married in primary....probably the worst place in the pipeline to get married, and it wasn't that big of a deal...... relatively painless....a week of leave will be granted with out anyone batting an eye, if you want longer you might run into trouble. I guess all I'm trying to tell you is dont think you have to get married now OR wait ~2 years until you are winged. Getting married while in flight school is not all that uncommon.
 

smittyrunr

Well-Known Member
pilot
Contributor
Personal experience- the middle of jet training is not the best time to get married, but it can be done. API probably not a good time- you won't get any extra time off. Plan for whenever YOU are ready to get married and the squadron will work with you wherever you are.
 

NavyWife2001

Registered User
Sounds like Primary to me too! We are at Vance and I practically never see my hubby these days! It is total 12 hour days and then more hours to study! We select and I cannot wait till May (I will be 5 months pregnant with our second baby)!
Congrats on getting this far and congrats on the baby!
 

Duff

Registered User
Does anyone know what getting leave to get married in the RAGs are like. My fiance and I were looking to get married around December, so we can incorporate Xmas leave with leave for the honeymoon, but I don't want to set plans in advance only to have the shot down when I get to the RAG.
 

Kathy

Reservist Wife
Contributor
My fiance is in the P-3 RAG and we're getting married in 4 weeks. They were told they normally give Friday - Monday off for a wedding. We're getting an extra day because we're getting married over Presidents' Day weekend, but we're definitely not getting enough time for a honeymoon. We'll be doing that after the RAG.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top