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essay help?

LetsFly

New Member
Hey all--

Sorry if these threads are annoying, but this site seems to be a great resource for Academy hopefuls. As far as the essay goes, any advice as far as grammar/material covered is greatly appreciated. Thank you!!


USNA​
As I raised my Scout Salute for the sixth year in a row, I realized something: I enjoyed dedicating myself to uniformed organizations, such as Boy Scouts and JROTC. As I participated in the weekly rituals for each group, I was able to feel the satisfaction of being part of something bigger than myself. I knew that my actions would, whether for good or ill, represent that larger organization. I also knew that it was likely that my uniformed deeds would influence someone, somewhere. Because of this, I learned to operate in an upright manner and cast away negative habits. Outside of the uniform, I excelled in and enjoyed my academics, particularly the math’s and sciences. My experiences in the classroom led to my interest in a top-ranked engineering school.

As I drew these pieces together, I discovered that the Service Academies were a perfect match for me. They offered unmatched educational programs, leadership opportunities, and the satisfaction of serving one’s country. I had a natural tendency to try to learn more about the Naval Academy because my father was a Marine Aviator, and grandfather a Surface Warfare Officer. Through my research, I discovered the summer seminar program. This past week, I was gifted with the opportunity to attend this program and experience the Academy. The friendships I formed, the educational opportunities I discovered, and most importantly, the ability to join the Armed Forces upon graduation were all key components leading to my conclusion that the Naval Academy was the place I wanted to spend my college years at – I truly felt at home there.

Soon after discovering the Service Academies, I realized I needed to push myself in every facet to be a competitive candidate. I sought out extracurricular activities, leadership positions, and studied hard. As this past year drew to a close, the eligible members of the junior class were inducted into the National Honor Society. Seeing an opportunity, I ran for, and was elected to, the position of president. It didn’t take long, however, for me to realize what I had gotten myself into. One hundred and eighty kids in my class now looked up to me as president of their Honor Society; if I so much as forgot to turn a homework assignment in, what kind of role model was I? This position forced me to behave in an upright manner in everything I did, and work to inspire all of my classmates to do the same. This responsibility has helped me to evolve as an individual and gain a passion for integrity and honor – I enjoyed being able to show my peers that honesty is a rewarding and worthwhile trait. I hope that becoming a Midshipman at the United States Naval Academy will help me to spread this passion, as well as fulfill my desire to serve a greater cause.

:)
 
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