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Enlisted to USNA c/o 2019

#1
Greetings all,

I'm working on my package for USNA c/o 2019 and I'm looking to get a bit of assistance. I'm an E-5 with just under 3 years of service and I'm about six months away from my 22nd birthday so this is going to be my first and final USNA application. I struggled academically in high school, due to equal parts laziness and my inability to see how those four years would affect my future, but I've done well so far in my military career and I hope that will be enough to at least capture the board members' attention, and possibly convince them to give me a shot. Included below is a draft of my personal statement and I would greatly appreciate any feedback you can provide.


Why USNA:

In my adolescent years, I was the “extra chair” at the family table. I wasn’t as academically successful as my siblings, and I didn’t give my parents anything to brag about. Although I was a good athlete and a strong team leader, I was an average student, destined for a mediocre life, at best. I knew that I needed to dramatically change my life. That change came in the form of the U.S. Navy.

My transition from the kid ignored at the kitchen table to the young man of whom my parents could be proud began with boot camp. I arrived with a firm confidence in my abilities and stood ready to accept any challenge. I was quickly selected for a collateral duty as a yeoman and was meritoriously promoted from E-1 to E-3 in recognition of skills and respect that I had earned. My enthusiasm for education grew, as evidenced by graduating, with honors, in the top five percent of A and C School.

My first and current tour of duty has been at Naval Computer and Telecommunications Station Bahrain. When I arrived, the command desperately needed SATCOM Supervisors. I recognized that such a position would present a unique career opportunity, allowing me to earn my seat at the highly coveted "head table.” I qualified as a supervisor within the first five months, which was sooner than was typical, and I was given the command of a six-person watch team. The Command recognized my leadership and technical abilities, and I was promoted to Petty Officer Second-Class as an "Early Promote" even though I had been in the Navy for only two years.

USNA will give me the exceptional opportunity to achieve my long-term educational and career goals. First, I can advance my computer and electrical engineering education, focusing on military applications. Notably, my instructors would be persons with first-hand knowledge of the systems for which I could someday be responsible. Second and maybe just as uniquely, I would have the incredible opportunity of four years of naval officer training by experienced officers whose primary focus would be leadership development. The career experience and opportunities gained so far in my career, coupled with Naval Academy experience, can only lead to success as a career-minded officer and, hopefully, to a vital position within the Command.

Character:

A person's sense of honor, courage, and commitment is rooted in his or her character. The earliest indicator of my character can be seen as a high school wrestler. Although I had been predicted to be a contender for a conference championship for my particular weight class, my coach asked me to drop to a lower weight class, with the hope of helping the team to a winning season. I agreed and the team prevailed. Although I forfeited the chance of being a conference champion, I was committed to my team's success and am a much stronger person for doing so. More recently, my fitness reports and accomplishments indicate that I have the character to be an outstanding midshipman and naval officer.
 

wink

VS NFO. Blue and Gold Off. Former Recruiter.
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#2
You may get specific feedback but consider it all a matter of tweaking. This is fine. Good luck to you. It sounds like you would be a fine officer candidate or midshipman. If the USNA doesn't work out make sure to pursue all other options available to you. Don't give up until you age out of all your options.
 
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