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Critiquing/input of DCO motivational statement

PRarce2

Member
Morning Air Warriors,
I am trying to write my motivational statement and would like your input/critiquing of it. I did a word limit/count of the APSR and since it is limited to viewing area that is about 1300 words. I have been trying to chop the words down while trying to get my point across. I was a 13 yr 8 mo AD1(AW) before I had to get out for Enlisted Review Board (ERB).

Just so you know I have no DUI's, ARI's, failed PRT's, or stagnated evals. the only thing was a med waiver due to 70% of my calf being burned. Sorry, I have to put that out there because first comment out of peoples mouths is, what did you do wrong.

I just affiliated with the reserves back in June and am trying to go for AMDO or Surface Warfare Office because I kind of like being a GM1 and working with CRS community, now that I have experienced it. Any comments, input, and critiquing of my motivational statement are greatly appreciated!
 

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  • Officer Write-up_original.docx
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FormerRecruitingGuru

Making Recruiting Great Again
For future reference there's already a "motivational statement thread" where applicants put up their motiv statement for chops....

Also, there isn't a DCO SWO reserve program...
 

inpassing

Member
I'm no expert in this field but one thing I would focus on is highlighting what aspects from your prior naval and present government position lend themselves to being an officer and demonstrate leadership experience, etc.
 

unbroken

Naval officer
How many words are you allowed? Our app for IWC allowed 500, and yours is twice as long. I would double check this.

To be direct, I would cut the fluff ("Once upon a time" sounds like a cover letter for a job at Disneyland, not an application for the US military).

And, finally, I would advise reaching out to a few people on here with your designator of interest, and asking them to review it, rather than post it on a public forum. My personal feeling is that you don't want a rough draft on your life's experiences and ambitions floating around out there. It's a small world, and you're probably best off discussing this in a more intimate setting, with a few folks who can ensure the review board only sees your best version once it's submitted.
 

ABMD

Bullets don't fly without Supply
The best advice I was given RE: Resume and Motivational Statement, quantify anything and everything. Managed people? If so, how many? Managed a budget? How much? Given financial authority (DoFA)? What was the limit? Managed a project? What was the project budget, how many people worked on the project (under your guidance), outcome?
 
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