Becoming a SWO, what to look forward to

[Matthew10]

So I am also listing SWO on my paperwork for the board. The main thing I am worried about is my family life. I don't mind putting in the work, training, etc. I've read some of the forums and notice that the amount of times you deploy is based on the ship you are with. I am just wanting to know will my family be able to come with me after I leave OCS to my training sites? Will they be able to come with me on different tours? (Including my dogs) . Has anyone else experience a time when you have to leave port in a foreign country and what did your wife do while you were gone? Was it a bad experience for her with you not there?

I understand I am joining the active duty Navy so please no lectures about how I should expect to deploy and things like that. I don't mind doing those things but I just want to ensure its family oriented and the lengths of time I can expect to be away.

 

[PenguinGal]

As the wife of a SWO, there are times when it sucks big time and times when it is so incredibly awesome words cannot describe it. For the most part your family will be able to move with you to various duty stations. I don't know what the SWO pipeline is like right now with regards to BDOC, SWOS, etc etc etc and so I won't comment on those. However, in and amongst those initial SWO courses you will be assigned to a ship for your DivO tours. Unless you get assigned a ship OCONUS and your wife/kids have a medical issue that would prevent them from being able to move with you (see references to EFMP, overseas screenings, and unaccompanied tours), they will travel to your duty station with you. That means that when your ship is in its homeport, you will be going home each night* (except duty nights and nights where you would get more sleep just staying on the ship e.g., INSURV prep) to her/them. When your ship is deployed, unless she/they manage to fly out to meet the ship in a port (it can be done but is a bit of a logistical nightmare. I did it once and that was enough, lol.) You won't see her/them until the ship returns home (see above "incredibly awesome words cannot describe it") While you are gone, those at home go on with their regularly scheduled lives: jobs, school, volunteering, housework, etc etc etc. Depending on the person and the duty station, sometimes it can be a bad experience. All wives have their own 'sea stories' of a duty station or deployment where life was pure and utter hell while the ship was gone. It isn't always a bad experience and quite often deployments can actually be a good thing for spouses! I know that I made several friends from the FRG/wardroom that I might not have met had the ship not deployed and I got active in those groups. Friends definitely make the experiences better!

Speaking of friends, it is a VERY small Navy. After a couple of duty stations you start to run into people again and again. For example, TrainO and family from USS Secondship of PenguinGuy lived 3 houses down from us when we moved to Monterey. We will all overlap in Newport for a month or so before they move to Norfolk and then we meet them there again several months later. SuppO from PenguinGuy's USS Firstship ran into him at NPS a couple of months ago. Don't even get me started on how all of my closest Bunco playing friends from San Diego came through Monterey and inevitably we will meet up with them down the road.

As a spouse it is important to be flexible and openminded. Oftentimes you hear horror stories of a duty station, but it is very much what you make of it. Your wife will be fine, there is a LOT of support out there. Heck, if you get selected for SWO let me know and I can add her to the SWO Spouse FB group. I am also available for particular questions or if your wife wants to talk herself.

As for your dog? Don't have one but aside from logistics of PCSing (i.e, breed restrictions, overseas quarantines, finding pet-friendly rentals, expensive airfare overseas, etc etc etc) there is really no reason why your pup can't keep going where the family goes.

 

[Matthew10]

Thanks for the reply. Nice to get some feedback from a spouse. What were the length of deployments your husband was on? And based on your experience with the Navy what was the ratio of deployments to the number of years he has been in?

If I for sure get the position I'll defiantly have her send you a request

 

[PenguinGal]

I hate to give the standard answer, but it depends on the ship and in what part of the cycle they are. USS First ship (ffg which will all be decommed by the time you hit the fleet) was met in the middle of deployment. Gone 6 (he did the last 2), back 6 before being gone for 6 more then into the yards for the remainder of his tour (~7 months). Secondship was a pre-commission (ddg) when he joined it. He was 'gone' for 4 months by the time the ship pulled into its final homeport for the first time. After that, the ship didn't deploy until shortly after he left it over a year later.

Don't forget that ships leave for cruises other than deployment. A nice 6-8 week cruise can happen multiple times a year adding up to more time underway than with a deployment. Leave Monday back Friday is another favorite underway schedule that will happen often at certain times.

Personally I don't think deployments are that bad without kids. I haven't done one with kids so I can't answer there. The worst times to be a spouse in my opinion are evolutions such as insurv where you never know day to day how late he will work on top of random 2-3 days out and back. The lack of set schedule is so frustrating at times. Deployment? Ship is gone and will likely stay that way for a while.

 

[Matthew10]

Wow. Not having a set schedule is a bummer. I really don't want to be gone ALL the time lol

 

[Matthew10]

And I'm not really familiar with Navy terms. What is the yard? I'm currently in the Air Force so it's going to be a transition

 

[Uncle Fester]

If you're a Shoe, you will work very hard and very long hours. Even in port, it's not a 9-5 job. I was a SWO for my first couple of years in the Navy, and embarked with an air det on a FFG two years ago - not much has changed. They were underway a lot, and pierside they had to cram in all kinds of mx work, inspections, admin, etc., between at-sea periods. The flip side is they usually are pretty good about treating your shore tours as "recovery time" from sea duty.

The yard = shipyards. Underway time is hard on boats, so between every deployment the ship will go into a shipyard for heavy maintenance, stuff that can't be done at sea or pierside by the crew. It can range from a few weeks to several years in the yards, depending on the ship type and where it is in its life cycle. It's sort of like going to work in a construction site. It's a more regular daily work schedule, because you're out of a lot of the normal requirements in the yard, but there are a whole other set of pains in the ass - the ship's torn apart and full of yard workers, nothing works, you're spending your days tracking work orders and trying to get your equipment back, installed, and working on time.

 

[AllAmerican75]

Wow. Not having a set schedule is a bummer. I really don't want to be gone ALL the time lol

Again, this is dependent upon what ship you're on and what is going on in the world. For the most part, your underway schedule is pretty well set and you will at least have a couple of months' notice before you get underway. If you are on a ship in Japan, Bahrain, Rota, a BMD-capable ship, or an Amphibious Ship, then you may have surprise underways in order to deal with crises in the world. But in that event you're at the tippity-tip of the spear and are directly carrying out tasking in support of national interests (Which is pretty badass).

As for the rest of your life as a SWO: Expect to work long hours pretty much all the time. Some COs are very old school and will treat you like shit and expect you to work 12 hour days just because that's what they did. Some of your fellow SWOs will "SWO" you and stab you in the back to make themselves look better. You won't get much sleep most of the time. You will have bad days and you will have problems and you will have times when you just want to throw in the towel.

But, then you will also have days where you get to re-enlist one of your hot running Sailors. You'll have times where you're in charge of fighting the ship and directing air and surface assets to hunt a foreign submarine at night, while preparing for an Underway Replenishment. You'll have a fresh cup of coffee and a hot cinnamon bun (It's good to be friends with the cooks and FSAs) while watching the sunrise over Malta and knowing that in a few hours you'll be sitting in a cafe drinking cappuccinos and exploring ancient ruins. You'll be entrusted to take a boarding team onto another vessel over the horizon and bring them home safely. You'll have stories to tell your grandchildren and then be able to pull out the mementos to prove that you were there. You'll be able to be stationed in foreign ports and take your family around the world. You'll have something to look back upon proudly and know that you did something significant.

All in all, it's hard work but it's worth it; even if you only do four years and get out. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me and I'll answer them as best as I can. Best of luck!

 

[BigBadBoJenkins]

But, then you will also have days where you get to re-enlist one of your hot running Sailors. You'll have times where you're in charge of fighting the ship and directing air and surface assets to hunt a foreign submarine at night, while preparing for an Underway Replenishment. You'll have a fresh cup of coffee and a hot cinnamon bun (It's good to be friends with the cooks and FSAs) while watching the sunrise over Malta and knowing that in a few hours you'll be sitting in a cafe drinking cappuccinos and exploring ancient ruins. You'll be entrusted to take a boarding team onto another vessel over the horizon and bring them home safely. You'll have stories to tell your grandchildren and then be able to pull out the mementos to prove that you were there. You'll be able to be stationed in foreign ports and take your family around the world. You'll have something to look back upon proudly and know that you did something significant.

 

[AllAmerican75]

View attachment 14695

How'd you get my Facebook profile photo?

 

[swerdna]

Everyone's experiences are going to be different. My first ship as an officer really wasn't that bad. Working hours were usually 8-4 or somewhere around there. Of course there are duty days and underway, but not every ship is that bad. For my second tour I went DESRON and worked 9-3 every day and spent about 3 weeks in a year and a half at sea.

As others said here, your spouse and pets will be able to go with you pretty much anywhere you're stationed. But do your homework for your pets - if you're stationed somewhere like Hawaii and don't follow all of their rules, your pet will be placed in quarantine for as long as 120 days (Japan also has strict rules, both are rabies-free areas).

Not to scare you, but if you're going to have marital problems they will probably surface after deployment. I was on deployment for 7 months, came home for about a month and then spent another month at sea. So we were gone for 8 out of 9 months. This is like marriage poison. But if you guys talk about everything before hand and work at it during deployment, and follow the advice for post-deployment events, you should be fine. My marriage, like many others, did not survive. You'd think deployment would be the rough part, but it's usually the adjustment phase afterward as people constantly grow and change.

 

[azguy]

Will they be able to come with me on different tours? (Including my dogs) . Has anyone else experience a time when you have to leave port in a foreign country and what did your wife do while you were gone? Was it a bad experience for her with you not there?

Does your bolded quote mean that you intend to be homeported in a foreign country (Japan or Spain)? Or do you think that you can bring your wife and pets to every foreign port that your ship visits?

You just have to understand that your wife will spend a lot of time without you. Your schedule will, at times, be incredibly unpredictable. If that's a deal breaker, then this is the wrong career for you. Realistically though, lots of people in the Navy have awesome marriages. If your wife is an independent, social person, it will be much easier.

I've done a 6 month deployment, weeks and months underway for workups, and unpredictable 70-80 hour work weeks inport getting ready for a big inspection; I've also taken tons of "free" time off and have spent the last few years with a super chill, 30 hour-a-week, office job. I think it all kind of comes out in the wash.

 

[Bluecore]

This is all great feedback. Thanks for sharing, guys. Those of us who haven't been there yet find it invaluable.

 

[CAMike]

Just stretch out your arms like you're on a crucifix and look up to the heavens and ask God to not be too harsh on you. That's probably the best advice since the "SWO experience" can be so diverse. Your SWO life depends on so many unpredictable variables and timing of other things completely unrelated to you or your ship. If you end up not appreciating the experience, you can always get out when the opportunity presents itself. Right?

My 4 yr active duty SWOlen experience was pretty good all in all. In fact, I did 4 more as a reservist at Treasure Island and Long Beach. Remember It's not just a job, it's $96.78 a week!

 

[rpat1987]

Being a SWO and being in the Infantry have a lot of similarities; such as deployments, shitty work hours, and cut throat people. Lol. Except I will no longer have to sleep in the dirt.