OCS quotes

[Ventilee]

I came into this thread thinking "What could be so funny about OCS?". Hilarious are some of these posts LOL

For the first week or so I was scared shitless of my instructors. I began to appreciate the hilarity of the situation when they made a candidate in my platoon stand 2 inches in front of his wall locker and shout "I won't touch my face" over and over again for about 20 minutes.

After that it was a matter of keeping my bearing for the next few weeks.

 

[m3urthy]

Still my fav- "Two sheets and a blanket"

 

[cpm67]

OCS is highly entertaining, usually when the candidate down at the other end of the squad bay is getting blasted for doing something stupid, even if it's you, you'll laugh about it later on.

These are all from GySgt Finger

"We're all men here, well, some of you little candycakes are, but hopefully you're all men right?"
"If I have to dress like Santa Claus to get outside the wire, then fuck it, you'll see me running around in a fucking santa suit fuckin up hajjis"
"Right now, I'd like to crush your skill into a footlocker, but that's just a fantasy, y'understand?

*The night before Pugil Sticks 2*
"You should be like a bunch of klingons, it would be cool if you beat your skulls against your footlockers for body hardening, then you go all 300 and rip Alpha's skull off and take their women, don't worry you won't go to jail."

*Referring to an infantry platoon in the assault*
"It's like the Silver Bullet times 50 on whoever they're attacking, which is cool, y'understand?"

"When life gets hard, just go and punch yourself in the face until it's a bloody pulp and, then move on, y'understand?"

"Man, I was fucking Habib UP before they brought me here to teach you fucking candycakes how to not shit yourselves, fucking him UP!"

*Talking about the Youtube video of the marine throwing the puppy off a cliff*
"The puppy didn't have to fly off the cliff, but it was still funny to see the Army, Navy, and Airfags flip out. I just say fuck you bitches"

 

[cpm67]

"Don't worry, there's no penalty for dropping the guide-on, no push-ups or anything...we'll just stab you through the heart with it" --Gunnery Sgt to remain unnamed in case this is incriminating..although it was hysterical to hear.

Sounds like GySgt Acero, am I right?

 

[nukon]

Sounds like GySgt Acero, am I right?

So much for anonymity.. but there was a motivating individual. First SNCO I came into contact with at OCS.. cash sales/supply was quite the introduction. I have so many funny quotes.. just wish I could explain the context. Oh well.

 

[DDE1990]

India 3 first inc 2010

during indoor drill practice cause it was like 410 C outside.
Cand XXX is like 7' 2" and bobs when he marches, so GySgt Hnyla yells across the squad bay "G*ddamit XXX, are you boxing f*ckin' gnats? STOP BOBBING!"

I had the cand. pltsgt billet during PltSgt inspection before first libo, and as GySgt Barnett got towards the end he snapped up in front of one of the candidates and looked at him for a minute, then out of nowhere was like... "Cand. XXX, are you a ladies man?"
Cand XXX: "........

.... YES GYSGT!"

I spit all over the clip board laughing, but luckily the entire squad bay lost it with me so I managed to get it under control before any yelling started.

 

[greatvaluebrand]

GySgt: "Candidate, is that spaghetti good?"
OCAN: "Yes Gygst"
GySgt: "Is that pie good?"
OCAN: "Yes Gysgt"
GySgt: "Mix them!"
PltCmdr: "Candidate why are you eating your pie with your spaghetti? "
OCAN: "Because its good sir!"

 

[gobaronsrugby]

I've got a couple. "Are they hading out mail?" "No, they're handing out chits".
"It takes 0 college credits to have common sense"
"The platoon sergeant is from Compton. Got that? I've got a homeboy. His name is Eric. Would I go to war with Eric? Fuck no."

 

[MarineBob]

Plt Sgt ; Candidate, why are you so fucked up?

Candidate: platoon Sgt, the candidate does not know why he is so fucked up!

End of discussion, Plt Sgt, Sgt Inst retreated looking like they would explode trying to hold back the laughter.

 

[MarineBob]

You god-damned ladies go out there and God-damn embarrass me, the Lt, the God-damned company commander, the god- damned battalion commander, god- damned God, Moses, and all them other god-damned mother fuckers?

I guess C-2 was not up to expectations drilling that afternoon.

 

[MarineBob]

In the final formation before heading to graduation/commissioning, the Company Gunny addressed Charlie Company:

In a few minutes we are getting on this bus and heading over to graduation. You been here....blah...blah..blah..

Now, in a little while you will all be commissioned as 2nd Lt's in my Marine Corps, and, some of you will be FINE officers, and some of you will be ALL FUCKED UP!

 

[MarineBob]

I guess it was not as OCS but later, deployed to Japan for a year. During the indoctrination lectures, SOF cards, off limits bars , etc we were warned: remember, 30 years ago, these people (the indigenous population outside the gate) bombed Pearl Harbor in a surprise attack. These yellow skinned, slanted eyed, sloped forehead, rice propelled cock suckers........ I guess that was a warning not to piss off the natives out in the ville. Such a lecture would probably not be politically correct these days

 

[MarineBob]

Candidate…..Why are you so F…d up? Response: PltSgt, the candidate does not know why he is so f….d up.