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Personal Statement

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mblanche

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I am applying for the FY09 STA-21 Program. I was wondering if people are willing to read over my personal statement and provide feedback? Also, should I post it, or PM it to those willing to participate.
Thanks for any feedback!
 
mblanche said:
I am applying for the FY09 STA-21 Program. I was wondering if people are willing to read over my personal statement and provide feedback? Also, should I post it, or PM it to those willing to participate.
Thanks for any feedback!
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You can PM it to me if you want. Keep in mind that I have not applied for an Officer program in over 13 years.
 
Nose said:
Q: How many people does it take to write a "personal" statement?
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Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ..... excellent. :icon_wink

Someone has finally said it. I wish it were I who "popped the cork" on this particular bottle .... :)

Personally, just thinking here .... just free association and all .... I'm stunned and amazed that I was ever able to obtain a four year scholarship AND a USN commission AND get through flight school ..... without the community's help ..... simply stunned and amazed.

A: I guess Hillary's right ..... it really DOES take a village, after all ... ???

Good luck in life, mblanche .....
 
Brett1 said:
The bigger problem is that it is intellectually dishonest to seek help writing your statement.
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I bought 'navyguides' from www.navyguides.com and it has a section that tells you what you should focus on in the motivational statement, is that dishonest? Is seeking gouge for the astb dishonest? To place my statement (which I placed here before it became such an issue) online for a proof read, and to get advice from those who have recently been selected is not dishonest. Maybe, a sticky should be made for motivational statement gouge as well.
 
Relax everyone... poster never asked anyone to WRITE his statement, he just said he wanted feedback. Can anyone here tell me they never asked a friend to lend a more objective set of eyes on a paper they'd written?

Now that we're all clear everyone is welcome to buy me alcohol when I redeploy home next week. [/threadjack]
 
snake020 said:
Relax everyone... ....Can anyone here tell me they never asked a friend to lend a more objective set of eyes on a paper they'd written?
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Skool daze ... ??? Never. Not even once.

Military ...??? Never. Not even once.

Civie street ... ??? The issue never came up until later in life, and now I do it all the time. Ask, that is .... :)
 
What some folks are trying to say (IMO) is: the "personal statement" is a reflection of your professional attitude, confidence and just plain "how hungry" you are. I have sat on many boards to recommend enlisted folks for OCS, STA-21, LDO/CWO, etc and I can tell you that their personal statement tells me a lot about who and what they are. Often, I think to myself, that a statement I'm reading is not the way I would have expressed the same sentiment, but it's powerful, genuine and "personal." When I read your personal statement, I want it to match the "look in your eye" and the "fire in your belly." Make sense ??? ;)
 
A4sforever (and others), my mistake for offending you. I didn't realize I started this thread to flame people, thanks for the good luck wishes. I am sure I'll need it.

Feedback: "a reaction or response to a particular process or activity" and "evaluative information derived from such a reaction or response"
I am suprised as well.
 
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