Paranoid question about motivational statement

[Creslin]

Hi everyone, I just got down writing my motivational statement for my application for commission. After reviewing it I was happy with what I put in it, but it only came out to be around 160 words and the limit is 500. I was just wondering if anyone knew if the Navy wants to know more about their applicants? Or if 160 words is enough if your thoughts are expressed clearly in them.

Probably just me being paranoid....

 

[uncledave]

Good question but I think that you should make it more than 160 words. In fact, I would put 500 if that is the maximum they allow. Maybe your recruiter could help you with that question.

 

[Kycntryboy]

I had to cut crap out from it being over that much

 

[erabe07]

Mine was either 499 or 500 exactly, I can't remember. Funny thing is I didn't have to do any serious editing to make it fit. I'd make it at least 400+ but I gues its your call.

 

[mlj0215]

I spent the most time working on my statement. If they want 500 words, I would recommend making it 500 words. No more, no less. It might take a few edits, but you can do it. Pass it around to some of your smart friends, maybe a professor also.

 

[contradickshon]

Brevity is the soul of wit...isn't that it? Not that you should try to be witty, but you want your statement to be clear and precise. Choose words that are lucid and cogent. Use simple syntax. Ask, "Does this statement say what I want it to say?" If it does then eliminate all words or phrases that don't directly contribute to your theme or line of fucus. If a two word idea can be combined into one--use the single word. Basically, if you can say in 200 words what another spends 500 words conveying, you are going to be more clear, poingant, and convincing. Your message will be more articulate.

Advice from a writing student...or is it a student of writing?

 

[ben]

It seems like they wanted 200 words when I applied. Did the application get changed?

 

[Creslin]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I think I'm going to ask my recruiter about it an see what he says. Hopefully ~160 words will be alright, I can't think of anything else that I would like to put in there without being redundant.

 

[bbennett73]

I spent HOURS reducing my first draft down to 200 words because when I started looking into this, that was the max. By the time I filled out my app, they had changed the max to 500 words. I kept the 200 word essay; I had whittled it down to the most clear, concise form that it could be. I was selected, so the shortage of words probably wasn't of any consequence.

If your 160 words are exactly what you want to say and you are pleased with the way you said it, don't add anything. To do so will only waste yours and the reader's time and will likely degrade the quality of your work.

The best thing you can do is give it to 4 or 5 people who are excellent writers themselves. Tell them you don't want a rubber stamp of approval, but an honest critique.