Thank you all who read this and provide thoughtful feedback. I am trying to commission after going enlisted and the designation I am applying for is aviation (pilot). I still have a ways to go before I even submit (interview, OAR, ASTB, finishing this application itself). However, any feed back possible would be greatly appreciated 
(THIS IS THE PROMPT, MAX 250 WORDS)
- Reason applying for a commission
- Personal and professional goals
- Strengths/personal characteristics you possess which will contribute to success in the program(s) to which you are applying.
Address any other relevant information or substantial accomplishments not already covered.
Serving in the armed forces has been a dream of mine ever since I was a young boy. I believe in giving back to a country that has given me so many opportunities where others take it for granted while understanding what it means to be led and to be a leader. Throughout my life, I had observed different leaders in my life and seen where they succeed and failed. Because of these observations, I was able to apply what I had learned to my jobs and position as team captain for my college cross-country team. Stepping up takes a great deal of courage which is a quality I exemplify magnificently. I chose to enlist first before applying for a commission because I wanted to learn how to be a proper leader by being the one led. I have seen great leaders in 1st/2nd class petty officers and chiefs while also seeing poor leadership from the same. I've learned that in order to be a great leader, you must understand those you are leading. It is imperative that leaders understand their subjects by having prior experience or by surrounding themselves with an open mind that is willing to connect, motivate, and inspire a sense of shared objectives. I wish to serve as an officer in the Navy to exhibit these core values I have instilled into my moral code.
(THIS IS THE PROMPT, MAX 250 WORDS)
- Reason applying for a commission
- Personal and professional goals
- Strengths/personal characteristics you possess which will contribute to success in the program(s) to which you are applying.
Address any other relevant information or substantial accomplishments not already covered.
Serving in the armed forces has been a dream of mine ever since I was a young boy. I believe in giving back to a country that has given me so many opportunities where others take it for granted while understanding what it means to be led and to be a leader. Throughout my life, I had observed different leaders in my life and seen where they succeed and failed. Because of these observations, I was able to apply what I had learned to my jobs and position as team captain for my college cross-country team. Stepping up takes a great deal of courage which is a quality I exemplify magnificently. I chose to enlist first before applying for a commission because I wanted to learn how to be a proper leader by being the one led. I have seen great leaders in 1st/2nd class petty officers and chiefs while also seeing poor leadership from the same. I've learned that in order to be a great leader, you must understand those you are leading. It is imperative that leaders understand their subjects by having prior experience or by surrounding themselves with an open mind that is willing to connect, motivate, and inspire a sense of shared objectives. I wish to serve as an officer in the Navy to exhibit these core values I have instilled into my moral code.
