Assuming you are just finishing the FRS based on your post; what toxic leadership have you had? Your only expectation was show up prepared and ready to fly. I would have a hard time if you told me that all of your IPs have been "toxic" to this point. If you're referring to the last year of COVID and the decisions regarding restrictions over that time, well, hopefully that's all past us.
I can't say I felt that way in your shoes - I was super excited finishing the FRS - apprehensive about having my first division, having to earn a lot more tactical quals, and starting a workup cycle, but very excited.
Did you come in with a lot of aviation experience? What makes you think your airline "peers" have any more freedom than you (as an entry level pilot)? As a new guy, they are waiting at least a couple months to get a line, then they are effectively living and dying by the schedule, similar to you. Don't get me wrong, I think there is tremendous upside to the airlines, but they have to show up to work on time too. But if you didn't already come into the Navy with a ton of aviation experience, you can safely assume those guys also took on a lot more debt to get to where they are than you did.
What expectations did not meet reality? For me, there was some mismatch, but it had to do with educational and career opportunities and just not realizing how many rules govern safe flying, not leadership expecations, liberty expectations, etc. I was also genuinely happy for my peers who were doing well for themselves, and was happy to note that the opportunities I got outweighed the benefits they got, for me at that time in my life (adventure, travel to some awesome port calls, a meaningful deployment, a built in group of awesome friends, the impact I was able to have on my Sailors as their DIVO, a stable income, TSP, a pension if I stayed long enough, etc.). I also have genuinely enjoyed almost everywhere I have been stationed, and have taken the attitude of "if people live here, they must have something fun to do." As a result, I have hiked parts of the Rockies and volcanoes in Hawaii, surfed (successfully) in Hawaii, swam with turtles, swam over the deepest part of the ocean, gone skiing in Japan (poorly), found beauty in the deserts of the United States, tried all sorts of spices in the Middle East and Asia, made friends with people from all over the world, sang "Waltzing Matilda" in many bars in Australia in an attempt to have beers bought for me (worked most of the time!), done rock climbing, got into spin classes and other various fitness classes, drank all sorts of craft beer and locally produced wine, learned more about Islam, Buddhism, and Shinto than I ever imagined I would, and so much more - and I realize that at least this collection of diverse activities are not ones that my civilian counterparts are having - and certainly not as spontaneously as they seem to happy in Navy life.
