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Family time vs. Studying ????

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e5b-wife

Registered User
My husband is starting TBS just before Thanksgiving. I expect him to have to do alot of studying and have some really long days. Okay, I'll be honest I know I'm not going to see him much. The thing is we have a 3 month old and it's hard enough to get things done now when he can help me so what can I really expect things to be like for the next 6 months? And I imagine flight school will be the same...lots of long hours and lots of studying. How can you balance a family life into that without your spouse killing him or herself? I know he'll need all my support and that's no problem. I guess I'm worried that I'll have trouble keeping my head and not nag him to spend some time with the family. I can deal with a separation much easier than having him home and not seeing him, if you know what I mean. Has anyone been through this yet?
 

Banjo33

AV-8 Type
pilot
I just graduated TBS in June and I'm married. Basically, I would get up around 0500 to be at work by 0600 (on deck time varied, but not by much). I would usually get home between 1800 and 2000. It all depends on what time you secure. Usually the day would end around 1600, but because the company is "student" run, you've got to wait for some dipstick to get all his "ducks in a row" before he would go to the CO at the end of the day in order to "secure" the company. Then, of course, the individual SPCs (Staff Platoon Commanders) had to secure the individual platoons. Academics weren't that difficult at TBS. I did most of my studying while waiting around in the evening to be secured. Weekends were recovery time only for me. I would lay in bed at night asleep (all through the week) and my muscles would twitch (literally raise my arm off the bed!) (my wife would get so upset at me!) because of how exhausted I was all of the time. The second my head hit the pillow I would be out like a light. So, on the weekends, don't overload your husband with activities. We would go out and eat a nice dinner (usually on Friday), we went to DC a couple of times to tool around, there's actually a lot to see in that area (we went to Kings Dominion once, Norfolk once, NY City during New Years)but didn't do anything on Sunday. I would spend all day Sunday preparing myself (water and rest) and my gear (iron cammies, polish boots, haircut, shopping (food for the week at school, clean my pack, etc.). It was long, rough, and most of us hated nearly every minute of it. It was tough on my wife, but she ended up meeting a couple of wives (plus she worked full time) and that helped a lot in passing the time. I can't imagine having a baby too, it would make things that much more difficult. But, you just have to bare with it, and gut it out. I wish the best for you two! Things are tough, it'll test your relationship a little (especially if he brings his "gripes" home with him), but it's just part of the "big picture." You'll look back and have memories and experiences, and it'll have been worth it.
 

kmc9280

Registered User
Could someone advise me as to the best living arrangements during TBS for married couples. I had planned on my wife and I getting an apratment, is that the best thing to do? And if so, do you have suggestions as to close, nice and affordable places?

Kevin
 

Banjo33

AV-8 Type
pilot
My wife and I stayed in Stafford at an apartment complex called The Point. It was a nice place, kinda expensive, fairly new, but great location. There's quite a few places near base to stay. Just be sure to get something really close to a gate (front or rear, rear is a lot closer to Camp Barrett). The last thing you want to do at 0500 or 2130 after a long day is to drive 45 minutes home or have to fight your way through traffic. Traffic is horrible around Stafford and such, so don't plan on commuting down I95 (granted south bound moves a lot quicker in the morning). Rt 1 isn't super busy. There should be plenty of places available, best thing is to get there a few days early, rent a motel, and apartment shop for a couple of days. Also, if the military is moving your stuff, make sure you bring all of your uniforms and such with you (I packed mine, like an idiot, and had to buy a couple extra pair of cammies and stuff).
 

e5b-wife

Registered User
KMC, I suggest living on base. My husband and I have a house here. Don't let the housing office BS you. When you check in if they offer you something take a look at it. THe houses aren't bad. IF you live on base you don't get your BAH but you also don't have to pay utilities, just phone and cable. And I'll tell you now your BAH will barely cover rent around here if you get an apartment. IF you have two incomes this won't be a problem but if you don't.....
I thought we would have to be off base but when my husband checked in they told him they had a place open and it was ours if we wanted it. We jumped on it. And I'm really glad we did. I've visited a couple of people who are off base and their apartments are TINY and they pay out the wazoo for them too. Our house isn't huge but we have a three month old baby and two 40 pound dogs and we have plenty of room.
They say there is a waiting list for housing but there are a ton of units open (I can tell you a few of them if you want) and it is first come forst serve for housing, even if you're on the waiting list if someone else walks into the housing office and there's a place open it's their's. Plus, you get the added bonus of never having to fight the traffic.
Personally, I think living on base is great. You meet so many people who can help you get your bearings. It's like living in a small town, you can to know a lot of folks. Once again if you're wife doesn't work it'll be great for her. A lot easier to meet people and get to any of the TBS functions for spouses.
Of course, the choice is yours but check out base housing just for the heck of it. IF you want some more info check out the Quantico website www.quantico.usmc.mil (If i'm not completely confused).
 
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