Spare the rod, spoil the child (child-rearing tips for aviators)

Sweet pic Bevo! Looks like his Dad! Tough kid to have gone through all that.

my mother is fond of saying that I "grew up in the finest bars of Bakersfield CA," and I turned out just fine

Not just bars, but at any social function unless it is specifically a family event. Parents need to get sitters or not go.

You, sir, have obviously never been to a drinking establishment in southern Spain at 0330 in the AM.:icon_tong

I still remember the Spanish families strolling in with their little ones (any and all ages)...ordering a cerveza or something with a bit more kick and then hanging out for a couple of hours.

Sometimes the kids were good...sometimes not.

I also remember that when I finally had to call it a night those kids were still going strong...and probably snuck over to finish my last glass of sherry, too.

We always joked it explained the absence of a Spanish Apollo program...too busy having fun drinking and carousing to worry about a space race with anyone.

lol, almost any modern psychologist regardless of their school of thought won't go against mounds of evidence that has now become pretty textbook.

Also, despite the fact that I never want kids (wretched crotch spawn!), child developmental psychology was one of the best classes I've ever taken in college. There were probably 80 people in the class and it was literally a 60/20 split between girls/guys. Great class!

edit: kids.

It'd be ma'am, actually, and I had much too much sangria that night to remember whether there were small children about.

Plenty of exceptions to my "no kids at bars" stance (and I know it's generally accepted in Europe). I'll revise my statement to be more in line with exhelodrvr- children do not belong at social functions unless they are specifically family events.
Squadron picnic- bring 'em all and set up the bouncy-bounce and pony rides
Other event that just disguises a JO drunkfest- not so much

There is a difference between 'mounds of violence' and getting a whoopin'

There IS a reason those people have like the lowest productivity in the world...

Yes, but it is some of the most entertaining lack of productivity anywhere in the world. Don't knock it unless you've tried it.

BEVO
God Love Ya! When my son was still pretty small and got pnuemonia, I remember holding him, rocking and tears dripping down because I couldn't do a damned thing to ease his misery. I told my wife I'd rather be in a firefight than to have to watch that little guy and I couldn't do anything to help.
I try really hard to remember that when I have to smack his little ass to make a point. Adding to that, I was a DI at SDiego in the 50's and got really tired of the hardnosed discipline that goes with the job. Two years of it and I didn't want to raise my voice above a whisper for years after.
However, my son who is now 32 months old, is flexing his muscles as kids do in their development. His Momma works and gets up at 0430 so when he starts to fuss in the middle of the night, I'll go crawl into bed with him and get him calmed down and back to sleep. When he gets disciplined he also gets hugs and kisses afterward. I hope he grows up to be a mature self disciplined caring individual with the confidence to take care of himself and those he cares about.
My wife went thru 8 IVF cycles before we were blessed with our son but it was nothing compared to what you have gone thru again. I salute you and your wife. God bless your son and your family. wheeeew
Rocky

Fedoc
Cheers for you as well. My brother and his wife were doing foster care for kids of drug parents for years and they couldn't handle it after about 10 years. But, they also had a revolving door kind of situation with SDiego county. The emotional drain was too great for them.
My salutes to you and your wife.
Semper Fi
Rocky

Yes, screaming/crying/whining children anywhere you go is annoying. Yes, having kids at adult functions is inconvienent... but if you are going to get on here to say "Keep them at home!"...you obviously don't have kids, experience with them, nor do you have a good idea of how military life works.

Yes, there are brats out there, often it's not their fault - as many have eluded - it's upbringing. However...they are people and have their own will. They are not robots. If they were - how boring would the world be?! If you want them to be "perfect"...maybe reflect on times in the past that maybe you didn't get 100% on a test/flight/fitrep...fought with friends, family or foes...

My kids are USUALLY good, and I do take them grocery shopping with me...all 3, under the age of 5. Do I WANT to take them? No...but am I going to hire a baby-sitter so I can grocery shop?! NO. It's through daily experiences that kids learn right from wrong. Have my kids been hit with a cart before? YES, one did. She learned something from that stupid act! I laughed, the poor lady looked horrified, but it was my daughter who walked into a stopped cart. My daughter learned to be aware of her surroundings. Sometimes it doesn't matter how blue in the face you repeat things. If you ever have the privledge of having children - you'll see this when you rear your own.

I do not know a single child out there that does not act up every once in a while. My husband isn't a child, but jeez - so does he, as do I. Have some heart. You don't know what is going on in the family. The Mom/Dad might have deployed. There may be fighting at home, problems at school...the child sick... I can assure you that Moms or Dads for that matter - do not WANT to bring kids shopping if they know it's close to nap-time or the kids are having an "off" day.

Compassion. Learn it. Live it. If you are blessed to have kids, you'll understand. Life isn't all about you and what is in/convienent.

You laugh when your crumb cruncher runs into someones kart.

I had to deal with a lady 2 days ago at the NAB Little Creek commissary who's morbildy obese 5 year old thundered into the side of my legs, and I went down on the floor on top of him.

She screams yells rants and raves for a good 10 minutes. The EMTs and MAs come. She wants me to get "reprimanded" for "hurting her baby without remorse". Kid wasn't even bleeding or bruised.

And this is not the first time I have seen kids like this at the commissary. I'm not sure how that would have played out in town.

Grocer- Bring kids, but I don't want to hear them screaming or have them run into me.
Parties/Functions- Leave the little bastards at home. I don't care HOW well they normally behave. I hate mando fun to start with, and your little screamer just makes me drink MORE. Get a sitter. If your husbands and O-whatever, you can afford it. Just roll back on your shoe shopping and haagen-daz.

Yes it is, BECAUSE I chose not to have kids... yet.

I swear to god you're the only person I've ever heard of who gets threatened with legal action on a weekly/daily basis.

Well, she didn't say the "sue" word. But she was all sorts of pissed at me for "falling on her kid".

It just don't like it when the screaming Yentas and their misbehaving crotchfruit are running wild in the Commissary. You'd think that would be the more "orderly" grocery store.

I think I need to start shopping at Bloom and Harris-Teter more often.

I’ve got four kids, and have been around the military for several years. I think I have a decent idea of how military life works. It was very rare I took them grocery shopping when they were little unless it was a quick trip. My normal once every 2 week trip takes a good 90+min. I felt it was very unfair to the kids to have them in that environment for so long and unfair to the other patrons when the kids reached the end of their patience half way through the commissary. I did hire sitters, and found it easier on everyone. They would much rather stay home and play than have to either sit in a cart or walk next to one for over an hour. All four managed to learn to behave in public with no real problems, even without prolonged exposure to commissary shopping as young children.

In the years we’ve spent raising “Navy Brats” we either hired a sitter, or one of us stayed home for adult functions. I refuse to be disrespectful and make people “bend the rules” for my convenience, and I detest when others take it upon themselves to bring their darling children to my home for a clearly stated adult function; especially when we made the effort to have our kids elsewhere.

I understand some don’t want to get sitters, and that’s fine. However, if that’s their choice they also need to realize they are also choosing to miss out on some functions. I don’t think it’s fair to the other adults in attendance.

I'm mild-insulted by the term crumb-crunchers, but yes. I do feel like I have to rebuttle. I'm also annoyed by the thought that "us women" just are out spending money on shoe shopping - maybe you need to meet some other type of women? There are things such as 1. retirement (God forbit, even in our mid-20s thinking about putting away for the future...some of you may want to chew on that...) 2. College Education (True, those of you without children at the moment or later don't need to worry about that.) 3. Savings (Another term a lot of America has yet to figure out...) I'm extremely proud of my family for being being able to put our daughter in private school, putting away money for retirement, college education, and saving - while living comfortably. We don't go blow it on nights out partying... Do we get sitters? Yes, when we need too - do we attend functions? When we want too...and depending on the time, location, other children in attendance, would we ever consider bringing our 3...

It is a person's right to decide when they want to have children. It is a person's right IF they even want to have children. It is only pure decency to treat a person with basic civil courtesy.

I am just assuming that the majority of the people on AW are either 1. Interested in becoming a Naval aviator 2. Are in the process of becoming a Naval aviator 3. Are a Naval aviator or 4. Used to be a Naval aviator or 5. Are somehow linked to Naval aviation in general.

If that is true...don't you think as a Navy or Marine Corps Officer (or soon to be) you should be held to a higher standard? You aren't Joe Schmoe on the corner cursing at Moms (or Dads for that matter) with their kids while they run basic errands. People look up to you. They TRUST you whether you deserve it or not.

From the Navy creed: "I am committed to excellence and the fair treatment of all."
From the Marine Corps Prayer: "Help me to wear my uniform with dignity, and let it remind me daily of the traditions which I must uphold."

Okay...so you non-believers - I am sure are going to start bashing me that you don't pray, so it doesn't pertain to you. It DOES.

My husband was an enlisted harrier mechanic when I met him. A LCpl to be exact. He looked up and respected the pilots that flew the jets he as worked 12 hr shifts - sometimes longer - to ensure their safety and completion of daily sorties. He worked hard, and I'm so proud of him. He got accepted into a commissioning program, finished college, did OCS, TBS, API, Primary and he is now in Advanced. Please don't tell me that his peers are going to be self-centered jerks?

To me...I think of an officer as distinguished and honorable. I've heard about the drunken fests, seen the parties...do I care? No. Most of you are young, ummarried...why do I care? It's your life. You are entitled to be whoever you want. It's YOUR choice. Just as some of us choose to bring our children grocery shopping or anywhere else that they are legally allowed to be.

I would be careful to watch what is said. Most of us Moms/Dads are forgiving and understand that there are people out there too young, irresponsible, and immature deal with kids. Words whether spoken or written can sometimes be forgiven, but not forgotten. Our family is at the bottom of the food chain when it comes to "Officer-land" - but there are higher ranking, COs, XOs and the like that have young children too.

Would you honestly choose to be a jerk to the CO's wife when she and her children are having an "off" day? People are forgiven, but not forgotten at times.

Can we all agree that kids can be UGLY at the commissary, grocery store, malls, resturants and the like? Yes. Can we all agree that there are parent's you'd like to throttle for having ill-mannered/obese or overweight kids? Yes. As a (hopefully mature) adult, can you just accept that they are a CHILD. I'm sure you had UGLY days too.

Ma'am, if that took you all the way to mild insulted...maybe this forum ain't the place to be lurkin' about...

And yea, we are a self righteous, self centered bunch of ass clowns. But that doesn't necessarily make me wrong when I don't feel like dodging someone else's kids at an adult event, or when they are going nuts in a store, or at a ball game/movie/etc. Just because you have curtain climbers doesn't mean the world bends to their will.

Quoted For Truth !

+1

Crumb crunches..squid..jarhead..same thing... it's not a kind thing to say. People say it...it is shrugged off. I rarely come to the public forum specifically for this reason.

I mentioned this post to one of the gals I saw today who works with Fleet and Family Service and she says she refuses to go to this website because of rude and unnecessary remarks. I'm on here for the PRIVATE spouses corner as a resource, but this thread did catch my eye. This is one area that I do get my hackles up... Mess with innocent kids and shame on you.

And no. I do not expect anyone to go out of their way.

Simply put: TOLERANCE.

To the active duty squid , jarhead are terms of endearment, so is crumb crunchers. Maybe you should lighten up just a bit. :icon_wink

AlphaEcho606...I was just making a point. My passion is for my kids. I don't know you, or anyone on here other than a few wives from PSC - but it'd be thoughless for me to go bashing on various services, different kinds of pilots etc. (Yes, I'm fully aware that I have no justification!...Just making a point!) As you take pride in your work, I take pride in caring for my kids and giving them the best life and upbringing I can provide.

I'm done. I'm fighting an uphill battle. I don't even think that some of you all even understand the POINT I'm trying to make:

Don't be mean to the kids, it's not their fault.

I know there are some of you who are considerate and thoughtful....Thank you. There are others that could care less. All I can say is: "It's life. Deal with it."

I have to say that I DO take the little Pickles to the store (stay away from the Oakleaf Plantation Publix! That's where we shop! ). I do try and keep them in line, but they are 2 1/2 and 8 months.

I will say that I don't take them to squadron functions for several reasons. One of which is that I cannot have a good time, if I'm in "mommy mode." I also don't think that most of the stories/jokes/gestures are appropriate for the little pickles (and look at their father!!)

I will agree to that. There have been countless times that I have looked at other peoples' children and thought, "Good GOD take that child home!" If my child annoys someone else (say... at the grocery store), I usually apologize profusely. I'm not feeling guilty, I understand that they shouldn't have to listen to Pickle Jr's tantrum over KitKats.

By and large, I get a little bit of slack for having such young kids. Even the single sailors think Pickle Jr is pretty cool (except when he calls them dad... dammit! not all guys in flight suits are dad!).

I've learned that a little tolerance and a huge sense of humor will get you a long way in the military life. Oh yeah, and laying the smack down once in awhile (which I am very good at doing... just ask Pickle and his classmates).


Nothing said here was in disrespect (unlike another thread going this weekend... :icon_rage). Sense of humor... thick skin...

Nuff said!

I'm not dissing kids, I think they are great for those who want them and know how to care for them. I do agree with Master for his thoughts though, if a parent can't control or doesn't know when the kids are misbehaving, then there is a problem. I know and realize that many things factor in to a childs life, but some parents just don't give a SH**! It's those parents and kids that I have a problem with! If a parent is unable to control their child, they need to seek help. In my opinion, way too many YOUNG ADULTS have children that are unable or unwilling to care for them.

I'm glad to hear that you love and care for your children, it's just that so many DO NOT!

Rant over.