1. Please take a moment and update your account profile. If you have an updated account profile with basic information on why you are on Air Warriors it will help other people respond to your posts. How do you update your profile you ask?

    Go here:

    Edit Account Details and Profile

Personal Statement

Discussion in 'Enlisted Commissioning Programs' started by mblanche, Sep 18, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. mblanche

    mblanche New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Last Activity:
    Sep 20, 2007
    I am applying for the FY09 STA-21 Program. I was wondering if people are willing to read over my personal statement and provide feedback? Also, should I post it, or PM it to those willing to participate.
    Thanks for any feedback!
     
  2. jus2mch

    jus2mch MOTIVATOR Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2006
    Messages:
    489
    Likes Received:
    47
    Last Activity:
    Mar 22, 2015
    If you PM it to me I will review it.
     
  3. skim

    skim Teaching MIDN how to drift a BB None Contributor

    Joined:
    May 12, 2006
    Messages:
    1,154
    Likes Received:
    107
    Last Activity:
    Oct 10, 2014
    I can too
     
  4. HH-60H

    HH-60H Pilot Super Moderator Contributor None

    Joined:
    May 31, 2005
    Messages:
    2,440
    Likes Received:
    271
    Last Activity:
    Yesterday at 2:14 PM
    You can PM it to me if you want. Keep in mind that I have not applied for an Officer program in over 13 years.
     
  5. fc2spyguy

    fc2spyguy HSC-22 Contributor None

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2004
    Messages:
    1,403
    Likes Received:
    238
    Last Activity:
    Mar 14, 2015
    I can take a look at it if you want.
     
  6. Nose

    Nose Active Member None

    Joined:
    May 14, 2007
    Messages:
    367
    Likes Received:
    135
    Last Activity:
    Oct 7, 2013
    Q: How many people does it take to write a "personal" statement?
     
    A4sForever likes this.
  7. A4sForever

    A4sForever INTERNET BULLY Contributor None

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2004
    Messages:
    9,070
    Likes Received:
    1,808
    Last Activity:
    Jan 26, 2014
    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ..... excellent. :icon_wink

    Someone has finally said it. I wish it were I who "popped the cork" on this particular bottle .... :)

    Personally, just thinking here .... just free association and all .... I'm stunned and amazed that I was ever able to obtain a four year scholarship AND a USN commission AND get through flight school ..... without the community's help ..... simply stunned and amazed.

    A: I guess Hillary's right ..... it really DOES take a village, after all ... ???

    Good luck in life, mblanche .....
     
  8. Brett1

    Brett1 Banned

    Joined:
    May 24, 2007
    Messages:
    150
    Likes Received:
    60
    Last Activity:
    Aug 28, 2010
    The bigger problem is that it is intellectually dishonest to seek help writing your statement.
     
  9. skim

    skim Teaching MIDN how to drift a BB None Contributor

    Joined:
    May 12, 2006
    Messages:
    1,154
    Likes Received:
    107
    Last Activity:
    Oct 10, 2014
    I bought 'navyguides' from www.navyguides.com and it has a section that tells you what you should focus on in the motivational statement, is that dishonest? Is seeking gouge for the astb dishonest? To place my statement (which I placed here before it became such an issue) online for a proof read, and to get advice from those who have recently been selected is not dishonest. Maybe, a sticky should be made for motivational statement gouge as well.
     
  10. snake020

    snake020 Active Member Contributor

    Joined:
    May 15, 2006
    Messages:
    687
    Likes Received:
    141
    Last Activity:
    Today at 11:47 AM
    Relax everyone... poster never asked anyone to WRITE his statement, he just said he wanted feedback. Can anyone here tell me they never asked a friend to lend a more objective set of eyes on a paper they'd written?

    Now that we're all clear everyone is welcome to buy me alcohol when I redeploy home next week. [/threadjack]
     
  11. MasterBates

    MasterBates Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2006
    Messages:
    9,594
    Likes Received:
    1,525
    Last Activity:
    May 5, 2013
    Lawyer taling about honesty.. Beezlebub is calling the furnace repairman as we speak.
     
  12. jus2mch

    jus2mch MOTIVATOR Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2006
    Messages:
    489
    Likes Received:
    47
    Last Activity:
    Mar 22, 2015
    Is this kind of like when my COC asked me if I wrote my CO's endorsement yet?
     
  13. A4sForever

    A4sForever INTERNET BULLY Contributor None

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2004
    Messages:
    9,070
    Likes Received:
    1,808
    Last Activity:
    Jan 26, 2014
    Skool daze ... ??? Never. Not even once.

    Military ...??? Never. Not even once.

    Civie street ... ??? The issue never came up until later in life, and now I do it all the time. Ask, that is .... :)
     
  14. robav8r

    robav8r . . . just a thought from a worn out arm chair. None Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,497
    Likes Received:
    812
    Last Activity:
    Today at 4:42 PM
    What some folks are trying to say (IMO) is: the "personal statement" is a reflection of your professional attitude, confidence and just plain "how hungry" you are. I have sat on many boards to recommend enlisted folks for OCS, STA-21, LDO/CWO, etc and I can tell you that their personal statement tells me a lot about who and what they are. Often, I think to myself, that a statement I'm reading is not the way I would have expressed the same sentiment, but it's powerful, genuine and "personal." When I read your personal statement, I want it to match the "look in your eye" and the "fire in your belly." Make sense ??? ;)
     
  15. mblanche

    mblanche New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Last Activity:
    Sep 20, 2007
    A4sforever (and others), my mistake for offending you. I didn't realize I started this thread to flame people, thanks for the good luck wishes. I am sure I'll need it.

    Feedback: "a reaction or response to a particular process or activity" and "evaluative information derived from such a reaction or response"
    I am suprised as well.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page