Hello Airwarriors, After finding my comforter pissed on yet again by my satan spawn of a dog I am in search to find if we do indeed own the worst pets in the history of pets. The following is a list of *some* of the things that have been eaten/destroyed in the past year by said demon dog and his three animal cohorts. Ate half of an IFR book Chewed model airplane Ate brand new cell phone Ate a pair of Oakley sunglasses Ate a brand new pair of Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses Chewed off section of the couch Ruined $300 suit & $$ evening gown Chewed up his own dog bed Chewed off handles from two Lazy Boy recliners Knocked over & broke glass Mariners floor lamp Knocked over & broke dolphin statue Pissed on new master bathroom rugs Vomited on brand new area rug Vomited in back seat of car Chased IP down the street & nipped him in the ass Destroyed two shelves worth of books Eats cat poop from litter box Chewed through vacuum cleaner cord Ate entire closet full of stilettos & thongs Dug out bomb shelter size hole in back yard May have eaten small rodent of some kind Stole & ate pork roast from kitchen counter By posting this thread I am hoping to either A Prove that we have the worst pets ever or B Hear even more heinous acts of pet destruction that will *hopefully* make me feel better of our own beastly critters. Cheers!
But what's really impressive is how he put your jacket on, showed one of his animal cohorts how to use your digital camera, borrowed your AW account, and uploaded the picture to your avatar....
I've got a cat that likes to tip over drinking glasses when they are left unattended. All she needs is about a 5 second window and you'll be cleaning up a spill. Yet she is the cutest most loving cat in the world.
The eatin stuff happens.. Chasing someone down the street and biting them. Unacceptable. Was this the same meathead dog on the Riverwalk or the other one?
Hannah does the first one, and Cane did the second. Hannah has also eaten: tampons (both new & <ahem>), $20 worth of golf tickets for the local par 3, a $20 bill, brand new bluetooth headset, cigarette butts, cigar butts, toilet paper, paper towel, toilet paper roll, Ricola (I guess she had a sore throat), I could go on and on... There's a reason she's kenneled during the day. And on a side note, you have enough stilettos & thongs to fill a closet?!? Are you a stripper?
Ummm...you can add that to my list as well, numerous broken water glasses. I forgot about that! Um, yes same dog. Unacceptable, totally! He has graduated doggie boot camp since then. Um, thongs as in flip flops...and stilettos yes, I'm 5'4 hubby is 6'1. Oh, and add paper fetish to the list as well. Demon dog also guilty of tampon thing.
You had an entire closet full of stilettos and thongs?! Wow, I'm way behind... and also I have really inadequate closet space, comparatively speaking. Edit: Beaten to it. But I did figure out that you meant flip flops haha... who keeps their lingerie in a closet anyways?
Newman has -eaten an entire block of cheese from a counter -demolished a bag of babybel cheeses (wax and all...colorful poo to say the least) -pissed on the wall when i wouldn't pay attention to him while studying -pissed on the floor when I was packing a suitcase and leaving him -pissed on the floor because he was so excited to see me -eaten a pizza off the counter -tried some raw squash off the counter tonite -goes for walks on his own -mauls other big dogs for shits and giggles, all while wiggling his nub tail happily -almost got me bit by a cottonmouth snake by sprinting thru a field next to a swamp. he's not bad about chewing things, and when he does his wiggle kidney bean dance when I get home it's pretty ok by me. If I were trying to get rid of a dog, I would start using extension cords coated in e-z cheese for everything.
Hannah actually dug through my wife's purse, and snagged a brand new one. Ate the entire thing, and spit out the wrapper. This morning I woke up to a pile of poop in the upstairs hallway, and a huge puddle of piss by the back door (where they go out to pee/poop). Gino was hanging his head in embarrassment most of the day - and then I realized it was because he wasn't feeling well. Has spent most of the day doing liquid poo (changed his diet), so I'm glad that wasn't what was greeting me in the hallway.
My last dog (a 185lb Newfoundland) was very gentle, but liked to eat the house when we were out during his teething stage. I'm talking the corner of a door frame, trim and drywall down to the 2x4's underneath---gone. We had a screen front door for a while. That was until he ran through it, taking half the door frame with him. He ate one of his toys once, a blue octopus with a bunch of 2' long legs/tentacles. He walked around with 18" of blue tentacle hanging out of his ass for the better part of a day.
Part of me thinks this thread should be merged with a firearms thread....It's not animal cruelty if they deserve it right?
Wow...and I thought that having to vacuum every fabric surface in my house once a week was bad. The only other thing I usually have to worry about is if Nick farts in his sleep...
I was cleaning up the master bedroom today... Bent over and hear "pfffft" really close to my head. Almost gagged...
It's never a pleasant treat. Especially when it coincides with your alarm going off and its the first thing you're aware of... I don't think I've ever been so eager to get out of bed.
Oh yea, and when Newman was at my parents house (they rescued him for me) he loved to chow down on kitty crunchies.
Or when youre hanging out with a lady friend at your place, enjoying some nice "conversation" on the couch, and the mutt decides the interject his "two scents". You can swear it wasnt you till youre blue in the face...
