Motivational Statement MEGA Thread

[exNavyOffRec]

Would it be beneficial in my statement to talk about how I hope to be a resource for younger officers and enlisted sailors and hope to use some of my past life experiences to motivate and uplift them to be the best they can be? or is that cheesy? Through college, I worked as an after-school program leader at a low-income middle school and i truly did enjoy talking with and helping these students.
I also want to add something about my grandfather, he was enlisted and always had a dream of becoming an officer, however, life happens and he never pursued this dream and I will be proud to carry on his legacy in this way.

If your going for aviation unless you have a waiver no one will bother reading your statement except you and your recruiter.

 

[waterandwind15]

If your going for aviation unless you have a waiver no one will bother reading your statement except you and your recruiter.

I do have a waiver so I guess I’ll need it lol

 

[exNavyOffRec]

I do have a waiver so I guess I’ll need it lol

They will take a quick scan, maybe then, really it will fall on your ASTB to do the talking for you.

Your are talking about a waiver that deals with legal or moral issues correct?

 

[LTA86]

Good evening everyone. If anyone would be so kind to critique my motivational statement, it would be a big help. Applying for CWO, IT, and supply if I don't get either of those.

Getting my bachelor’s degree in computer science, so far, has been the hardest intellectual undertaking of my life. So many students didn’t end up making it and changed their majors. Most of us who graduated immediately went into the private sector for a big salary. However, I’m more hungry for growth and to push the limits of my current character to evolve into the next best version of myself. Money isn’t everything, and just excelling in the profession of choice isn’t the end all be all of a person's development. My father is one of the smartest people that I know. He could have been a mathematician if he applied himself. He is a big part of who I am today. However, I have also learned that my father, for all of the amazing qualities he possesses, is a great example of unused potential. Something I will not allow myself to become. Since I decided to go back to school and get out of the hospitality industry, I knew that I wanted to really apply myself to become the best version of myself possible. I have had multiple conversations with my previous boss and mentor Aaron Edwards. He was in the military years ago and I can tell that he was shaped into a better person because of his time in the military. Exhibiting qualities of a leader. A real Sgt. Winters. Level headed, wise, methodical, strong, direct, understanding, driven, admirable.

Ever since I was 7 years old, I have been a martial arts practitioner. I dove into a world where respect, discipline, teamwork and tenacity were the cornerstones of my development. Throughout my life, regardless of what art form I was studying, those cornerstones persisted and were ingrained in me. This bled into other aspects of my life. When I was 10, I was the youngest person at the beach club my family frequented to tread water for 45 minutes. In high school, I worked through pain, malnourishment, blood, sweat and tears to beat the varsity team member in my high-school wrestling weight class. I rode my first century on a bicycle when I was 18. In college, I wouldn’t even ask to be in charge of group projects but it was easy for me to find strengths and weaknesses in my colleagues and give them all a sense of direction whenever we would strategize how to tackle complex tasks. When I was bartending, I continued to learn and perfect my craft while many would just clock in and clock out. This led to me often being in a leadership role in multiple jobs, even if that wasn’t reflected in the title of my position. It is still a point of pride when I hear from previous coworkers that they learned everything they know about bartending from me. I don’t think it’s because of my technical skills. It’s because of effective communication, putting whatever team I am a part of before myself, and being decisive in action regardless of what I am doing. This is why I was promoted to Team Leader at the URI IT Service desk in less than 6 months and put in charge of projects like refitting the entire campus’ dormitories, leading, effectively training, and coordinating a team of 20 students. I don’t think I’ll be a great leader because I dream of leadership. I think I’ll be a great leader because, like my mentor Aaron, I have a gift of pulling the best out of those around me if they are hungry for it. Now that I am older, more mature, and a little bit wiser, I firmly believe I have a strong aptitude for leadership in the Navy, a position that I have set my eyes on, and will excel in.

I've applied for CW as well. Here is a rephrased version of your statement. This is 1 of many ways you could write it.

"During my journey towards obtaining a bachelor’s degree in computer science, I've faced one of the most intellectually challenging paths of my life. While some of my peers changed direction, I stayed focused, motivated not just by monetary rewards but by a desire for personal growth. My father, a figure of great intellect, both inspires me and serves as a warning, his unrealized potential reminding me of the significance of seizing every chance for self-improvement. This awareness propelled my transition from the hospitality sector back to academia, sparking a strong determination to exceed my own boundaries and evolve into my highest potential.

Discussions with my mentor, Aaron Edwards, a military veteran, shed light on the profound impact of military service, molding individuals into poised and principled leaders. Inspired by figures like Sergeant Winters, I am motivated by a deep-seated desire to embody their leadership traits and make meaningful contributions to the cryptologic warfare sphere.

Embedded in my lifelong journey through martial arts, I embody the Navy's fundamental values of honor, discipline, teamwork, and tenacity. These values have been pivotal in shaping my character, enabling me to surmount challenges and excel in demanding environments.

From enduring a 45-minute water treading session at age 10 to assuming leadership roles in various professional settings, I have consistently demonstrated the ability to motivate and lead by example. My tenure as a Team Leader at the URI IT Service Desk further underscores my capability to guide diverse teams and navigate intricate challenges with finesse.

My aspiration to serve as a Cryptologic Warfare Officer is fueled not merely by ambition but by a sincere desire to leverage my expertise and skills in advancing national security objectives. With a blend of experience, resilience, and innate leadership qualities aligned with the Navy's core values, I am confident in my ability to thrive in the dynamic realm of cryptologic warfare, contributing significantly to the Navy's mission while upholding its values with honor and distinction."

 

[waterandwind15]

They will take a quick scan, maybe then, really it will fall on your ASTB to do the talking for you.

Your are talking about a waiver that deals with legal or moral issues correct?

Oh no, sry i have a medical waiver. In which case your probably right that it wont matter much.
Either way, I know it won't matter much, but I want to give it my all either way so I will still try my best to write a decent statement.

 

[exNavyOffRec]

Oh no, sry i have a medical waiver. In which case your probably right that it wont matter much.
Either way, I know it won't matter much, but I want to give it my all either way so I will still try my best to write a decent statement.

If medical they won't bother reading it as the board knows nothing about your medical status except you are PQ for the designator you are applying for.