Got dumped yesterday :(

[ForTheBoys]

Hey,

Just kinda posting this here to vent I guess.

Started dating her before I moved down to Pcola and we've been doing the distance thing for a while. I don't want to get into the nitty gritty, but on top of distance, she had a ton of issues of her own to deal with including depression (has a therapist now) and decided she needed to be alone. I did everything I could, and I know there's nothing wrong with me. She was really good to me and we had a great thing going for a long time. Starting over seems pretty daunting.

Needless to say, I'm feeling ultra-bummed at the moment. I'm close to the end of primary; just gotta finish up instruments and knock out forms, but it's gonna be hard keeping her off my mind.

Thanks for reading. Any comments, advice, and "quit bein a b!tch"s more than welcome.

V/R,
FTB

 

[hlg6016]

Some times it gets worse and they come back, Sorry to hear it happened to you, all wounds heal in time.
For now you cant do much but keep yourself busy and keep your mind on your training.

 

[xj220]

I'm getting over a similar situation and it sucks. Here are some things that helped me:
-focus on yourself: work out a lot, eat well, and look for ways to better yourself as a person
-focus on your work: being successful at your work will pay dividends in the future and it's a good distraction
-pick up a hobby: I learned how to play guitar, something I've always wanted to do and I'm climbing Mt. Rainier next month
-realize it's ok to be sad and hurt and the healing process takes time, but don't let it consume you
-realize it's over and you're never getting her back, it hurts but there's a reason it didn't work and you'll find someone who will
-some of my greatest advances and improvemts in my life have come from my greatest pain, use it to fuel you

PM if you want some things that helped me out.

Remember, you'll be alright.

 

[exNavyOffRec]

Hey,

Just kinda posting this here to vent I guess.

Started dating her before I moved down to Pcola and we've been doing the distance thing for a while. I don't want to get into the nitty gritty, but on top of distance, she had a ton of issues of her own to deal with including depression (has a therapist now) and decided she needed to be alone. I did everything I could, and I know there's nothing wrong with me. She was really good to me and we had a great thing going for a long time. Starting over seems pretty daunting.

Needless to say, I'm feeling ultra-bummed at the moment. I'm close to the end of primary; just gotta finish up instruments and knock out forms, but it's gonna be hard keeping her off my mind.

Thanks for reading. Any comments, advice, and "quit bein a b!tch"s more than welcome.

V/R,
FTB

Shit like this happens, and really if she needs alone time better now than a few years down the road when you are on sea duty with a kid or 2!

There is going to be some chick down the road that is going to be awesome and you will see that what just happened is part of what makes us who we are, yes it sucks but it helps us grow.

 

[Gatordev]

I'd let your class advisor, on-wing, or STUCON know what happened. You don't have to tell all of them, but pick one that you have a decent relationship with. I'm not saying you'll be made to sit for a few days, but at least they know about it as a Human Factor. If you think it will affect your flying, then absolutely raise that flag and let them help you.

 

[Randy Daytona]

I'd let your class advisor, on-wing, or STUCON know what happened. You don't have to tell all of them, but pick one that you have a decent relationship with. I'm not saying you'll be made to sit for a few days, but at least they know about it as a Human Factor. If you think it will affect your flying, then absolutely raise that flag and let them help you.

As someone who spent many years instructing in the Training Command, Gatordev is ABSOLUTELY spot on. Your on-wing needs to know.

 

[zippy]

Shit like this is what bars with buddies are for... suck it up, drink your sorrows away over the weeked or whatever and be ready to focus on the Job on Monday. It sucks, but she's replaceable... this may sound harsh but this is good training for relationships ending on deployment... at least you'll be able to relate to those peers and juniors to you who experience it on a 6-9 monther.

 

[jmcquate]

No divorce, no kids, and an entire future ahead of you. It's gonna suck for a while but you'll be fine. Also, if she wants to come back, think long and hard considering the profession you have chose.

 

[Griz882]

Get selected for helicopters...you'll have more women than you will know what to do with!

 

[Sonog]

There's like a million worse places to be in life than a single naval aviator. Focus on getting your wings, then go slay away in the RAG until you find a winner.

 

[Brett327]

Great comments thus far. It's a good inflection point in your life to take stock and realize/understand that it's OK to be alone and run solo for a while. Don't look to fill the void you're feeling with another relationship right away. Not having to care about anyone but yourself for a while can be incredibly liberating and satisfying. Enjoy that for a while. Focus on yourself and explore the possibilities that your physical and emotional free time now provides. Have meaningless recreational sex with people you never have to see again. Even though you're used to being physically separated (given the long distance thing), use this as an opportunity to strengthen your friendships and make new ones. Flight school, more than many other professional situations, is a time when you have a ready-made pool of people engaged in the same challenges. Invest emotionally in those relationships for a while.

It doesn't seem like it now, but this is a good thing to have experienced at this point in your life & career. You'll have successfully processed a significant emotional event, and that's healthy.

 

[scoolbubba]

Things not to get before wings: a wife or a dog. Even better if you wait til after a deployment or two.

You'll be fine.

 

[villanelle]

Buy some condoms. Use them with women who are well aware that you want little more than that. Get okay with being single, as in addition to just being healthy for you, it actually makes you much more attractive, and much less likely to stay in a relationship you probably shouldn't.

After some time, remind yourself that you ultimately want someone who would move heaven and earth to be with you, not someone who gives up on you when times are challenging. That means she sees you as purely optional, and why would you waste more time than necessary with someone who feels like that? I know that's small comfort when you are in the thick of the disappointment, but in time it will sink in.

 

[robav8r]

Buy some condoms. Use them with women who are well aware that you want little more than that. Get okay with being single, as in addition to just being healthy for you, it actually makes you much more attractive, and much less likely to stay in a relationship you probably shouldn't.

After some time, remind yourself that you ultimately want someone who would move heaven and earth to be with you, not someone who gives up on you when times are challenging. That means she sees you as purely optional, and why would you waste more time than necessary with someone who feels like that? I know that's small comfort when you are in the thick of the disappointment, but in time it will sink in.

^ This !!!
Oh, and make sure you send her a nice, high res pic of your smiling face as you're getting your wings of gold pinned on your chest

 

[xj220]

Oh, one more thing: for the love of God do not look at her Facebook, instagram, Snapchat, etc. clean break, she's dead. Unfriend if you have to.