Convincing Parents on Lasik

[Hopeful Hoya]

I'm 20 years old and healthy, and I wanted to get a consultation for Lasik or PRK so that I can go SNA/SNFO in a couple of years. As far as I know my case is pretty straightforward, I've been stable on the border of -1.75/-2.00 for several years now, and I have no other eye issues.

The issue is convincing my MD Mom to allow me to have the surgery. Her problem is with the possible side-effects, says that her opthamologist friends aren't fans of it, etc. I recognize that there are some risks to the surgery, but that's how much SNA/SNFO mean to me. As far as I understand, there would be no way for me to be commissioned unless I have the surgery.

So, I was just wondering if any of the docs or people who have had Lasik have any advice as to how I can change her mind?

 

[villanelle]

Do you have to change her mind? You are an adult, so she can't really stop you. At some point, if she isn't coming around, an "I love you and respect you and your advice, but I've done my own research and am comfortable with the risks, and this is something I am going to do," might be in order.

 

[Hopeful Hoya]

I would like to do that, but seeing as she pays my college tuition, I doubt that conversation would go over well... And regardless I would like her support to do this, and I know with the right approach I can convince her.

 

[BusyBee604]

I would like to do that, but seeing as she pays my college tuition, I doubt that conversation would go over well... And regardless I would like her support to do this, and I know with the right approach I can convince her.

So, with all due respect to your Mom, would she hold her son hostage by denying college funds, because she is wary of LASIK, which is a well proven procedure; which has allowed countless otherwise PDQ applicants to achieve their dream? You are 20 years old, and a certified voting adult. If your Mom is serious about defunding your education (and you are as determined as much as you say), and you cannot change her mind, guess it's time to cut the "financial chains" binding you... and go it alone, as so many successful aspirants from poorer familys have done. Through a steel will and hard work, when required, it can be done.

From experience, I have a feeling that your Mom may have more fear of the danger involved in Naval Aviation, than the danger of LASIK surgery... just a thought? Good luck in changing Mom's mind; however, if you give up your hopes & dreams, to please Mom, just to continue your free (entitled?) education, you may later regret it for the rest of your life!
BzB

 

[Renegade One]

I'm 20 years old and healthy…blah blah blah...

Um…this may sound shitty as hell, but here goes: If Mummy is paying for college, would Mummy also be paying for Lasik? If yes…then I think what Mummy says goes.

You have lots of time. When you're out on your own and can pay the freight…do it on your own.

 

[exNavyOffRec]

I'm 20 years old and healthy, and I wanted to get a consultation for Lasik or PRK so that I can go SNA/SNFO in a couple of years. As far as I know my case is pretty straightforward, I've been stable on the border of -1.75/-2.00 for several years now, and I have no other eye issues.

The issue is convincing my MD Mom to allow me to have the surgery. Her problem is with the possible side-effects, says that her opthamologist friends aren't fans of it, etc. I recognize that there are some risks to the surgery, but that's how much SNA/SNFO mean to me. As far as I understand, there would be no way for me to be commissioned unless I have the surgery.

So, I was just wondering if any of the docs or people who have had Lasik have any advice as to how I can change her mind?

maybe she just doesn't want you to be in the USN? if she knows you can't be a pilot without the procedure than saying no to the procedure is a way for her to prevent you from joining the USN

 

[Hopeful Hoya]

I appreciate all of your advice. I don't think I need to do something as drastic as emancipating myself. She's rational and I know that if I present her with the right information and right argument I can convince her. So at this stage that's what I'm trying to do. An upwards of 90% success is a good place to start I think.

As far as I know it's not about being in the USN, but it could be. I do not come from a military background (only close relative was my grandfather who was a 2LT USN during WWII).

I apologize if I came across as entitled and whiney, that not my intention. I realize how blessed I am and that this is just a drop in the bucket in the greater scheme of things. I just didn't know if any other people have been in similar situations had advice as to how they approached the situation.

 

[BusyBee604]

If Mummy is paying for college, would Mummy also be paying for Lasik? If yes…then I think what Mummy says goes.

Logic says, if Mom , an MD is obviously "not a fan" of LASIK for whatever reason. why would a loving parent pay for it if they thinks it's not good for their child? The real question remains... is she leery of LASIK, or the USN/flying (or both)? There is a whole thread here on AW regarding applicants pleading for advice on extreme parental disapproval of the military in general, and fear of military flying in particular. Was an active thread ~3-4 years ago.

*EDIT: Didn't allege 'entitled', it was simply a question
BzB

 

[Mumbles]

I'm 20 years old and healthy, and I wanted to get a consultation for Lasik or PRK so that I can go SNA/SNFO in a couple of years. As far as I know my case is pretty straightforward, I've been stable on the border of -1.75/-2.00 for several years now, and I have no other eye issues.

The issue is convincing my MD Mom to allow me to have the surgery. Her problem is with the possible side-effects, says that her opthamologist friends aren't fans of it, etc. I recognize that there are some risks to the surgery, but that's how much SNA/SNFO mean to me. As far as I understand, there would be no way for me to be commissioned unless I have the surgery.

So, I was just wondering if any of the docs or people who have had Lasik have any advice as to how I can change her mind?

I had PRK done the summer before I went to OCS and the Navy was just starting to entertain the idea of guys like me being a pilot candidate. I had it done in June 2000 at Tyson's Corner, Va Laser Eye Surgery Center. I went in 20/400 with a 0% chance of being a pilot candidate and I left with better than 20/20 and it's still that good 14 years later. I feel extremely blessed to have been able to have this procedure done and that the results afforded me the chance to pin on wings. My Dad paid for the procedure, (he's a former Tomcat driver that really wanted to make this happen for me). There were a lot more risks to having PRK done in 2000 for me, vice yourself having LASIK done 14 years later.

 

[Mumbles]

Of course your Mom's opthamologist "friends" aren't fans of a procedure that would put them out of business. They'd rather have you wear Urkel glasses that they've prescribed for the rest of your life.

 

[exNavyOffRec]

I had PRK done the summer before I went to OCS and the Navy was just starting to entertain the idea of guys like me being a pilot candidate. I had it done in June 2000 at Tyson's Corner, Va Laser Eye Surgery Center. I went in 20/400 with a 0% chance of being a pilot candidate and I left with better than 20/20 and it's still that good 14 years later. I feel extremely blessed to have been able to have this procedure done and that the results afforded me the chance to pin on wings. My Dad paid for the procedure, (he's a former Tomcat driver that really wanted to make this happen for me). There were a lot more risks to having PRK done in 2000 for me, vice yourself having LASIK done 14 years later.

Mine was done about the same time, I was also 20/400 and am still better than 20/20 also, the eye doc that worked on me had at the time done the procedure on over 2000 people, of those only 1 had to have another correction done on one eye due to correcting to 20/30 vice 20/20

 

[Hopeful Hoya]

Thank you guys for your responses. These were the kind of stories and evidence that I was looking for. I know with the right information and the right approach I can change her mind, it's just matter of getting it done.

 

[Dan Balch]

Hoya / Chris,

I'm a student at American and just went through all this. Not sure if you got lasik / still thinking about it but I got lasik the other week at TLC Rockville, and I HIGHLY recommend it. The doc who does the surgery is EXTREMELY good at what he does. He's done it more than like 60,000 times (not a typo) including people like Tiger Woods, Chef Geoff, and lots of government people from the Intel community to State Dept. to Senators. He only does the all laser custom procedures which NAMI prefers. He does Lasik and PRK (usually based on your corneal thickness). They have an office off of Farragut Square so you don't have to do all your check ups out in Rockville, but the surgery is only done in Rockville and Tyson's Corner.

I've worn contacts since 12th grade and I have usually hovered between -1.50 and -2.00 in both eyes. After keeping my contacts out for a while I was 20/200. I am now 20/15. Granted it was only a few weeks ago and they still haven't really stabilized but I'm very happy with the result. My eyes weren't awful, but I wanted to fly and I needed great vision for that.

I didn't really have a lot of problem with my parents, but I also paid for the procedure myself. I'd just be as calm and respectful as possible and just explain why you want it. Probably not super helpful info, but my two cents.

Dan

 

[Hopeful Hoya]

Thanks for the heads up Dan! Your case definitely sounds similar to mine (at least as far as the actual vision goes). I'll definitely check out the surgery center in Rockville.

 

[vladivostok391]

@Hopeful Hoya,

Dude, I used to be totally against any sort of eye surgery and my glasses literally were coke bottles turned on their sides and strapped to my face (-9.25, -10.50). Last May, I had enough of being afraid of something that is so routine and, frankly, affordable given its commonality now, and I went to the most doctor-recommended all-laser LASIK surgery center in my area (Hampton Roads, VA). I went from initial consult to surgery in less than two weeks and absolutely loved my surgeon and his medical staff. I went back to work within two days and my vision completely stabilized within a couple of weeks. Now, I cannot imagine life without the surgery. In short, to whatever extent it helps, my point is this - if LASIK can give me 20/20 vision given how bad my eyes used to be (I could barely see the giant "E" at the eye doctor's office), I have no doubt given your refractive errors that LASIK will be nothing short of routine for you. And not to mention life-altering in an amazing way.

Frankly, I'm shocked that any MD would be leery of LASIK these days; I'm leaning towards @BusyBee604's point. Is this really an issue of the only doc I've ever heard of having reservations about a common, proven, practically routine procedure, or is it a concerned parent who is set in her views concerning military service and is doing what she thinks is best for you? I understand that cost may be an issue for you as well; I was 29 with a professional job at the time of my surgery and paid my own way, but if you want it bad enough, you'll figure out the means to have it done. However, whenever you can... Get the surgery, man. And keep us updated.