Pilot/Homesick?

[JMonte85]

I need some advice. I was prior enlisted Air Force and have been wanting to be a pilot ever since. I have been working towards this the past 5 yrs. Finally graduated with a science degree and a 3.3gpa.

I did great on the ASTB and have a lot of leadership experience. Anyway, my recruiter said my package looks really competitive. I applied for both Navigator and Pilot for the October officer board.

I'm 26 yrs old. After getting out of the military I've been used to going home at least once or twice a month on weekends from school. When I first entered the Air Force I remember I did not see home for almost 8 months and then it was spread out a lot thereafter. Being 18 I did get home sick but I still enjoyed the military.

My problem is, when I was 20-21 I was all for doing whatever it took to be a pilot. I had the greatest passion for it. I still do have that passion for aviation and worked very hard to be competitive for it. I'm just torn lately. I've been living back at home now since May and I am close with my family. The closer I get to reality the more I start thinking it is a 8-10 yr contract to be a pilot or navigator. Some days I'm really pumped up about it and excited about being so close and others I think about the distance from home again. Idk if this is normal or now that im so close, reality has kicked in.

Has anyone else felt like this? even for a 4-6 yr commitment? I know Officer life is much different than enlisted and would be a great privilege but I can't seem to figure out what is wrong with me lately.

For 5 yrs I was so passionate about this. Everyday I thought about the choices I made how it would effect my chances for a military pilot, and now I'm inches away and getting cold feet about leaving family and home again..

Any advice you have would be great. Remember I'm prior enlisted, so I've been down the road before but it just seems different this time around. I'm just hoping someone out there felt like this, joined, and loved it. People say follow your heart but you can't trust that.

 

[twobecrazy]

Well, I am sure everyone has thoughts about missing their family during the process at some point. I think about that constantly as well but my family is 100% supportive of my decision. My family also has known since I before I could remember that I wanted to be a pilot. They say I used to run around all the time pretending I was a plane or a dog. But when they asked me what I wanted to be when I got older I replied, "A Pilot." So I believe my family is helping push me in this direction even though they know I will miss them and they will miss me. I noticed you said it is a 8-10 year commitment for NFO and Pilot respectively. My question to you being a prior is would you quit the military after having 12-15 years already under your belt? Being a prior myself I would have 13 years in the military if I went NFO and 15 years if I went pilot. I don't know about you but only 5-8 years and you have a full retirement would keep me in until I could retire. I just believe it’s too much time served to get out after your initial officer commitment.

 

[JMonte85]

See that's just it. They really don't support me because they don't want me to leave again I guess. I mean sure now they don't tell me I'm making a bad decision or anything, they just always ask "is that really what you want to do?" I mean I've always had a love for aviation, it wasn't until I joined the military that I furthered it to military aviation. Mostly from being exposed to it. I guess it would make things easier if I had more excitement and support from their end. I don't blame them though, it's just them being parents.

As far as retirement, that has crossed my mind as well. For now I just say 8-10yrs because it's not like a 4yr term. That being said, at least for whatever reason if I didn't like my decision it's only 4yrs. But when you start talking 8-10yrs that's a different story. And yes you're correct with us both being prior service, we should be thinking retirement for that amount of years.

 

[Schnugg]

Cut the cord.

I went to a service academy for four years, was commissioned and entered the flight program: Oceana stash (6 mos) , Pensacola (18 mos), San Diego (14 years), annapolis 8 years. Never looked back.

I was from Boston and have 5 siblings that still live there. Now it's just the place I grew up. I've well over half my life away from there.

Do what you need to do, not what they want.

 

[twobecrazy]

I mean sure now they don't tell me I'm making a bad decision or anything, they just always ask "is that really what you want to do?"

It sounds to me like the reason they are asking that is because as you have said previously you haven't made up your mind 100% yet. I received this question numerous times when trying to decide which college to attend. I applied to 4 schools. I was accepted to all but due to financial difficulties I could not attend my number one choice. The other 3 were very equal according to my research and opinion. Thus there was no truly wrong school to attend. They utilized this tactic and I changed my mind a couple of times before making my final choice. Thinking back on it now I should have picked the other school that I believe my family was pushing me to attend even though they didn't directly say it. It was also a school that two family members attended and done extremely well. I have my reasons for not choosing the school at the time but I can't say I made a truly bad decision. I am going to a great school that seems to fit me; however, I think I would have done excellent at one of the other schools. In particular I wish I went to the one school that my family seemed to be pushing me towards. If everything falls through I have sent an application to attend that school beginning in the spring.

I believe a family has a good idea what is best for someone but at times their opinion is biased due to the love they have for you. I am sure you are going to make an informed decision. This is probably the one thing that will keep you feeling fine about your decision in whichever way you choose to make it. I don't regret my decision for my choice of school but my educational desires have changed since my original decision. Do you desire to fly or desire to fly in the military? It sounds to me like you have a tough decision to make. That being said have you looked into the Reserves or Air National Guard?

 

[JMonte85]

Thanks guys for the support. Twobe, I'd rather fly military. Civilian right now just seems boring.. I'd rather do that when I'm older. Just posting this an knowing I'm not alone on this helped a lot. I guess time will tell for now.

 

[81montedriver]

I'm not knocking you for being close with your family and all, but come on. Being a prior, you should know that military life keeps you away from your family for a long time. If this is a problem for you, the choice should be easy. Getting through flight school requires you to tune lots of things out, family being one of them. There are times when studying takes up so much time, next thing you know, you haven't spoken to your family in weeks. I see my immediate family on average about once a year and other members of my family I only see once every 2 or three years.

On the bright side this is an awesome opportunity and if you really want to do it, just do it. You shouldn't give a shit about what anyone says. It's your future and you should just do what you want. But don't wait because with you being 26, your window for going pilot of NFO is shrinking rapidly. If you miss out because you waited too long, you will never forget it.

 

[zippy]

Thanks guys for the support. Twobe, I'd rather fly military. Civilian right now just seems boring.. I'd rather do that when I'm older. Just posting this an knowing I'm not alone on this helped a lot. I guess time will tell for now.

You obviously got through the homesickness the first time and enjoyed things- shouldn't be a problem for you do to it again. Flight school is a little different, you'll make friends there that last a lifetime, but once you hit the fleet your wardroom/ready room will become like a second family. I once had similar questions about the commitment time, time away from family etc... I talked to a family friend who was the CO of VT at the time. He said if I was letting the idea of a long commitment scare me away from aviation then it probably wasn't for me and I should consider doing something else. Best bit of advice I ever chose to ignore. I went off to flight school and haven't worried about the commitment since the day I started primary.

The commitment for aviation seems like a very long time when you look at it on paper. It flys by however. I'm still trying to figure out what, if anything else I want to do when I grow up. Thanks to the commitment I get to put that off for a while and have some fun, rewarding, job security in a shitty economy in the meantime.

 

[A4sForever]

Like Schnugg said; go for it.

But whatever you decide ... one man's experience:

I was only 'home' for 18 months out of my first sea tour ... that's 18 months out of 5 years total. I missed a LOT of things. But it got better after that ... I was active for 9, Reserves for 11, 'graduated' on 20. On reflection, I loved every minute of it, in spite of the 'bad times' ...

In the airlines (since I chose to fly international) I was 'home' @ 1/2 of every month ... for 30 years.

At the end of the 'last flight' ... when you block in for the last time -- if you go for aviation, whatever type or color it is ... you'll be glad. It's a world of personal satisfaction. And if you're 'happy' ... those around you (the family?) will also 'be happy' and be able to share in your good tidings ...

Believe it.

 

[bunk22]

When you say family, you mean wife and kids? Otherwise, it shouldn't matter, cut the chord like Schnugg said. It can be difficult at times with a wife and time spent away. I just returned from a one year unaccompanied tour and it took a toll on my marriage, one in which I may not recover. Many guys do however so it there is good and bad in all situations. I've been in the Navy for 17 years and have only spent a total of 3 years away, normally 6 months at a time so in the big scheme of things, it's not that much. Some sailors spend much more time away from home as you know. But when it's you gone during those 6 months, it can suck.

 

[JMonte85]

I agree with everyone here. I do need to go for it. I guess having gone through the process before and then coming back for a few years, getting comfortable, and having to start all over again sucks to think about. But like most of you said, it's a once in a life time thing and with me getting older I don't have much time. Thank you all for the opinions. It helped a lot.

 

[cbaker]

Eaglei,

You mentioned that you don't feel your parents are being overly supportive. When you ask them about joining, they ask you if this is what you really wanted. Have you thought that maybe they just want to hear you say "YES, This is what I want". I think as a parent you want your kid to live a better and more meaningful life than you did. You don't want them to regret anything, not to mention if your parents tell you yes and then you hate it. They are just taking the more cautious route.

I have been in for 12 years as Enlisted and am trying to go Officer. I will have to admit that there are times I feel I have missed things with my family and my daughter but no matter what, I know I made a great decision going into the Navy and now I am trying to take my career and family in another direction. You only have one life, do something with it. If you are so worried about missing something at home then don't do it. I will guarantee this though, when you are 60 years old, you will think back about when you could have joined the Navy and became a pilot, and you will regret that you didn't. I recruited for four years and I wish I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that or talk about how stupid they were for getting out of the military after 4 years. Take it for what it is worth, this is just my 2 cents and I am not anyone important to you.

cbaker

 

[HAL Pilot]

[beer rant]
I'm going to be contrary here because that is the mood I'm in tonight........

26 years old, already did a tour of active duty, and worried about being homesick? Grow some balls and sack the fuck up.

[/beer rant]

 

[phrogpilot73]

It needs to be said again:

 

[C420sailor]

You'll forget about all that homesick BS once you start flying. DBAP.