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Motivational Statement MEGA Thread
- Thread starter FSF17
- Start date
dandelo
Local 8251
Motivational Statement
I don't know about those I've read before, but the application I'm using has 2 separate questions, each with a 250 word limit (not one long statement). Here's what I have, including the statement at the end of my waiver request to [hopefully] cover my shoddy 2.3 GPA in college. I didn't really explain myself there (should I?); only offering how I recovered from it.
Thanks in advance for your [constructive] criticism!
[248 words]
There is no higher calling for me than the opportunity to serve as a United States Naval Officer. My enlistment in the Navy has taught me more about myself and my potential than I ever imagined possible, and I know that I am ready to take my career to the next level. My ultimate goal is to excel in my career and eventually achieve my own command.
Since childhood I have been a leader among my peers and have striven to succeed at every opportunity. As a restaurant manager, I utilized the talents of people from widely varied backgrounds to accomplish a common goal in a stressful work environment, and this experience has translated well in the Navy. I effectively communicate pertinent information and make sound decisions during critical situations to get the job done.
As a P-3 flight engineer I have learned that in a dangerous work environment like aviation, there is no substitute for meticulous attention to detail and steadfast devotion to diligent training and education. Moreover, I have gained invaluable experience in the aviation community while serving as the primary systems expert on the aircraft and being responsible for the safety of flight for a large crew. I know what it takes to be a successful Aviator, and I yearn for the opportunity to prove it.
The job of a Naval Officer is extremely demanding, and I know that my training as a flight engineer will give me a solid foundation for the challenges ahead.
-------------
[225 words]
Living in accordance with the Navy's core values is crucial to success as a United States Naval Officer. Honor is to conduct oneself in the highest ethical manner and to be responsible for one’s actions at all times. Being in a position of authority carries a great deal of responsibility, and a Naval Officer must constantly set an example for those around him. To gain respect, a Naval Officer must show respect, not only for his shipmates, but also for the moral standards set forth by the leaders before him.
Courage is perhaps the most visible characteristic of the United States Military. While it obviously takes courage to leave one’s family behind to stand in harm’s way to defend our nation, real courage lies in the strength to do what is right in the face of adversity, without regard to personal consequences. A Naval Officer must often make difficult and unpopular decisions to ensure that the best interests of the Navy are fulfilled.
Today’s Navy must constantly adapt to meet the demands of an ever-changing global climate. A Naval Officer must possess a strong commitment to technical excellence and professional development in order to help the Navy improve its ability to meet those changes. I am committed to making myself and the Navy better-equipped to conquer the challenges lying before our nation and our communities.
[FONT="]
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[/FONT] I very respectfully request an age waiver as appropriate for acceptance into Officer Candidate School for the Naval Pilot community.
[FONT="] My academic performance at Auburn University was well below my standards and does not reflect upon my potential. Since then I have matured a great deal and turned that into a learning experience. My performance since enlisting in the Navy proves that I am dedicated to success. I have been the Honor Graduate of my class in every ranked school I've completed and was the class leader in Aviation Electrician's Mate "A" school. I also obtained the rank of E-5 in less than two years and finished the Flight Engineer PQS several months ahead of schedule. I take great pride in even the smallest tasks assigned to me, and I know that my competitive nature will help me to thrive as a Naval Officer and Aviator. It is my utmost goal to serve the Navy as a commissioned officer, and I am more than ready to accept the challenge. [/FONT]
I don't know about those I've read before, but the application I'm using has 2 separate questions, each with a 250 word limit (not one long statement). Here's what I have, including the statement at the end of my waiver request to [hopefully] cover my shoddy 2.3 GPA in college. I didn't really explain myself there (should I?); only offering how I recovered from it.
Thanks in advance for your [constructive] criticism!
[248 words]
There is no higher calling for me than the opportunity to serve as a United States Naval Officer. My enlistment in the Navy has taught me more about myself and my potential than I ever imagined possible, and I know that I am ready to take my career to the next level. My ultimate goal is to excel in my career and eventually achieve my own command.
Since childhood I have been a leader among my peers and have striven to succeed at every opportunity. As a restaurant manager, I utilized the talents of people from widely varied backgrounds to accomplish a common goal in a stressful work environment, and this experience has translated well in the Navy. I effectively communicate pertinent information and make sound decisions during critical situations to get the job done.
As a P-3 flight engineer I have learned that in a dangerous work environment like aviation, there is no substitute for meticulous attention to detail and steadfast devotion to diligent training and education. Moreover, I have gained invaluable experience in the aviation community while serving as the primary systems expert on the aircraft and being responsible for the safety of flight for a large crew. I know what it takes to be a successful Aviator, and I yearn for the opportunity to prove it.
The job of a Naval Officer is extremely demanding, and I know that my training as a flight engineer will give me a solid foundation for the challenges ahead.
-------------
[225 words]
Living in accordance with the Navy's core values is crucial to success as a United States Naval Officer. Honor is to conduct oneself in the highest ethical manner and to be responsible for one’s actions at all times. Being in a position of authority carries a great deal of responsibility, and a Naval Officer must constantly set an example for those around him. To gain respect, a Naval Officer must show respect, not only for his shipmates, but also for the moral standards set forth by the leaders before him.
Courage is perhaps the most visible characteristic of the United States Military. While it obviously takes courage to leave one’s family behind to stand in harm’s way to defend our nation, real courage lies in the strength to do what is right in the face of adversity, without regard to personal consequences. A Naval Officer must often make difficult and unpopular decisions to ensure that the best interests of the Navy are fulfilled.
Today’s Navy must constantly adapt to meet the demands of an ever-changing global climate. A Naval Officer must possess a strong commitment to technical excellence and professional development in order to help the Navy improve its ability to meet those changes. I am committed to making myself and the Navy better-equipped to conquer the challenges lying before our nation and our communities.
[FONT="]
----------
[/FONT] I very respectfully request an age waiver as appropriate for acceptance into Officer Candidate School for the Naval Pilot community.
[FONT="] My academic performance at Auburn University was well below my standards and does not reflect upon my potential. Since then I have matured a great deal and turned that into a learning experience. My performance since enlisting in the Navy proves that I am dedicated to success. I have been the Honor Graduate of my class in every ranked school I've completed and was the class leader in Aviation Electrician's Mate "A" school. I also obtained the rank of E-5 in less than two years and finished the Flight Engineer PQS several months ahead of schedule. I take great pride in even the smallest tasks assigned to me, and I know that my competitive nature will help me to thrive as a Naval Officer and Aviator. It is my utmost goal to serve the Navy as a commissioned officer, and I am more than ready to accept the challenge. [/FONT]
SouthSeasPirate
New Member
Does it matter if the statment is not exactly 400 words? I have ~250 words and have said almost everything I want to... will I be penalized for that?
My personal opinion is that you ought to get within 10% of the goal (360-400). Or at least 350. Otherwise, in some slight way, you aren't following directions. Again, that's my opinion only.
bottlenose
New Member
Heres mine so far.. I've revised it probably 8 times or so...
I have always been inspired by both my grandfather and father for their service in the United States Armed Forces. My grandfather served honorably in World War II, my father in Vietnam. Their patriotism has always been nothing short of awe inspiring. For myself, their service and commitment to our country has driven me to follow in their footsteps.
When I think of a United States Naval Officer, I tend to think of someone who is a leader, manager, and has a passion for serving the United States Navy honorably. A good leader is someone who is responsible, a positive influence on others, adaptable, and decisive. These are all traits I feel I have developed through my past experiences. If given the opportunity, I am confident that I would someday become an outstanding Naval Officer.
Succeeding through a collegiate flight program was at the time the biggest challenge of my life. As an alumni and current flight instructor of the Professional Pilot program at Farmingdale State College, I am now responsible for the flight training of several students in the curriculum. As a recent graduate of the program, I am viewed as a mentor by my students. Being a flight instructor at FSC has helped me develop leadership skills. I must be a positive influence on my students. It is my responsibility to help guide my students through the program.
While working toward my degree, I spent an average of 25 hours per week on the Red Bull "Wiiings Team". Two years of which I was a team captain and took on additional responsibilities and managerial tasks. My tenure on the team showed me the importance of being a team player. My contributions to the "Wiiings Team" helped Red Bull Energy Drink become successful in key markets on Long Island.
Being a flight instructor at FSC and a ?Wiiings Team? captain have helped develop leadership qualities within myself. My experiences, my desire to continue to challenge myself, and my desire serve my country with honor have set the stage for the biggest challenge of becoming a Naval Officer. I have had a lifelong, deep passion for aviation which is why I seek a career as a Naval Aviator. It would be of the utmost honor to follow in my grandfather and fathers footsteps and serve my country in the best way that I can, as a United States Naval Officer.
I have always been inspired by both my grandfather and father for their service in the United States Armed Forces. My grandfather served honorably in World War II, my father in Vietnam. Their patriotism has always been nothing short of awe inspiring. For myself, their service and commitment to our country has driven me to follow in their footsteps.
When I think of a United States Naval Officer, I tend to think of someone who is a leader, manager, and has a passion for serving the United States Navy honorably. A good leader is someone who is responsible, a positive influence on others, adaptable, and decisive. These are all traits I feel I have developed through my past experiences. If given the opportunity, I am confident that I would someday become an outstanding Naval Officer.
Succeeding through a collegiate flight program was at the time the biggest challenge of my life. As an alumni and current flight instructor of the Professional Pilot program at Farmingdale State College, I am now responsible for the flight training of several students in the curriculum. As a recent graduate of the program, I am viewed as a mentor by my students. Being a flight instructor at FSC has helped me develop leadership skills. I must be a positive influence on my students. It is my responsibility to help guide my students through the program.
While working toward my degree, I spent an average of 25 hours per week on the Red Bull "Wiiings Team". Two years of which I was a team captain and took on additional responsibilities and managerial tasks. My tenure on the team showed me the importance of being a team player. My contributions to the "Wiiings Team" helped Red Bull Energy Drink become successful in key markets on Long Island.
Being a flight instructor at FSC and a ?Wiiings Team? captain have helped develop leadership qualities within myself. My experiences, my desire to continue to challenge myself, and my desire serve my country with honor have set the stage for the biggest challenge of becoming a Naval Officer. I have had a lifelong, deep passion for aviation which is why I seek a career as a Naval Aviator. It would be of the utmost honor to follow in my grandfather and fathers footsteps and serve my country in the best way that I can, as a United States Naval Officer.
Thanks in advance for you comments and criticism....
Seeking my commission as an officer in the United States Navy was a critical decision in my life. The Navy has given me the opportunities to work with a myriad of people from every background imaginable. These great men and women have really had an impact on my development as a sailor and as a person. Through my experiences as an enlisted sailor I have learned the meaning of honor, courage and commitment. The integrity and character that it takes to make the right choices in the most difficult circumstances are qualities not easily earned. Being on the front line of the technical training chain has really shown me the importance and effect we have on young sailors and marines. As leaders it is critical that we understand the needs of our shipmates so that we can motivate them, lead them, and retain them in our Navy so that they can in turn become our leaders of tomorrow.
Like the many of our Armed forces members, I came from modest beginnings. Even though I lettered in 2 varsity sports and was active in my community, I lacked focus in my academics. The Navy became a catalyst for change in my life. I finished my “A” school as “Honor Grad” and because of my exceptional academic and leadership performance during this time was advanced from E-1 to E-4. Unparalleled commitment mission readiness helped distinguish me as an expert in my field and led me to aggressively pursue my qualifications. During two deployments in support of OEF and OIF I gained invaluable leadership experience by overcoming diverse and challenging situations. As a Navy Instructor I once again rose above the standard and earned my Master Training Specialist qualification in record time. Through diligence and impeccable professional bearing I was able to ascend to the rank of E-6 in just six and a half years.
I have seen first hand the impact our training and leadership has on the future of our Navy. As a naval officer I look forward to making positive changes that will greatly improve operational readiness and contribute to a more functional and efficient fleet. Throughout my career I have consistently refused to accept anything less than excellence. I have no doubt that my service as a naval officer will exemplify our proud heritage and the highest standards of Navy tradition.
Seeking my commission as an officer in the United States Navy was a critical decision in my life. The Navy has given me the opportunities to work with a myriad of people from every background imaginable. These great men and women have really had an impact on my development as a sailor and as a person. Through my experiences as an enlisted sailor I have learned the meaning of honor, courage and commitment. The integrity and character that it takes to make the right choices in the most difficult circumstances are qualities not easily earned. Being on the front line of the technical training chain has really shown me the importance and effect we have on young sailors and marines. As leaders it is critical that we understand the needs of our shipmates so that we can motivate them, lead them, and retain them in our Navy so that they can in turn become our leaders of tomorrow.
Like the many of our Armed forces members, I came from modest beginnings. Even though I lettered in 2 varsity sports and was active in my community, I lacked focus in my academics. The Navy became a catalyst for change in my life. I finished my “A” school as “Honor Grad” and because of my exceptional academic and leadership performance during this time was advanced from E-1 to E-4. Unparalleled commitment mission readiness helped distinguish me as an expert in my field and led me to aggressively pursue my qualifications. During two deployments in support of OEF and OIF I gained invaluable leadership experience by overcoming diverse and challenging situations. As a Navy Instructor I once again rose above the standard and earned my Master Training Specialist qualification in record time. Through diligence and impeccable professional bearing I was able to ascend to the rank of E-6 in just six and a half years.
I have seen first hand the impact our training and leadership has on the future of our Navy. As a naval officer I look forward to making positive changes that will greatly improve operational readiness and contribute to a more functional and efficient fleet. Throughout my career I have consistently refused to accept anything less than excellence. I have no doubt that my service as a naval officer will exemplify our proud heritage and the highest standards of Navy tradition.
Here ya go
I think you have the good bones for a statement. My only two comments would be to first think of a punchier opening statement. After that, consider your self description. "Unparalleled" and "Exemplary" are strong words, but not quantifiable. Maybe you can use quotes from your evals instead. That is a reference to your record and not your own self description.
I think you have the good bones for a statement. My only two comments would be to first think of a punchier opening statement. After that, consider your self description. "Unparalleled" and "Exemplary" are strong words, but not quantifiable. Maybe you can use quotes from your evals instead. That is a reference to your record and not your own self description.
JSF_Dreamer
Busted Head
Here's what I have at the moment. My OR said it was fine, but I'm not impressed with his level of comittment at the moment. Let me know what you guys think.
**There are few occupations in the world that invoke as strong a sense of pride, honor, commitment and dignity as does the United States Navy. Both my grandfather and father have served in the Navy and I fully intend to continue that lineage with my own naval career. My grandfather was enlisted and my father is now an LDO. I shall be the first in my family to graduate from college and become a naval officer from the start of my naval career. It has been my dream to become a Naval Officer since my dad took me on a Tiger Cruise aboard the USS Saratoga when I was 8 years old.
I was married over 2 years ago and now have a son who will be looking to me as an example that he will follow. I find no greater example than to serve my country honorably and to provide for my family as a man and officer should.
Throughout my life I have been careful not to get into any sort of trouble that might prevent me from fulfilling this dream that I and am now so very close to. As a Naval Officer I will uphold all of the Navy's traditions and lead those serving under me by example and with respect.
I can offer the Navy an undying respect and desire to serve. In addition to that, I possess both natural and acquired leadership qualities. My natural abilities consist of a strong desire to learn, an eagerness to lead others, a strong sense of right and wrong, and the humility to learn from my mistakes. Through leading people at work and school I have been able to solve problems and put together the proper people to complete the task at hand. Such was the case when I and one other person took it on ourselves to lead a group of seven other classes to complete a statistics project the university had requested for one of its annual festivals. Together we were able to coordinate the efforts of well over a hundred student volunteers in a common goal.
A leader isn't someone who simply tells others what to do, but is someone who understands the strengths and weaknesses of those under him and, more importantly, understands his own strengths and weaknesses, and desires improve. **
**There are few occupations in the world that invoke as strong a sense of pride, honor, commitment and dignity as does the United States Navy. Both my grandfather and father have served in the Navy and I fully intend to continue that lineage with my own naval career. My grandfather was enlisted and my father is now an LDO. I shall be the first in my family to graduate from college and become a naval officer from the start of my naval career. It has been my dream to become a Naval Officer since my dad took me on a Tiger Cruise aboard the USS Saratoga when I was 8 years old.
I was married over 2 years ago and now have a son who will be looking to me as an example that he will follow. I find no greater example than to serve my country honorably and to provide for my family as a man and officer should.
Throughout my life I have been careful not to get into any sort of trouble that might prevent me from fulfilling this dream that I and am now so very close to. As a Naval Officer I will uphold all of the Navy's traditions and lead those serving under me by example and with respect.
I can offer the Navy an undying respect and desire to serve. In addition to that, I possess both natural and acquired leadership qualities. My natural abilities consist of a strong desire to learn, an eagerness to lead others, a strong sense of right and wrong, and the humility to learn from my mistakes. Through leading people at work and school I have been able to solve problems and put together the proper people to complete the task at hand. Such was the case when I and one other person took it on ourselves to lead a group of seven other classes to complete a statistics project the university had requested for one of its annual festivals. Together we were able to coordinate the efforts of well over a hundred student volunteers in a common goal.
A leader isn't someone who simply tells others what to do, but is someone who understands the strengths and weaknesses of those under him and, more importantly, understands his own strengths and weaknesses, and desires improve. **
markkyle66
Active Member
Hi all, I finally hacked away at my motivational statement and was looking for some criticism and discerning eyes... Thanks for all help you guys have been so far! This is 400 words on the nose by the way. -Mark
" My family experience and relationship with God have driven my aspiration to become a commissioned Officer in the US Navy. Unlike many people, I had the fortune of being born in a country where we are free due to the sacrifices of others before us. Over time I have recognized the real significance of what that means. Because of my volunteer work with Wings of Dreams and Fly-Drive-Ride for MS, I am fortunate enough to learn about this first hand from the veterans who lived those sacrifices. Having gotten such invaluable perspective, I feel like that beyond having been born on this soil and breathing this air, I have done nothing in particular to deserve such a blessing as being an American. I view commissioning as an Officer in the Navy as my chance to contribute to that history and to afford others the opportunities I have had in life.
I believe my grandfathers, both enlisted aircrew, unknowingly imparted that same aforementioned sentiment in me along with the core values they lived by. Those values, especially commitment, helped me endure being denied transfer to UF. Having since petitioned my way into the college, I have excelled with a 3.79 GPA and joined two honor societies. My grandfathers also took care of my brother and I as children and the time I spent with them has profoundly influenced my desire to serve. I would often venture into his closet, which stored aircrew helmets, uniforms, and souvenirs from VP-30 and VP-16 deployments. Often, he let me don his flight gear and uniforms, which I thought was just the most amazing feeling. He also shared photo albums with me pointing out slides of Neptunes and Orions. What I really saw in those photographs was the camaraderie and memorable experiences he shared with his shipmates. Something that to this day I doubt I could experience anywhere else. From that time as a kid in his room shuffling through photos, I knew in some way, some fashion, I wanted to lead such men and share similar experiences one day with my own family. Even now, I have a personal window into the sacrifices of those serving, as my brother is a Naval Flight Officer. I look at him and see everything I aspire to be. This has fueled my desire to serve as an Officer and become a small part of such an admirable history."
I wasn't sure if I should make an effort to make it more objective/acheivment oriented as much as really explain why I wanted to commission. Please let me know if I should think otherwise! Also, what type of formatting is recommended the Motivational Statement?
" My family experience and relationship with God have driven my aspiration to become a commissioned Officer in the US Navy. Unlike many people, I had the fortune of being born in a country where we are free due to the sacrifices of others before us. Over time I have recognized the real significance of what that means. Because of my volunteer work with Wings of Dreams and Fly-Drive-Ride for MS, I am fortunate enough to learn about this first hand from the veterans who lived those sacrifices. Having gotten such invaluable perspective, I feel like that beyond having been born on this soil and breathing this air, I have done nothing in particular to deserve such a blessing as being an American. I view commissioning as an Officer in the Navy as my chance to contribute to that history and to afford others the opportunities I have had in life.
I believe my grandfathers, both enlisted aircrew, unknowingly imparted that same aforementioned sentiment in me along with the core values they lived by. Those values, especially commitment, helped me endure being denied transfer to UF. Having since petitioned my way into the college, I have excelled with a 3.79 GPA and joined two honor societies. My grandfathers also took care of my brother and I as children and the time I spent with them has profoundly influenced my desire to serve. I would often venture into his closet, which stored aircrew helmets, uniforms, and souvenirs from VP-30 and VP-16 deployments. Often, he let me don his flight gear and uniforms, which I thought was just the most amazing feeling. He also shared photo albums with me pointing out slides of Neptunes and Orions. What I really saw in those photographs was the camaraderie and memorable experiences he shared with his shipmates. Something that to this day I doubt I could experience anywhere else. From that time as a kid in his room shuffling through photos, I knew in some way, some fashion, I wanted to lead such men and share similar experiences one day with my own family. Even now, I have a personal window into the sacrifices of those serving, as my brother is a Naval Flight Officer. I look at him and see everything I aspire to be. This has fueled my desire to serve as an Officer and become a small part of such an admirable history."
I wasn't sure if I should make an effort to make it more objective/acheivment oriented as much as really explain why I wanted to commission. Please let me know if I should think otherwise! Also, what type of formatting is recommended the Motivational Statement?
JSF_Dreamer
Busted Head
Any feedback to mine would be appreciated.
I would keep religion out of it, it has nothing to do with you getting selected. Any mention of God, political affiliation, so on and so forth is taboo in something like this.
Also, you spend a lot of time talking about your family history in the military. It is good to maybe throw a shout in there, but it shouldn't be one of the talking points. Many areas in this statement it seems like you are telling a story.
Keep it simple and honest: Why you want to be a Naval Officer, what you can do for the Navy, what the Navy can do for you, and give a few examples of how you displayed leadership. I also threw in a couple things about where I failed but learned lessons and rebounded from them.
Good luck.
hurricane221
New Member
First post ever, do your worst.
Stats:
3.1 GPA International Relations
56/6/6/7
D1 Swimming
LOR: Swim coach, 2 professors ( 05 army)
Motivational statement :
Although I was never able to meet my grandfather, his career, as a Commander in the Navy has truly inspired me. The virtues of sacrifice, service, hard work and humility that my grandfather and the U.S. military Officer represent are the base strength of our nation. The opportunity to positively influence our society and defend our nation is among the greatest callings. In times of uncertainty and change, it is easy and fashionable to see shortcomings in our nation, but few are willing to put in the work to make this great nation better. Theodore Roosevelt said, “Nothing is worth doing unless it means effort, pain and difficulty”. The Navy has a venerable and impressive history of success in the most difficult and perilous pursuits. The Navy now and into the future requires leadership and teamwork, which as a Naval Officer; I would be honored to contribute.
In college, I have pushed myself mentally at one of the most academically rigorous and challenging institutions while also pushing myself physically in 3 years of Division I swimming. During this time, I have been recognized for my achievements both in the pool and in the classroom. This collegiate experience has established me as a leader on campus and in the community, while also developing a vigorous work ethic along with a deep drive to succeed and overcome adversity. During freshman year I had trouble adjusting to the increased intensity of my academics and athletic commitments. Even with athletic success, my grades suffered and I failed to retain my academic scholarship. Despite this set back, I became more focused and disciplined in my studies achieving strong marks and convinced the administration to reinstate the scholarship. These combined experiences have allowed me to affect positively the University and the greater Boston community through various charity events.
For of my conscious life, the navy and aviation have captivated me. As a young child, one of my earliest memories was my Christmas gift of a Pan- Am airport. As my father worked for various commercial airlines, aviation became part of my life at a very young age. This childhood interest continued to grow after moving to Jacksonville with its large naval community along with attending high school across the river and under the flight path of NAS Jacksonville. These combined experiences have shaped me as a person and have solidified my commitment to serve this nation.
Stats:
3.1 GPA International Relations
56/6/6/7
D1 Swimming
LOR: Swim coach, 2 professors ( 05 army)
Motivational statement :
Although I was never able to meet my grandfather, his career, as a Commander in the Navy has truly inspired me. The virtues of sacrifice, service, hard work and humility that my grandfather and the U.S. military Officer represent are the base strength of our nation. The opportunity to positively influence our society and defend our nation is among the greatest callings. In times of uncertainty and change, it is easy and fashionable to see shortcomings in our nation, but few are willing to put in the work to make this great nation better. Theodore Roosevelt said, “Nothing is worth doing unless it means effort, pain and difficulty”. The Navy has a venerable and impressive history of success in the most difficult and perilous pursuits. The Navy now and into the future requires leadership and teamwork, which as a Naval Officer; I would be honored to contribute.
In college, I have pushed myself mentally at one of the most academically rigorous and challenging institutions while also pushing myself physically in 3 years of Division I swimming. During this time, I have been recognized for my achievements both in the pool and in the classroom. This collegiate experience has established me as a leader on campus and in the community, while also developing a vigorous work ethic along with a deep drive to succeed and overcome adversity. During freshman year I had trouble adjusting to the increased intensity of my academics and athletic commitments. Even with athletic success, my grades suffered and I failed to retain my academic scholarship. Despite this set back, I became more focused and disciplined in my studies achieving strong marks and convinced the administration to reinstate the scholarship. These combined experiences have allowed me to affect positively the University and the greater Boston community through various charity events.
For of my conscious life, the navy and aviation have captivated me. As a young child, one of my earliest memories was my Christmas gift of a Pan- Am airport. As my father worked for various commercial airlines, aviation became part of my life at a very young age. This childhood interest continued to grow after moving to Jacksonville with its large naval community along with attending high school across the river and under the flight path of NAS Jacksonville. These combined experiences have shaped me as a person and have solidified my commitment to serve this nation.
BigDave
New Member
My edits may not be perfect and probably just reflect my personal writing style so take them for what they are. Overall I think its good though